Estranged from mother on Mother’s Day

[NewtoLaw]

I’m estranged from my parents following too many years of bad behaviour, favouritism, hurtful events.

The final straw came in June last year and we haven’t spoke since. Dad tried a little at first, nothing from mum. I’m more at peace with it than I have felt for years although I do have concerns and worry about their age and declining health.

I sent birthday and Christmas cards but nothing more. This is the first Mother’s Day and I’m not bothering. AIBU?

Your choice.

Thank you, yes my choice. Following their choices over many many years of frankly abusive behaviour.

Was the birthday and Christmas cards ever reciprocated?

I'm sorry that you're in this position OP, but it's absolutely your choice as to whether you bother with your parents if they've treated you badly.

You post has no place on this thread.

Sorry, ignore it.wrong thread

I’m 12 years down the line. It didn’t even occur to me that I was without my mother on Mother’s Day….

She never was a mother. I’ve lost nothing

so your child’s point of view has no relevance.

I think you’ve outed yourself.

Outed in what way?

Mother's day is to recognise the good in your mum. As your mum was no good, you don't need to participate anymore.

Have lovely day yourself

I'm assuming previous Mother's Days have been awful? Enjoy the peace.

YANBU.

By the sound of things, you have nothing to celebrate with your 'mother'.

Parental abuse/neglect causes lifelong damage. If being 'no contact' brings you peace, stick with your choice. Just because she's getting older doesn't mean she'll miraculously be the mother you deserve. I know this from experience. I drew the parent short straw. It sucks, but it wasn't my fault, and this is not your fault.

Thank you all for your kind words.