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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Daughter and stepdaughter

28 replies

Tinogirl · 29/03/2025 17:40

My daughter has become increasingly jealous of my stepdaughter because of her confidence and how she is so articulate, and being at ease with adults. I just don’t know how to help her with her confidence because all she can do is compare herself with my stepdaughter.

My daughter really, really wanted a relationship with my husband’s daughter. There is just under a year and a half between them but my stepdaughter has absolutely no interest in me or my daughter. She is always polite though, there has never been an issue with behaviour.

My daughter will be going to a state secondary school in September while my stepdaughter has always been privately educated.

SD’s mother is in a better financial position to us and crucially SD is central to her Dad as it should be and to Dh’s family whereas
daughter’s dad is indifferent to her and sees her about 2 or 3 times a year.

We are going, just the two of us, to Boston at Easter to see my cousin. I am hoping to use this as an opportunity to talk to her but I don’t know what to say. I worry she won’t reach her potential because she compares herself unfavourably to Dh’s daughter.

A really silly example but last night Stepdaughter spoke directly to waiter, asked for her meal to be modified but my daughter was almost struck dumb and I had to order her meal.

OP posts:
MyUmberSeal · 29/03/2025 19:01

redphonecase · 29/03/2025 18:42

You were pregnant when your husband had a 9 month old baby with another woman? Suspect there is much more to this than meets the eye.

You’ve added 2 and 2 and got 97 there.

lunar1 · 29/03/2025 19:12

It’s a lot for your daughter to deal with to be honest. A slightly older step sister who has a vastly different life experience. I would consider if living as a blended family is really fair to her.

are you setting your daughter up to always feel lesser.

Goldbar · 29/03/2025 19:25

I don't think you need to do anything about this tbh, except continue to focus on building up your DD's confidence and skills as you would be doing in any case. It's probably one of those issues that time and nothing else will sort out.

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