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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I can drive 4 hours per day, 4 times a week as a newly qualified driver?

232 replies

Psych101B · 28/03/2025 14:27

I am starting a university course in September and am unable to move closer to the university due to various reasons. The drive from my house is 2 hours each way. I passed my test in 2023 but haven’t driven much since (only short drives to local supermarkets etc) as I’ve been saving up to buy a car.

Am I being unrealistic in thinking that if I get a car in April and do intensive driving practice between then and September, that I will be confident and able to drive for 4 hours per day 4 times a week?

OP posts:
chakrakkhan · 28/03/2025 18:04

It’s the cost of the fuel l’d be more concerned about.

BoiledOrRoastPotatoes · 28/03/2025 18:11

LillyPJ · 28/03/2025 17:21

Although the journey would become more familiar over time, that can also be a danger. When I was commuting, I found the drive increasingly boring which made me start to feel drowsy and not as alert as a driver should always be.

Yes but that is true of a driver of any experience, not just new drivers.

thismummydrinksgin · 28/03/2025 18:34

I think this is a lot to do OP.

hopeishere · 28/03/2025 18:47

Will you never be able to move closer or is it temporary. Doing that much driving will certainly improve your confidence but it is a lot of driving. If it were a fraction shorter eg 1.5hours it might be easier.

LillyPJ · 28/03/2025 18:52

Crazyworldmum · 28/03/2025 18:00

Off course you can , when I passed my driving licence quite a few years ago I had to do the same as I had a child already and when back to uni . After 2 days I was an expert on motorway driving despite never being in one . Also gave me the confidence to never being scared so I drive anywhere, uk , abroad , city , country roads etc .
if it’s something you really want go for it .

I don't think anyone could claim to be an expert on motorway driving after 2 years - or 22 years, let alone 2 days! In fact, thinking you're an expert is a dangerous assumption - there's nearly always something new to learn or something to improve on. And that applies to most areas of life.

BlueMum16 · 28/03/2025 18:53

Psych101B · 28/03/2025 16:26

Thanks for all the responses - lots to think about!

I would be able to stay in a hotel/air bnb sometimes but I wouldn’t be able to do this all the time due to personal family circumstances.

In terms of the train journey, I’ve just had a look on Google maps and at the times I’d be travelling, the journey would take me 3.5 hours each way, so I’d have to leave my house at about 5:45am and would get home at about 7:30. Do people think this is more sustainable than driving? The obvious benefit would be having lots of time to get work done and being able to relax more once home, but I’m just worried about the public transport commute as it involves a bus, a tube, a train and then another bus. I may need to find a way to make the hotel/air bnb a more viable option, but that’s easier said than done…

Is there another train option if you were to drive somewhere first?

So if there is no direct train can you driver to one of the later stations and get a later connection?

The benefit of being on the train and not driving is time to rest or study. Driving is full on concentration and then tired when you are home.

Look at railcars options too to save a third.

Psych101B · 28/03/2025 18:53

hopeishere · 28/03/2025 18:47

Will you never be able to move closer or is it temporary. Doing that much driving will certainly improve your confidence but it is a lot of driving. If it were a fraction shorter eg 1.5hours it might be easier.

I will never be able to move closer. However it is a 3-year course, and I only need to be at uni for 4 days a week in the first year. In the second year I will be there once a month, and in the third only a few days per year. So the travel is only really an issue for the first year

OP posts:
Psych101B · 28/03/2025 18:56

Unfortunately there is only one train option running at the time I will be travelling. I have looked at driving to one of the stations however it takes the same time as it would to get public transport, and I am travelling out of London so parking may be a pain

OP posts:
TheSquareMile · 28/03/2025 19:08

@Psych101B

It sounds as though your journey is going to involve getting from one side of London to the other, OP.

I think that it's going to endanger your chances of success in your course.

The problem will be starting the course again if travelling problems make it difficult to continue.

Is it the case that your parents would prefer you to continue to live at home rather than move into student accommodation?

Gravytanned · 28/03/2025 19:09

I’d be exhausted doing that. For me, 4 hours driving in a day is my limit to feel fully refreshed and alert.

I know others can manage more but I do wonder if people are kidding themselves and have just got lucky.

JustMeHello · 28/03/2025 19:10

I think it would get ridiculously hard very quickly. It's going to be really hard work in winter when it's peeing with rain and dark and cold and you're tired and grumpy and coming down with a cold.

Acommonreader · 28/03/2025 19:14

SapphireOpal · 28/03/2025 14:46

Absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to drive but don't underestimate the costs of a car. That kind of commute will be a large amount in fuel (plus insurance, upkeep, tyres, servicing, road tax etc).

Let's say 2 hours each way is 100 miles - at 800 miles a week I'd be paying over £100 a week in fuel alone. Insurance will be expensive if you've only passed a couple of years ago. It'll be cheaper than the season ticket, but not loads cheaper I'd say. So if you'd rather get the train and are driving to save money, I wouldn't bother.

