Think marriage is over. Where do i start

[Sleepdeprivedmamma]

Im a bit all over the place.
im just scared for my children how to make sure they are okay… how to be ok for them
My eldest is 6 shes autistic non verbal with a learning disability - cannot take your eyes off her for a second
Middle one is 3 - nursery suspect he is autistic but he presents very differently to my DD - their dad has adhd and i suspect hes more this way.
and then the baby is 5 months old

how will i be okay?? I know i just have to be but honestly its so hard to cope with DD1 anyway

i dont even know where to start about their dad. If i could type it all you would all basically say leave him immediately.
after another incident this morning hes text to say he will pack a bag and move in with his parents after work i said ok

im currently on mat leave but can only work very limited hours around DDS specialist school hours when i go back to work.

dont have many friends since DD as it was impossible to maintain any social life
family is hard. Dad left when i was a child. Mum is an alcoholic.

Hand hold.

For now, make a short term plan. How will you get through tonight and the weekend? Can you prep some meals now, pjs, outfits etc so that practically you are all taken care of until nursery on Monday?

On Monday, you do the same for the week ahead and on Friday you prep for the weekend. At some point in there you may need to think about Easter holidays plans.

That's all you do. That's plenty. You cope for the month and go gently on yourself and focus on supporting the kids.

Does your employer have any Employee Assistance? Do you have a friend or family member to pop over?

In May, when the kids are back in routine and your feelings have settled, you can think about next steps. Don't agree to anything before them, other than access. In the short term, I'd probably see what he wants (access wise) and let him have it his way as far as reasonably possible. After a month he will give up on showing his best behaviour and you can see where things really fall.

Eta - consider if your finances are safe. I'm sure someone else will come in, particularly if you give more info about whose names stuff is in and what you have joint access to or savings.

You Will all be OK x

Work out what help you can get for your kids.

Look at finances - can you stay in your current home or will you need to move? Speak to council if necessary too.

What custody arrangements do you want? What is realistic and what would work best for your children's needs?

Get a piece of paper and start writing down questions that you need to think about and things you need to discuss and agree with your partner. Answer what you can. Much better to get everything out on a page than in your head.