To think that if someone owes you money, they should feel embarrassed about it?

CremeEggThief · 28/03/2025 21:05

Onlynif they're not intending to pay it back!
I think you need to provide some more info.

BlondiePortz · 28/03/2025 21:06

Another 'people need to act how I say they should' it doesn't work that way

1900s · 28/03/2025 21:30

No one should ever feel embarrassed about having to ask for help.
Tbh op i would not want you as a friend if you think some should feel that way until its payed back says more about you,
They most likely feel embarrassed enough to even have to ask for help.
How low do you want someone to feel do you want to feel bigger and more power over them.
Basic respect is not to make someone else feel worse than what they may already do.
Your shameful and should be ashamed of yourself for thinking your shit dont stink.

stopthatrightnow · 28/03/2025 21:32

1900s · 28/03/2025 21:30

No one should ever feel embarrassed about having to ask for help.
Tbh op i would not want you as a friend if you think some should feel that way until its payed back says more about you,
They most likely feel embarrassed enough to even have to ask for help.
How low do you want someone to feel do you want to feel bigger and more power over them.
Basic respect is not to make someone else feel worse than what they may already do.
Your shameful and should be ashamed of yourself for thinking your shit dont stink.

This poster clearly likes to borrow money and never pay it back. They are what MN terms a complete CF

InfoSecInTheCity · 28/03/2025 21:32

I wouldn't expect anyone to be embarrassed if they borrowed money from me. Unless they had agreed to pay it back but then didn’t and were out spending money lavishly knowing I was broke, then I’d expect some shame.

1900s · 28/03/2025 21:35

stopthatrightnow · 28/03/2025 21:32

This poster clearly likes to borrow money and never pay it back. They are what MN terms a complete CF

Show quote history

No i dont borrow thank you.
But i have lent to others and working in welfare i see a lot.
Have you just made a thread so you can pick at comments you dont like.

JeanGenieJean · 28/03/2025 21:36

Depends on how quickly they pay back and what the agreement is.
I feel bad if I owe money, even if it's just £1. I make sure I pay back ASAP.
My SIL is a CF and tries to get out of repaying. I wouldn't lend her a penny ever again.

Fancycheese · 28/03/2025 21:38

Why? So you can feel bigger than them?

I never lend money to someone that I can’t afford to lose. I certainly would feel very uncomfortable if someone who owed me money cringed every time they saw me.

Clearly people should pay their debts. But it’s surely better just not to lend/borrow money to or from friends. It can all get very messy.

Mbhhhvff · 28/03/2025 21:39

I knew someone who would lend money from me for things and then if I asked them for the money back (often a couple of months later to give them chance) they would have the cheek to call me money grabbing!

BatchCookBabe · 28/03/2025 21:46

YourSnappyFinch · 28/03/2025 21:04

I don’t understand people who borrow money and then act like nothing happened. If you have my money, you should be embarrassed until you pay it back. AIBU to think that’s just basic respect?

Some people are absolute cold blooded sociopaths, and don't give a shit about borrowing money (or anything!) and not giving it back. Life's users they are, with no conscience. I would never EVER lend money to anyone - except my DC, but then it would be given, and I wouldn't want it back. (That said, they never ask!)

DH had a colleague asking to borrow some money, when they got wind that we'd come into some money recently. They wanted to borrow £1500! Said they were short of money and would give it back in a few weeks. DH was close to lending it to them, and I gave a very firm 'NO fucking WAY.' It's all joint money with DH - and joint accounts, and so we have to both agree.

So he went back and told this colleague 'no' as I had vetoed it, and they got really snitty and nasty, and started mocking DH saying 'oh you have to do what iccle wifey tells you do you?' DH said 'yes' and walked away. He came home and said 'I can't believe I was considering saying yes. What a twat.'

Candlecharge01 · 28/03/2025 21:48

Well they should be embarrassed if they don't pay it back but not necessarily be embarrassed because they borrowed money.

ByTicklishLimeBalonz · 28/03/2025 21:50

considering credit cards etc

hookeywole · 28/03/2025 21:50

Some people forget

PsychoHotSauce · 28/03/2025 21:52

Mbhhhvff · 28/03/2025 21:39

I knew someone who would lend money from me for things and then if I asked them for the money back (often a couple of months later to give them chance) they would have the cheek to call me money grabbing!

Yeah my brother did this a lot. He'd also be all nice when he wanted to borrow money, then as soon as he got it treat me with utter disgust and contempt. When I'd say wow, if I'd known you thought that about me I'd have never lent you (thousands) he'd sneer and say "ooh don't try and lord it over me". We don't speak now.

Coolasfeck · 28/03/2025 22:20

Yes this has happened to me. Lent money then the borrower acts like it never happened, hoping you’ll be too embarrassed to ask for it back. Then when you get over the awkwardness and ask, they act offended.

I no longer lend money that I can’t afford to give away because I’ve learned that even when you think you really know someone, things can change when money is involved and it can lead to ill feelings on both sides.

EasternEcho · 28/03/2025 22:25

Only if they don't repay it by the agreed date. I wouldn't expect them to feel embarassed simply because they needed help.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 28/03/2025 22:27

1900s · 28/03/2025 21:30

No one should ever feel embarrassed about having to ask for help.
Tbh op i would not want you as a friend if you think some should feel that way until its payed back says more about you,
They most likely feel embarrassed enough to even have to ask for help.
How low do you want someone to feel do you want to feel bigger and more power over them.
Basic respect is not to make someone else feel worse than what they may already do.
Your shameful and should be ashamed of yourself for thinking your shit dont stink.

Yeah, your aggression shows that you didn’t read the post. This is not about someone in desperate need being humiliated by begging for a loan and then being reminded of it. This is about someone borrowing money then pretending they don’t owe it. The people who let friends book tickets, flights, pay for meals and rounds of drinks or borrow £50…then cheekily go quiet and hope the kind friend will find it awkward to chase it. I had a friend like this. Had.

stopthatrightnow · 28/03/2025 22:31

I can’t stand people who borrow off their friends and then force them to ask multiple times to pay it back. Cheeky fuckers.

I once had a BF who owed loads of people loads of money, including me. He owed me over £3k. He refused to pay it back. He then went and got a BMW on finance, £700 per month! So he could afford to pay for that, but not pay me back. A few months later he asked me to “lend” him all of the money my parents had given to me to live on for the year to top up my student loan. He could not understand why I said no.

I also had a former friend who was constantly looking to me to pay for things. The worst example was that I had a sparkling water while she had a full lunch costing £25. She disappeared when the bill came and then pretended she was on the phone and gestured to me to pay it. Stupidly I did so. She did this sort of thing regularly. A few weeks later she asked me to lend her £20 because she was short. I did so. I had to ask her three times for the money back, something I found very awkward. And she was so dismissive about it; made it clear she resented me asking for it. The worst of it was that a few weeks prior to this she’d won £110,000 in a house raffle.

Like I said, CFs.

I