Sleep training 3 year old

[MrsWaltonGoggins]

Asking for some advice.

We’ve been too soft on 3 year old and he refuses to sleep in his own bed. My husband’s been on the sofa for the last 3 years and I miss him and I’ve had enough now.

3 year old is very stubborn and strong willed and just screams if I out him in his bed. I don’t really want to leave him to cry but I’m at my last nerve now.

Currently sat on a beanbag in his room while he screams at me because he wants to go into my bed. Been doing this for half an hour now. Really need some advice!

Consistency unfortunately is the only way and it usually starts hard and then gets easier and then just as you think you cracked it they have a little regression and you feel like your starting again, but the regression is usually much quicker to improve just to reassure you. They will also regress when sick or unsettled due to routines being mucked up for holidays.

When mine were 3 I would see the best impact by telling them they are being grown up sleeping in their own beds and maybe do a reward chart for sleeping in their own bed with a prize each week. I also love my Tonies box for helping them go to sleep.

I was strict from babies though which helps so I wish you good luck and it will get better you just need to be stronger willed than the 3 year old which feels impossible at times!

Would the disappearing chair work?

So I can get him off to sleep in his Ben but he then wakes several times a night and it means going in and sitting with him again until he goes back to sleep. I have to be up at 5am for work which is why I’ve been having him back in bed with me as I’m just too tired to be up every couple of hours. I’m not sure what to do.

My 5.5yr old does this and it's never stopped fully but has certainly reduced and he gets older

Accept that it's going to take a concerted effort to get him to sleep in his own bed. If you give in when he screams and shouts then you are teaching him that it will work and he will get his own way by screaming.

Can you lie down with him in his own bed? I would start with that and then gradually move to being sat on the bed, sat on the floor and then being upstairs pottering about. It takes time and patience and persistence but it will work. If he wakes in the night, go in and say 'it's time for sleep' and sit beside him to settle him. Repeat as needed. The first few nights will be hell - then it will gradually get easier. Maybe you could book annual leave for a couple of days? Take turns with DH - it's important that you both do bedtime and settling in the night - it shouldn't all be down to you.

What I did was always start them off in their own bed. I'd lie with them til they were asleep then leave. At some point they would come in with us in the night. Over time they would come in later and later and then started sleeping through. My six year old now comes though one night in 3 and 9 year old never does.

There is short term pain, but you have to be more determined than he is!
Watch Supernanny - she gives masterclasses in this stuff.

He woke up screaming every hour 🥲 I will try again tonight.

You need to keep persisting, it'll be worth it in the long term.