Agree with this . I do approximately 100 miles per day and spend about £80 per week on fuel with a 4 year old hybrid car. Have a look at you mr average mpg and the cost of petrol where you live ( motorway petrol is more expensive) . I need new tyres etc more often than when I drove less miles. These things add up.
Don’t forget to factor in extra time ( and fuel) for heavy rain , snow, icy journeys too! Good luck.

WithManyTot · 28/03/2025 19:17

Psych101B · 28/03/2025 14:56

Thanks for all the responses. Just to address a few points:

  • It is 90 miles each way.
  • I would only be driving this much for the first year, and generally only during school term times.
  • There is a park and ride that goes to my uni which is free to park and only a couple of pounds for the bus.
  • I could potentially do 3 days a week driving and have one day (maybe midweek or end of the week?) where I get the train to make the driving more bearable?
  • It will mostly be 4 days a week, with some occasional days at home.

The other drawback with the train is that it takes 45 minutes longer than driving, so I would have to be up and out of the house earlier, get home later, and spend more money, which is why I was leaning towards driving

90 miles each way, 4 days a week, 10 weeks a term, 3 terms a year is over 20,000 miles a year. That is a lot of driving. It will be tiring, worse in winter, It will be no fun and worst of all it will be very dangerous ( driving is about the most risky thing we all do). You won't enjoy it, and it will be detrimental to your course, If it's 1000 a month for a train ticket, your life, happiness and success is easily worth way more than that, but overall this is all telling you to somehow find somewhere closer to stay,

Acommonreader · 28/03/2025 19:19

What about a room lodging situation? I have a friend who works two days per week in a city ( wfh rest of week) . She rents a room from a woman with a spare room very cheaply ( 30 per night) . You could get more work done this way?

EmmaEmEmz · 28/03/2025 19:21

I've been driving for twenty years. I drive back to my hometown once every six weeks or so, which is a 2.hour drive and that tires me out, I've never even attempted to do that in one day.

Pipsquiggle · 28/03/2025 20:04

@Psych101B where do you live and which campus will you need to get to?

SolarSaviour · 28/03/2025 20:44

I used to do a long daily commute, here are my top tips

Buy breakdown, recovery car insurance with AA or RAC

Never let your petrol level get below half full, before starting a long journey. Because if there is an accident, you will be delayed for several hours & you will need extra petrol

Keep drinks & snacks in the car (incase of delays)

Keep water in the car topped up to use on the windscreen

Keep waterproof jacket in the car (incase of delays)

I also carry a fluorescent jacket & a first aid kit

If there are road closures you need to be able to get off your normal route & navigate to your destination via alternate routes

A 2 hour journey will turn into a 3,4,5,6+++hour journey if there are accidents, road works, bad weather, unexpected events

Basically, you just get used to spending hours in the car & stay alert

Good luck

blueIKEAbag · 28/03/2025 20:50

I think OP that if this course is as valuable to you as you say it is, then you need to make some life-changing decisions over the coming months to be able to do this.

PPs are about 90% in agreement that this will be exhausting for you, will destroy your car, and will cost you a lot of money in any case. It may even put your academic success itself in jeopardy.

If you’ve got caring responsibilities, or if your parents are putting pressure on you for religious/cultural reasons, you may really need to reconsider things at a big picture level. I’d say that this is barely viable for you.

I’ve recently left a job where the travel was as follows and it was exhausting:

25 miles each way 3-4 days per week, mainly driving on a very busy motorway

travelling to another site 170 miles away once a month including a couple of nights stay

Occasional other UK / European travel

whynotwhatknot · 28/03/2025 21:28

it will cost a fortune an you'll; be knackered- i rive four hours to go hvisit inlaws an am shattered at the end of the day and thats only a few times a year

Outofthepan · 28/03/2025 22:25

Much cheaper than public transport. And much more convenient

waterrat · 28/03/2025 22:33

that is further than London to Brighton..a tiring journey and when I sometimes have to do it there and back in a day i hate it.

awsll · 28/03/2025 22:38

Move for the first year. It will be cheaper and less tiring than commuting.

Crazyworldmum · 28/03/2025 23:42

LillyPJ · 28/03/2025 18:52

I don't think anyone could claim to be an expert on motorway driving after 2 years - or 22 years, let alone 2 days! In fact, thinking you're an expert is a dangerous assumption - there's nearly always something new to learn or something to improve on. And that applies to most areas of life.

It’s obviously 🙄 an exaggeration , my way of saying I was quite confident after a couple of days and I would consider myself an expert now , I do roughly 40000 miles a year , 80% motorway and no I’m not a professional driver , we just travel a lot .

Shubbypubby · 29/03/2025 11:07

Of course you can and lots of driving practice is the best way to improve. I did Pass Plus with motorway lessons a few days after passing my tests and was doing a 60 mile round trip on motorways & in an city every day after it. It was the reason I’d poured so much money and effort into driving lessons. I was mid 30s so not a kid and getting out there on the roads taught me so much.

Bedofroses85 · 29/03/2025 11:45

I did something similar for a while and ended up staying in a cheap hotel once or twice a week to not end up completely exhausted. You should consider this or a room at an Airbnb

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