Might be long so as not to drip feed and give background. Who is being unreasonable?
Background:
Andrea and Brendan and brother and sister. Andrea is married to Colin, and Brendan is married to Diane. Andrea and Colin have two children 10 and 13; Brendan and Diane have two children aged 5 and 6 (6 year old has additional needs).
Andrea and Colin moved away from area where family stay for Colins work 10+ years ago and are to visit only 1 or 2 times per year (journey is 6-8 hours depending on traffic). They try to see all family during this time. Brendan and Diane have offered to host all family at their home so visiting can be done together, but Andrea and Colin prefer not to as it's too impersonal, and always turns into a party. Easiest way has been to work out who they are going to visit during the trip, then text family to let them know suggested meeting times, adjusting if necessary (they've only ever had to adjust for Brendan and Diane as others usually move their schedule to accommodate).
Brendan and Diane stay local to the rest of the extended family, but also have a holiday home 90 minutes away. Diane has a job that has her travelling regularly, long haul flights involved. Brendan and Colin are friendly enough but somewhat more distant after a falling out during a weekend away several years ago, as Colin had strong views on Brendan going NC with one of his and Andrea's parents.
The who IBU...
Andrea and Colin intend to travel with their children to visit over Easter time. They've text all family including Brendan and Diane to let them know of when they propose they meet up. Brendan has advised that Diane returns from a lengthy worktrip (2 weeks away from family) and will be tired from the travel. The next day doesn't suit either as Brendan and Diane have planned a family day with the kids after her trip and the day after they are heading to their holiday home for Easter holiday as Diane is off work.
Brendan and Diane have suggested they join them at their holiday home and they can host there or they would join them for the day when Colin visits his brother who lives approx 1 hour away from their holiday home (opposite direction from their home). Andrea and Colin don't want this as conversation with brother will be more stilted with Brendan and Diane and their kids there.
Andrea and Colin want Brendan and Diane to come back to their home to meet or delay going to the holiday home. Who is being unreasonable?
Voting:
Andrea and Colin unreasonable YABU
Brendan and Diane unreasonable YANBU