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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mothers Day - AIBU?

6 replies

Yerto · 29/03/2025 15:24

Me & my OH both work shifts and this year is the first year since 2020 that we have both been off for Mother's Day. We have a 5 year old.
I suggested going out for dinner with both our mums. My mum had plans already (unconnected to Mother's Day) so OH said he would cook for his mum in our house instead. I would rather still have gone out but said this would be ok. This has now expanded into us hosting other members of his family and OH has offered to pick them up and drop them home - they don't all live in the same place and not near us so it's prob about a 90 min journey for both trips - so about 3 hours all in all.
I do appreciate the gesture but I said I would rather we had stuck to the plan to go out as now I'll worry about the hosting and tidying up before and after, plus will have to entertain whilst he's cooking and try to keep my little one happy without making a mess etc. He said I shouldn't worry and he will clean up, but I can't help the way I feel. He feels I am ungrateful now. I suppose it does come across this way but I just feel like what should have been a nice lunch out is now a whole day of stress. I do really appreciate him offering to cook for me and his family and it was nice of him to offer lifts but in practice it's just more work.

OP posts:
BakelikeBertha · 29/03/2025 15:32

Why has this now developed into hosting other family members OP? It's Mother's Day, not 'All the hangers on day'. However, if you wanted to still go out for a meal, then you should have expressed this firmly. I think you should have posted sooner, as I would have advised you to tell him, that you really don't want to be left to entertain other people, when it's supposed to be YOUR day, but obviously at this stage, it's a bit late to change things. Why did he offer to collect everyone, that seems a bit silly to me, unless they don't drive?

Octonaut4Life · 29/03/2025 15:35

Sounds like it's time for you to take yourself out for a nice chill day pootling about the shops and eating out, and he can do all the hosting and childcare...

dreamingofsun · 29/03/2025 15:48

as this is now a 'hosting lots of family day' i'd suggest that you had your mothers day the following weekend instead and you'd like to go out for a meal or have a takeaway. it'll be better value/less busy then anyway.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 29/03/2025 15:51

Just tell him it's mother's day, not the 'let's entertain the whole bloody family' day.
Then take yourself and any children you may have, out to lunch somewhere nice

PalmTreeAngel · 29/03/2025 15:53

you need to be assertive and say you don’t want the other family members coming… what a load of stress… and it’s supposed to be your day too

Andylion · 29/03/2025 16:51

He feels I am ungrateful now

What are you supposed to be grateful for? He’s entertaining his family!

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