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Why the f*** can’t I lose weight? I’m doing everything right

647 replies

Sorryagain · 29/03/2025 06:12

Postmeno, 55, want to lose half a stone. I don’t like my weight. I’ve always worked out, done lots of heavy-ish weights and eaten healthily but in the last month I’ve really upped weights a lot. I’ve also

  • kept to a low calorie count (20% off my TEE - track food most days. Try to keep to 3 meals but some days I do graze but not over cal limit
  • upped protein most days to around 100-120g a day
  • upped walking to try to do 7.5-10k a day
  • added at least one HITT class onto 3 days weight training
  • drink more water (my weakness)

i don’t drink, I eat v little sugar and almost no white stuff

the scales have moved by 1lb! I’m so fucked off.

I know post meno it’s hard but this is ridiculous.

I feel stronger, though, and I sense more muscle definition. But I don’t believe muscle will weigh more and keep me at this weight

thoughts? It’s v un motivating

OP posts:
Bogginsthe3rd · 29/03/2025 10:03

FridayNight1975 · 29/03/2025 09:56

while i agree it won’t all be new muscle weight, i personally love seeing how my body fluctuates between muscle and fat weight.

i have these scales which were recommended by my husband’s nutritionist.

they also measure visceral fat.

uk.pricecompare24.com/product/omron-bf511-family-body-composition-monitor/B0033AGBW0/?wbraid=Cj4KCAjwkZm_BhBZEi4Ay__IKedqt5cB3bIdI_ZWt4_V7Rynw4rbiJ_Zj4vlU5dXAJ97Ail6ZNKrdBcBGgKrZw&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAA-QI-Cr95XX1XWFH7AjM82LyOxhS5&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtJ6_BhDWARIsAGanmKdZnNSUlDowmg3hc8m7DAP9PIxfKLMBXiCQgtgC1csTtUe0lcOjBlMaAlt7EALw_wcB

"they also measure visceral fat". What a load of hogwash.

highfidelity · 29/03/2025 10:04

Get away from the scales and use your clothes as a guide. If you're weight training, you're building muscle which means the scales won't necessarily move but your clothes will become looser as you lean out. Remember, muscle is denser than fat, so it takes up less room.

HIIT isn't so great once you're post menopause, you need to concentrate on weights and LISS - low impact steady state exercise, so swimming, lots of walking etc. HIIT and other cardio can actually raise cortisol levels which means weight won't shift. Btw, if you're weight training, you don't need HIIT anyway as weight training, particularly heavy weight training such as dead lifts will raise your heart rate in exactly the same way as cardio. However, it will keep it raised for longer, plus muscle burns fat.

Also, and perhaps most importantly, weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise. Sleep and water are super important too. By your own admission, you don't drink enough water. Fix this. Now.

Read Next Level which breaks down why the perimenopause/menopause/post menopause body has difficulty losing weight.

Consider intermittent fasting or dropping to two meals a day - we grossly over estimate how much we need to eat as we age, even using TDE. Also, vegetables grown below ground turn are more carb heavy, so eat more that are grown above ground such as leafy greens. Dairy can inhibit weight loss too. Post menopause, the hormones in our gut levels are different and this can affect how we digest food, another thing covered in Next Level.

I have been in your shoes and can assure it you will get there, you just need to tweak diet and exercise, and most importantly, stop weighing yourself. Use your clothes as a guide, you will see a difference.

Next Level

A comprehensive, physiology-based guide to peak performance for active women approaching or experiencing menopause - from the author of 'Roar', renowned exercis

https://blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/product/9780593233153?gC=5a105e8b&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwtJ6_BhDWARIsAGanmKcIiEQQ7SMB0lFQ4-xKWgZZAiGu3rH3_NZ5IrExw85FVutaAhvVuKwaAk9UEALw_wcB

1SillySossij · 29/03/2025 10:06

But what about measurements?. Surely that's out actual goal. You will be losing fat and laying down more muscle as well as retaining water around your muscle repairs.

