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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be considering asking this friend to babysit on friday night?

24 replies

tigana · 14/05/2008 13:59

She is basically my only source of babysitting.
Friday would be a particularly good night to be out - 14 years since DH and I got together, plus a few bands I like playing.

But
She has been dealing with some marital rockiness recently due to her work commitments plus a health concern leading to an 'unpleasant' procedure on monday this week.
I didn't feel able to ask her as she has enough on her plate.
Noe as friday nights draws ever closer, my conscientious resolve is wearing thin, and I am wondering if it woudl be so bad to ask.....

Help!?

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 14/05/2008 14:02

Hmmm. I think no, personally. You can go out another time. She needs some tlc I think!

GordontheGopher · 14/05/2008 14:03

Can you find a teenage girl? I've got one who babysits and she's fab.

jasper · 14/05/2008 14:05

No. She should not be put in the difficult position of having to decide whether to say no ( which in itself is stressful)

jasper · 14/05/2008 14:05

I mean yes to being unreasonable!

lisad123 · 14/05/2008 14:06

you can call an angency

booblies · 14/05/2008 14:08

Yep I'm afraid it would be bad to ask, if

she is a good friend she'd probably feel

obliged to do it even if she didn't really

want to. She wil also needing time with her

dh. I know it's not the same but could you

maybe make a night of it in the house

instead ?. Then wait until she hasn't got as

much on her plate and ask her then .

Original poster
tigana · 14/05/2008 14:09

Thank you, my internal moral voice was wavering!

The only teenage girl I know is her daughter - who is out on friday night.

Don't think they do agencies for this where I live.

Will buy myself some chocs and have a consolatory G&T instead...

OP posts:
Original poster
tigana · 14/05/2008 14:10

DH will be out anyway...his is one of the bands playing!

OP posts:
schneebly · 14/05/2008 14:11

I wouldn't ask her personally - could you try sitters or another agency? Does your DS go to nursery? perhaps some of the staff there do babysitting?

I do it but am nowhere near you I am afraid.

WigWamBam · 14/05/2008 14:15

You would come across as rather selfish and uncaring if you asked, I think. She sounds as if she needs a bit of a rest herself.

Sitters are country-wide; if you really have to go out, they would be worth a shot. But give your normal lady a bit of a break.

HonoriaGlossop · 14/05/2008 14:20

why don't you ask her to go with you? Give her a night out and yourself!!

Sod DH - you've been together 14 years, he can wait till another night

Original poster
tigana · 14/05/2008 14:22

Will distract myself with MN instead!
Thank you all for helping steel my resolve - I had been doing so well up to now .

( don't think sitters etc an option - quite apart from cost, not sure they would appreciate ds late bedtime and our rather vocal dog )

OP posts:
MsPontipine · 14/05/2008 14:49

Do you pay her? Is she always keen to do it? Do you think she'd like the money?

I occasionally sit for a neighbour for a bit of money - she's happy to pay and I am pretty desperate for cash. Even if I had a bit on my plate I would still be happy to sit for her - it's a bit of a break away from the usual anyway and she has different dvds to watch. She may be happy to do it.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 14/05/2008 14:56

Tigana I'm sure there must be something locally I'm PL8 and was going to offer till i realise I'm out on friday night too!!

Right off to get the phone book out!!

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 14/05/2008 14:59

Yellowpages have

Sitters 08451991391
Holding the reins 01752 250944

Alternatively to you go to any groups, if so ask.....a helper another mum????

Original poster
tigana · 14/05/2008 15:09

I doubt sitters or others would be happy to entertain my toddler until his (very) late bedtime then go through rigmarole of settling him. The website indicates they sort of expect the child to be in bed or about to go to bed when they arrive. Not a chnace. Rod for my own back!

No, G&T and MN it is!

OP posts:
Original poster
tigana · 14/05/2008 15:09

Thanks though!

OP posts:
HonoriaGlossop · 14/05/2008 15:44

I thought my idea of you going out with HER on Friday was sheer brilliance

obviously no one else did

nametaken · 14/05/2008 15:53

No you can't really ask her after her emotional upset.

You need 2 babysitters as backup. Contact the nearest college to you that does nursery nurse courses and ask if they will let you put a postcard up on their notice board asking for babysitters. These sorts of girls are usually very good and sensible and obviously enjoy working with children.

good luck.

mustsleep · 14/05/2008 16:00

nowshe would be well in her rights to complain if he was like my neighbours son last year and was playing extremeley loudly on her stereo songs with the chorus "suck my mother f dick" and similar things i had ds playing in the garden (he was 3) his mother came out looked at me disaporvingly and said "should he be listening to that shouldn;t he be inside" err no it's one on a sunday

mustsleep · 14/05/2008 16:01

sorry wrong thread

Original poster
tigana · 14/05/2008 16:01

Honoria...fab idea...but...would still have no babysitter for ds...

OP posts:
HonoriaGlossop · 14/05/2008 16:04

DH?

GColdtimer · 14/05/2008 16:04

he is in the band I think

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