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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School party drama

19 replies

firsttimemom99x · 28/03/2025 11:41

Heyyyy, just want some advice

So my 4 year old is in reception and went to a party a couple of weeks ago. Never usually have problems with my DC and other children - but at this party my DC was on the bouncy with a little girl in his class. My DC accidentally kicked this little girl whilst bouncing, so the little girl pushed my DC - this then resulted in my DC hitting her.

I took my DC off the bouncy castle and explained how even if someone pushes us we should just walk away, we shouldn’t hit and if does that again we’ll have to leave etc etc

However as I come back from the toilet I find the little girls mom shouting at my DC! It seems the little girl had gone and told her mom what had happened (probably left out the part that she pushed him, as most young kids would) and she’d gone out of her way to find my DC to tell him off

I explained the situation (he accidentally kicked her whilst bouncing, she pushed then he hit but I’ve spoken to him about it it won’t happen again etc) and she rolled her eyes and walked off

Now it’s been a couple of weeks and this mom is being so awkward with me in the playground. We all stand in a group during drop off/pick up and she’ll go out of her way to say hello/chat to everybody but me, just constant dirty looks or sarcastically smirking when I’m talking etc. Quite minor things but enough to make feel uncomfortable

I’m a pretty shy/anxious person and I really don’t like confrontation, I just don’t understand why she’s acting like this 😩 the kids are all fine now and play with eachother lovely (I even checked with the teacher). I wasn’t particularly happy about her shouting at my child either but thought it was best not to add any more tension to the situation and my DC wanted to leave then anyway.

Should I have handled the situation at the party differently? AIBU?

or is she BU? Is she just one of these moms that aren’t very nice?

OP posts:
poetryandwine · 28/03/2025 11:45

She is just a mum who isn’t very nice.

As you say, it was only natural for her DD to omit the push in the retelling. However in no way does this give her the right to yell at your DS. Someone who automatically takes her own four year old word’s for gospel truth is a nightmare in the making. Pity the child’s teachers.

takealettermsjones · 28/03/2025 11:45

Oh, she's the popular girl in school isn't she 😂 (the mum I mean, not the kid!)

Just ignore her. She's being petty and ridiculous. These things happen and the kids are probably the best of friends by now.

Original poster
firsttimemom99x · 28/03/2025 11:47

poetryandwine · 28/03/2025 11:45

She is just a mum who isn’t very nice.

As you say, it was only natural for her DD to omit the push in the retelling. However in no way does this give her the right to yell at your DS. Someone who automatically takes her own four year old word’s for gospel truth is a nightmare in the making. Pity the child’s teachers.

This is exactly it! If my 4 year old came over to me and said ‘ … hit me’ I just know they’ll probably be details he’s leaving out 😂 obviously in an ideal world we’d all have kids that never lay a finger on eachother but little scuffles like this happen, they were both happy 2 minutes later!

OP posts:
Bobbybobbins · 28/03/2025 11:49

You did the right thing and now just try to ignore the mum’s stupid behaviour.

nutbrownhare15 · 28/03/2025 11:50

I think if you can speak up a little it might get her to back off. So say hello to her when she's saying hello to others. When she's rolling her eyes ask her if everything's ok. She's a horrible person though.

Hedonism · 28/03/2025 11:53

She's a twat. Firstly for yelling at your kid, secondly for holding a grudge about something that happened at a 4yo birthday party two weeks ago. Rise above it.

IggyAce · 28/03/2025 11:55

You did nothing wrong, Ignore the other mother. But expect her to be so petty as not to invite your dc to her get dcs party.
Honestly she sounds like the type to complain and blame everyone else for anything that happens to her dc. Feel sorry for the teachers and eventually the child because everyone will eventually not invite her to things because of her DMs behaviour.

Original poster
firsttimemom99x · 28/03/2025 11:58

nutbrownhare15 · 28/03/2025 11:50

I think if you can speak up a little it might get her to back off. So say hello to her when she's saying hello to others. When she's rolling her eyes ask her if everything's ok. She's a horrible person though.

This is what I want to do for sure. And on the way to the school run I really hype myself up .. then I’m a wuss 😂 I just ignore her and pretend it doesn’t bother me, I think it’ll soon fizzle out/she’ll get bored and move on to someone else to have an issue with

OP posts:
Justonemorecoffeeplease · 28/03/2025 12:02

She's a prat and you handled it well. There are many more issues like this to come OP chalk it up to experience and hold your head high. I sometimes feel relieved that due to my working hours I was very rarely able to drop my children off at school and they went to ASC in the afternoon. My husband was in charge in the mornings and to my understanding the whole process was done quickly with very few people talking to him. Mind you he was head to toe in day glow lycra as he cycles to work. 😂

One thing my mum used to advise me in these situations was to 'kill them with kindness' she had a public facing job which meant she had a lot of arseholes to deal with. That way, if this mum continues to be so 'off' she'll look even more of a prat! Good luck.

Frostynoman · 28/03/2025 12:07

I would ask the Mum if she intends to hold a grudge for the next 6/7 years and if they replied yes then I’d laugh and suggest they should find better things to channel their energies in to.

beingstill · 28/03/2025 12:22

She will have bigger fish to fry when her angel gets bigger and can never do wrong.

MyToasterCanLiveAgain · 28/03/2025 12:24

Kill her with kindness. Big hello and how are you when you see her. She will either have to respond in kind or look rude and awkward in front of the other mums.

I.e. if you can be bothered. You haven't done anything wrong. In fact you handled it very well. Certainly much better than she did!!

BaconMassive · 28/03/2025 12:47

Just ask her if she's shouted at any little kids recently?

Endofyear · 28/03/2025 21:15

Honestly I would just ignore her, silly woman. Just chat to the other mums at pick up and get on with your day.

Fancycheese · 28/03/2025 21:25

I would pity her. Imagine having so little going on in your life that a minor falling out between two children, that was resolved, is what’s keeping her up at night. It’s pathetic and I feel sorry for her little girl. I’d just ignore her OP, she’s not worth giving any brain space to.

Badgerandfox227 · 28/03/2025 21:30

I would just keep being yourself and ignore her attempts to make you feel uncomfortable. The other mums will soon realise that she’s not very nice.

JustSawJohnny · 28/03/2025 22:00

I’m a pretty shy/anxious person and I really don’t like confrontation

She's acting like a twat because she thinks you'll put up with it.

Roll your eyes back. When she blanks you, laugh. Tell her straight to grow the feck up.

You absolutely don't have to put up with this petty shit.

Thisisittheapocalypse · 28/03/2025 22:12

She's not worth your time. Ignore her.

Hallebere · 29/03/2025 07:41

I would of gone up to the mom and explained the situation before going to the toilet tbh. To avoid ill feeling. She's overreacted telling your child off and it wasn't really her place but she thought he'd hit her daughter. She clearly not a nice person if she keeps holding a grudge on a 4 year old. I can understand her going OTT in the moment and reflecting after but to carry on her shenanigans is quite frankly ridiculous and immature. Its not as if you didn't correct your son. 4 year olds move on fast and so should we.

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