Melancholyflower · 29/03/2025 10:07

Maray1967 · 29/03/2025 07:12

You’re 9 st 2 at 5 foot 4. Surely that’s fine? I’m 5 ft 4 and 57 and aiming to get down to 10. A few years ago I managed 9 st 10 but it was bloody hard to shift the last few pounds. At our age it is really hard to lose weight when you’re already within the acceptable weight band. You are going have to eat less - I think you’ll need to stop the snacking completely.

Surely you understand that we are all different though, and just being the same age and height doesn't mean we should all weigh the same?
I'm also 57 and 5'4" and only ever weighed more than 10 stone when heavily pregnant. I never dieted and my weight post children (30s and 40s) was always somewhere between 8 and 8 1/2 stone. That has crept up a bit during my fifties, and I'm okay with that, but if I go over 9 stone I try and watch what I'm eating to bring it back down, because at that weight I do have an extra roll around my belly which I don't like and my clothes feel a bit tight. Obviously I'm not overweight by the charts, but I would feel fat for me.

highfidelity · 29/03/2025 10:09

ClairDeLaLune · 29/03/2025 09:46

Muscle weighs more than fat. Are you feeling trimmer?

Muscle does not weight more than fat. A kilo of lead weighs exactly the same as a kilo of feathers.

Fat has a greater volume and the muscle fibres will have a greater density. So, a kilo of muscle will take up less space and look smaller than a kilo of fat.

Bogginsthe3rd · 29/03/2025 10:11

Muscle weighs more than feathers (per cm2). Is OP shedding feathers only?

MacmillanDo · 29/03/2025 10:13

highfidelity · 29/03/2025 10:04

Get away from the scales and use your clothes as a guide. If you're weight training, you're building muscle which means the scales won't necessarily move but your clothes will become looser as you lean out. Remember, muscle is denser than fat, so it takes up less room.

HIIT isn't so great once you're post menopause, you need to concentrate on weights and LISS - low impact steady state exercise, so swimming, lots of walking etc. HIIT and other cardio can actually raise cortisol levels which means weight won't shift. Btw, if you're weight training, you don't need HIIT anyway as weight training, particularly heavy weight training such as dead lifts will raise your heart rate in exactly the same way as cardio. However, it will keep it raised for longer, plus muscle burns fat.

Also, and perhaps most importantly, weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise. Sleep and water are super important too. By your own admission, you don't drink enough water. Fix this. Now.

Read Next Level which breaks down why the perimenopause/menopause/post menopause body has difficulty losing weight.

Consider intermittent fasting or dropping to two meals a day - we grossly over estimate how much we need to eat as we age, even using TDE. Also, vegetables grown below ground turn are more carb heavy, so eat more that are grown above ground such as leafy greens. Dairy can inhibit weight loss too. Post menopause, the hormones in our gut levels are different and this can affect how we digest food, another thing covered in Next Level.

I have been in your shoes and can assure it you will get there, you just need to tweak diet and exercise, and most importantly, stop weighing yourself. Use your clothes as a guide, you will see a difference.

This is a great post. How does dairy inhibit weight loss?

VelociraptorsVelociRapping · 29/03/2025 10:14

You've had the message loud and clear that you have probably overestimated your TDEE. I find the estimate given by my Fitbit to be very accurate.

However, based on what you have said you have a perfectly healthy BMI of 23. I would continue the work you are doing on body composition and try to let go of your fixation on the scales. If you can't, you might genuinely consider if you're experiencing some form of body dysmorphia.

TonTonMacoute · 29/03/2025 10:15

Sorryagain · 29/03/2025 07:53

Thank you all. Lots to absorb and realise - I obviously need to cut more calories if I’m to lose. But also need to be balanced with my self perception and expectations, which I suspect I’m not.

for those of you who think I’m being rude, a know all, or an ‘ass’ - 🤷🏼‍♀️ - I can’t help it if I’m knowledgable. But as I’ve said, I’ve still to learn. And yeah, I do think people should read the posts if they’re going to comment. But my intention isn’t to be rude.

