My neighbour keeps staring at me

[Sunnydaysahead22]

My neighbours both have additional needs but I don’t know to what extent.
The husband will stare at me when I’m in the back garden, to the extent that he opens his bathroom window (long horizontal opening across the top of the window) and slides his head through it sideways. When I look up as I sense I’m being watched he slides down and hides himself.
He also had his front security lights and cameras set so sensitively that as soon as I left my front door or stood anywhere in the front garden (we are detached with quite a distance between our houses) his sensor light would go off.
I have addressed this and said I didn’t want to be recorded when in my own garden, but he acted like he didn’t understand, but when I said this was against the law and he should reduce the range of his cameras this seemed to be understood and it seems to have been addressed.
He also has intercepted the postman a couple of times and said we weren’t in and offered to take our parcels, and then watches me through the window when I go over to try and collect and refuses to answer the door. The last incident he did this for a number of days, in the end I text his wife and said how many times I’d tried but maybe they weren’t in but I was desperate for the items.
Ive also noticed that the young daughter (aged 6) will also now wedge her head in the window to watch us, she must be standing on the toilet to get so high, and seems a learned behaviour.
I find it so bazaar, but not sure of the best way to address without looking like I’m being unreasonable or insane, and I am also conscious of their additional needs or understanding of what they are doing to me.

So AIBU to not want to be watched constantly.

Have a word with the postman. You can also make it clear with Royal Mail that you don’t want your parcels left at that house.

Re head through bathroom window.
Stare straight at them and say, “Can I help you? What do you want?” and keep staring straight at them till they disappear.
Repeat as necessary…

Get a pair of binoculars and point them at him every time you see him doing his meerkat impression.

Some people don't think staring's rude, baffling!

This! Plus I’d record and tell them you’re going to the police for stalking / harassment if they don’t stop (whether you do or not). I’d also challenge the postie to never leave anything with them again!

That's so creepy and invasive.

Not sure what kind of "additional needs" would cause that.

I would find this super weird and creepy.

I would also be concerned about the fact that they are looking after a 6 year old child and the child is now doing the same thing.

You should definitely say something. Just because someone has additional or special needs it doesn’t mean that other people should suffer their inappropriate behaviour. As others have said ask what it is he wants “Are you ok? Is there something I can help you with?” and record him with your phone every time he does it.

How do you know they have additional needs, OP, do they have support workers going in and out? Could you try and catch one of them for a chat?

This type of behaviour would well and truly irritate the hell out of me. My house and garden is my private space.
Maybe they don’t understand social norms and sound like they are maybe a bit bored …maybe odd they have a young child who is copying. I would definitely say not to leave with neighbour under any circumstances when you order; like others said speak to your postman. Put up as much privacy fencing as possible - leylandi trees grow really fast and are great. And I would keep going around to tell them not to stare. They sound like those type of people though I’m afraid.
we’ve got an elderly neighbour who’s given us a lot of grief when we moved in- she would stand on a box to peer over the fence in our garden; constantly came round; she ended up with vascular dementia and would be daily over the fence every time our dog went out for a wee. It drove us mad. Literally mad. Nip it in the bud as soon as possible! Good luck

Use a mirror to flash some sunlight straight into his eyes. Defo get some fencing up.
I had similar with a neighbour who would come out as soon as I was in the garden. I put up fencing and he would walk round to the open field and come in the back. I had to go round and explain that I if I ever saw him in my garden again I would be calling the police. He stopped.

OP - bazaar? One for the Viscous thread!

Are you asking because you’re trying to help the OP or because you’re trying to catch her out on the details somehow?

Post a note through their letter box.

Dear neighbour,

Please don't intercept my deliveries. Please stop staring at me through your bathroom window. Please ensure any of your security devices do not record my use of my private property.

Thank you.

(add fluff as necessar).

Do you have a resident s association? Residents group, that could issue neighbourhood wide general advice about being a polite neighbour.

Can't you just knock on the door and say 'Hi Mr neighbour. I'd appreciate it if you and your family would stop sticking your head out the window to watch me. It makes me feel uncomfortable'.

I don't know what toh mean by additional needs, but even if they have a learning disability or etc, you can still set boundaries with them.

Thanks for all your messages and support that I’m not going mad!!
As for the additional needs, I’m not entirely sure, there is a clear element of learning difficulties with him and his wife, and maybe with that there is a lack of social norms. He completely blanks me in the street. There’s no evidence of any regular social workers.

Garden sails are quite cheap. Angle one under his bathroom window side of your garden. Or make a home made sign for the garden so he can see it..
GO AWAY CREEP
.

I don't know, but "bazaar" made me snort 😁

ask them to stop and say if they don’t you’ll buy a long range squirt gun and start firing water at him. That should stop any further issues. 😹

Big old super soaker if water doesn’t work fill it with Ribena and let the wasps have at him.