My partner and I have been together 10 years. We have 2 kids together 7 and 2 months. I feel like he’s so used to having things done for him he gives the minimum. I do all the cooking, I have to ask him to clean. I have to ask for dates/ romance. Seems like the only thing he will do without needed to be asked is take the garbage.
I work remotely and went back to work when our son was 6 weeks. He stays home with me and some days are ok but I’m finding myself getting really pissed with my partner. I’ve been putting in 10 / 11 hour days and when I get off I still have to cook dinner and bathe our son because he says it makes him uncomfortable 🥴.
In the past we had issues with him not helping out enough and we’re back there. When I get a free moment from work I take care or housework/kids and he says to me “you have 2 eyes you see I’m here if you want to do everything on your own I will let you”. Sorry but I’m not asking a fucking grown man to get up and wash dishes, pick up after himself etc.
Last week after a long shift I cooked,got our sons ready for bed,fixed everyone’s plate and ate. After eating he put his plate on the nightstand and rolls over to go to sleep. Dishes are in the sink, bottles needed to be washed. Usually I take his trash when we finish eating but I’ve already done enough. I decided to leave his plate there and it sat there until we woke up the next morning. I have repeatedly asked him not to do that, but he continues.
Yesterday while I had a moment I washed bottles , dishes, our son school cup and made him a sandwich for lunch. My partner did nothing until I was done. The work was over all he had to do was dry the dishes. I try not to get upset but when I see things around the house he could have done but chose to sit on the couch I can’t hide how upset I am.
Last night after work I had to run out for 45 minutes. I told him before I left I would wash our son when I got back home. When I returned he sat down in the room and begging eating….im still up cleaning the kitchen and baby boy was in his swing. I had to pick out clothes, fill the tub and fix his bassinet sheets WHILE HE JUST FUCKING SAT THERE. He didn’t even bring our son in the room That shit pisses me off.
By the time I got our 2 month old situated and helped our 7 y.o get ready for bed. I still needed a shower and to eat. Which some night I just don’t do because I’m so damn tired. He works also and I get he’s tired but so am I. He can clearly see things need to be done and will wait until I’ve completed it and then says”I would have cleaned it if you asked”. You’re an adult why the hell do I have to ask you to help out.
I could ask him to do these things but he can clearly see things need to be done and if I don’t”open my mouth” as he says it won’t get done. I love him but I’m not asking this grown man to get up and help me out. When things are good I think it’s because I just take care of it all on my own and don’t complain. But some days I just feel like he doesn’t respect what I say and it causes me to just stay to myself.
I may sound exhausting but I feel like I’m taking care of 3 kids and one is an adult.