Is daughter getting enough calories?

[Frolt]

i have been a little concerned about dd as she has lost weight recently (a lot of girls in her year have seemed to slim down and lost that puppy weight). I asked her dad to log what she had eaten whilst staying with him today. He sent over what she ate and he thinks it’s fine for a 5 ft 2 17 yo.

I don’t!

Beans on toast (one slice of toast with butter and 4 tablespoons of beans)

1 coronation chicken breast chunk from Tesco
Two cheese strings
Two crackers with cheese (Jacob’s cracker)

3 baby potatoes
2 tablespoons of coleslaw
1 broccoli floret
2 bites of cheese and onion quiche (no crust)

Cornetto

Apparently she complained about not liking the dinner despite having wolfed it down previously.

I think it’s about 1100 calories. Her sister (a 9 yo would have eaten a similar amount).

Ex and I did not agree at all. What does he know! They have an open plan living room/kitchen and he’s sure she didn’t eat on top of this. And stayed in her room most of the day.

She seems lethargic and isn’t as sparky

I had a brush with disordered eating around 17-18 and this is ringing alarm bells for me, especially the slim person who suddenly looses 10-15 LB.

If dad is ND, have you considered DD might also be? Disordered eating often goes hand in hand with neurodiversity in girls.
I'm really interested in what @newlampshade said about not eating bringing a sense of calm - do you have any links you can share, I've googled and not found much.

No. It’s nowhere near enough - and more importantly, it’s not balanced or healthy.

She’s eating processed, high fat and carbs. Where are the fruits and veg?

I wouldn’t be half as concerned, if I were you or DH, if she had something healthy - but no fruit or veg (potatoes and one Brocolli barely count tbh) but cheese and cornetto and processed beans and butter?!

I'm not trying to minimise at all and obviously keep an eye on it, but it's most likely a phase. I remember similar phases as a 90/00s teen - in most cases they don't last because they're not maintainable and interest generally wanes.

I don't mean to be blasé about it, because it some cases it does become an eating disorder, but I also remember being very annoyed and dismissive of my out-of-touch and OTT (concerned) mum at the time. Sometimes it's just something they need to work out on their own.

She is not. Shows absolutely no symptoms of nd.

There’s an eating disorders section on mumsnet - really suggest you look there. All talk about acting early to get the best outcome. If there’s not a problem then you lose nothing. But if there is try to address before it becomes entrenched. Which means go to GP but more importantly starting the treatment which is 3 meals and 3 snacks a day to a meal plan. If it is AN, resistance from your daughter will be immense. Hence jump on that thread as they can point you to resources to arm yourself with best strategies. eg the BEAT web site, Jenny Langley etc. My partner’s DD had 3 years of AN, in and out of hospital. Acting early can stop it really taking hold.

Hopefully this is nothing to worry about and it a phase. I'd keep an eye on her and hopefully things will resolve. But if not is it's best to get going with treatment promptly.

My own daughter who is recovering now could not have turned her eating behaviour around on her own, she was completely stuck, so noticing and starting family based treatment has been essential. Unfortunately @Bringbackjaspersthe reality of anorexia is that most people who develop it are
unable to recognise a problem, in fact this is one of the diagnostic criteria. And my own daughter did indeed tell me to fuck off, many many times during the first phase of treatment. At the same time her heart was in significant danger, she had a weekly and occasionally twice weekly ecg which showed us how much danger she was in, her heart rate slowed to dangerous levels in the early weeks and months. Would her dying in her sleep have been a better outcome than noticing she was not eating for you, as long as we didn't overstep?

@Mahanii there are a few useful things out there. I found this a helpful way of understanding this point 7 there are a few studies which look at this too.

Not sure why that link is shown as a 7, but if you click it it will take you to a useful short video

Thank you!