Apologies but I haven't RTFT, but have read all your posts.

Im 5'4 and the only way I lose weight is on 1200 calories a day. I do this using Michael Moseley's 5:2 intermittent fasting, so 2 days a week on only 500 calories means I can eat a bit more on the other days.

Plus exercise most days gives you a few hundred extra calories - although never as much as you hope! Track everything, I use my Fitbit and My Fitness Pal.

I agree with PP about weight, it's not the best measure. When I first started I dropped a dress size in 2 months without losing any weight at all, although we didn't have a very accurate set of scales at that time.

Just keep going, I always feel it's easier during warmer weather, but that may be largely psychological.

soupyspoon · 29/03/2025 10:16

Bogginsthe3rd · 29/03/2025 10:03

"they also measure visceral fat". What a load of hogwash.

They're notoriously inaccurate, not worth the money at all

Even body composition scans that you have done professionally have quite a margin of error, home scales in the bedroom wont be worth a scrap

OnePerkyRedDog · 29/03/2025 10:19

What are you using to track? Are you weighing everything out to the gram? Tracking every single thing including oil you cook with and if you have sugar/milk in brews, diluting juice in water etc?

NoAprilFool · 29/03/2025 10:20

I haven’t read the full thread yet, so someone may already have recommended this. Mel Robbins did a brilliant podcast this week with Dr Stacey Sims explaining how women’s bodies work differently. I see the same old things being recommended (intermittent fasting, dropping weights to focus on cardio) but these work for men not women! Can be counter productive for women (esp the weights v cardio)

Its a brilliant listen, can’t recommend highly enough.

ManchesterLu · 29/03/2025 10:20

Quite literally, the only possibilities are:

  • You've worked your calories out wrong
  • You're underestimating how much you're eating
  • You're gaining muscle (unlikely when in a deficit though)

Honestly, 100% honestly, those are the ONLY options.

But also, you say the scales HAVE shifted by 1lb, therefore you ARE losing weight. Slow loss is the BEST type of loss, and the most sustainable in the long term.

People cannot and will not stay the same or gain if they're in a genuine calorie deficit.

Cerealkiller9000 · 29/03/2025 10:22

Sorryagain · 29/03/2025 06:12

Postmeno, 55, want to lose half a stone. I don’t like my weight. I’ve always worked out, done lots of heavy-ish weights and eaten healthily but in the last month I’ve really upped weights a lot. I’ve also

  • kept to a low calorie count (20% off my TEE - track food most days. Try to keep to 3 meals but some days I do graze but not over cal limit
  • upped protein most days to around 100-120g a day
  • upped walking to try to do 7.5-10k a day
  • added at least one HITT class onto 3 days weight training
  • drink more water (my weakness)

i don’t drink, I eat v little sugar and almost no white stuff

the scales have moved by 1lb! I’m so fucked off.

I know post meno it’s hard but this is ridiculous.

I feel stronger, though, and I sense more muscle definition. But I don’t believe muscle will weigh more and keep me at this weight

thoughts? It’s v un motivating

Protein will add weight if you’re not using it. I believe it converts into fat or something?

also cut out carbs and sugar. As I’ve gotten older it’s so difficult to lose weight and the only way I can do it

is eating meat veg and fruits. Fasting everyday and only eat from 10-4pm per day. That’s it.

i also ONLY drink water

Nearly everyone drinks their calories.

ManchesterLu · 29/03/2025 10:23

highfidelity · 29/03/2025 10:09

Muscle does not weight more than fat. A kilo of lead weighs exactly the same as a kilo of feathers.

Fat has a greater volume and the muscle fibres will have a greater density. So, a kilo of muscle will take up less space and look smaller than a kilo of fat.

Oh bore off. You know EXACTLY what someone means when they say this. Why you have to be so pedantic I'll never know.

An average size brick made of muscle will weigh more than the same size brick made of fat. Everyone knows what is meant by this.

Bestfootforward11 · 29/03/2025 10:24

I haven’t read all the posts and I hear you re the losing weight and meno. I am not in a dissimilar position to you in terms of size and weight. I’m doing exercise when I can and definitely can make changes to eat better. I suppose what I’m wondering is how you will maintain this in the long term because it sounds a little joyless? I’m asking as if I was to try take a similar path to you, I think I’d find it hard long term.

Cerealkiller9000 · 29/03/2025 10:24

Rocknrollstar · 29/03/2025 06:16

Plain and simple - your calorie limit is too high.

She’s right.

it is impossible to eat lower calories and not lose weight. There will be something in your diet

I remember a dr saying this to me. People say about thyroid but my friend had a thyroid of nearly 100. She should have been dead and she managed to lose 4 stones! Even with that horrific under active thyroid.

FortyElephants · 29/03/2025 10:24

Cerealkiller9000 · 29/03/2025 10:22

Protein will add weight if you’re not using it. I believe it converts into fat or something?

also cut out carbs and sugar. As I’ve gotten older it’s so difficult to lose weight and the only way I can do it

is eating meat veg and fruits. Fasting everyday and only eat from 10-4pm per day. That’s it.

i also ONLY drink water

Nearly everyone drinks their calories.

Edited

Protein doesn't convert into fat. You just pee it out if you don't use it. If you eat so much protein that you're in calorie excess you'll gain fat but that's from the calories, not the protein.

FortyElephants · 29/03/2025 10:24

Cerealkiller9000 · 29/03/2025 10:24

She’s right.

it is impossible to eat lower calories and not lose weight. There will be something in your diet

I remember a dr saying this to me. People say about thyroid but my friend had a thyroid of nearly 100. She should have been dead and she managed to lose 4 stones! Even with that horrific under active thyroid.

She is losing weight though. Just slowly.

FBGHHH67776 · 29/03/2025 10:28

think it it probably more that the first comment from a poster was that you are eating too much, yet YOU jumped on them and said you weren't, only to backtrack after 12 pages and realise that you are.

An apology to that first poster would be good.

Edit - meant to quote your last comment about being an "ass"

NooNakedJacuzziness · 29/03/2025 10:31

OnePerkyRedDog · 29/03/2025 10:19

What are you using to track? Are you weighing everything out to the gram? Tracking every single thing including oil you cook with and if you have sugar/milk in brews, diluting juice in water etc?

I think I’d rather be chubby and happy than have to live like this

HollyBerryz · 29/03/2025 10:31

I5s probably so hard as you don't really really need to lose weight at 5'2 and 9.2. The last bits are always the hardest to shift.

ConnieHeart · 29/03/2025 10:35

How do your clothes feel? Any looser than before?

Cerealkiller9000 · 29/03/2025 10:39

HappiestSleeping · 29/03/2025 06:31

This 👆

Don't focus on weight, focus on measurements. If you are exercising, you will be gaining muscle mass, and as muscle is heavier than fat, you could end up slimmer, but heavier.

Also, walking isn't enough in itself. You need to add speed in to burn the calories. I lost weight a few years ago, and walked 6 miles, 3 times a week as fast as I possibly could. Had previously been walking the 6 miles and it did nothing at an amble pace.

That’s not true

muscle doesn’t weigh more than fat. 1lb of fat is the same as 1lb of muscle. They’re both 1lb

however muscle is denser.

TheRealHousewife · 29/03/2025 10:39

@Sorryagain INRTFT. I’ve only skimmed read your posts. I’m not sure if anyone has mentioned this but have you had your thyroid checked? My weight loss went into reverse whilst eating in calorie deficit and it turned out to be an under active thyroid. Once medicated I started losing again 👍

I hope you soon get the results you’re after.