You don't need a day to thank your mum and/or dad

[notedbiscuits]

I always thank both of my parents every day. It does not require a day to do this.

It's nicer to randomly buy flowers, chocolates etc. Same goes for Father's Day with drink, socks, sweets/chocolate.

I have noticed restaurants for MD are doing similar things to Valentine's Day - limited menu and more expensive than normal.

Some people go really OTT with MD. If I buy anything, even a card, I get told off.

My DH sorts my gift as DS is only 6 but I think it sets him a good example. Being taken for granted by your partner and kids eats away at family life.

On people being upset - it's unfortunate but how far do we go with this? Ban Valentines Day as it upsets single people? Ban office closures and paid leave on bank holidays because some people have to work them?

So what? It’s not legally mandated; take part or don’t, it’s your business.

Restaurants have a reduced menu? Smart decision! Gordon Ramsay says it’s the busiest Sunday in the year for restaurants; having a reduced menu is a practical solution to producing good food at an increased rate.

More expensive? That’s supply and demand for you. If you have 200 customers wanting 120 seats, you can charge more, which subsidises your business on less busy days.

You can text your mum to send your love, give her a bunch of daffodils, take her out for lunch or treat her to a spa day costing £££ - and of course ignore it altogether. Your level of engagement is up to you.

The loss of my mother, suddenly and unexpectedly, doesn’t mean I want to piss on the chips of other mothers being made a fuss of.

As @Stompythedinosaur says - until we live in a society that values the endless unpaid labour of mothers, a single day of focused appreciation among 365 isn’t much to ask.

Well that depends on if you think Jesus is real.

Other people with real birthdays should be celebrated on that day. Mothers day is a completely made up day.

Bet you love buying stuff for christmas though.

All celebrated days are “made up”.

Mother’s Day in the U.K. has its roots in Mothering Sunday in the church.

I don’t have a religion so I ignore that part and stick to the tea-in-bed-and-a-card-made-at-school model, myself.

All holidays are “made up” though aren’t they? There are Christian roots to Mother’s Day.

I would truly love to know how often people who whinge about Mother’s Day, Valentines etc actually do send cards/flowers to their loved ones the other 364 days of the year.

There are so many grim things happening in the world, why are we getting upset about spending a day celebrating the people in our lives?

I stopped acknowledging the parent days as a child, due to my parents' severe corporal punishment of me, and I have never acknowledged the celebrations since. Fine for others to do this if they like - DH always signs his card to his mum from both of us, which I am happy with as I have a lovely MIL.

I agree with you about the hike in prices, also buying cards and expensive gifts. But I’ve never seen it as a day to thank them, more a day for them to be off duty and spoiled. I suppose that could all be done on their birthday 🤷🏻‍♀️

You ALWAYS thanks BOTH your parents EVERY day? That sounds a bit odd. Enmeshed and codependent. Unless you mean symbolically.

All holidays are “made up” though aren’t they? There are Christian roots to Mother’s Day.

It was about returning to your “mother church” where you were baptised.

i always managed to both…

Mothers’ Day cards always bring me a pang of sadness but the world doesn’t revolve around me.

I really enjoy Fathers Day every year. Its not so much about being thanked, I just really enjoy getting out and spending a day with DD doing something we both enjoy. Its something that becomes less frequent once they hit their teens and have their own social lives so it does make it a bit special.

I lost my Mum a few years ago, she died the day after Mothers day, but we sat watching her deteriorate on Mothers day itself. So I do get why it can make some people sad, but that doesn't mean that everyone else should have to stop celebrating it. I still buy a box of my Mums favourite chocolates every year for my Mum, I just munch on them myself these days.

Doing things on Mother's Day doesn't mean people can't/don't also do things for their parents the rest of the year round. I send my mum little random gifts all year round, take her out when I can, and I tell I love her etc. But I know Mother's Day is still important to her so I always get her a card and a present and I/we try to take her for a meal somewhere.

This year my brother and I are going to take her out for dinner on the Saturday and then we'll give her cards, a present and some flowers on the Sunday itself. She will absolutely love it and she'll feel special and she'll proudly tell her friends that we made an effort for her. DP can't be with his mum as he has to go overseas for work for a few days, but he's sending a card and a nice bouquet and MIL is having lunch with SIL and BIL.

It's fine if you don't want to do anything - up to you and I doubt anyone else cares. But YABU to suggest that nobody should or to imply that people who make a big deal of Mother's Day don't also show their love and gratitude for the rest of the year.

Some Mumsnetters are so weird about other people's choices to celebrate things. It's like they expect a medal for refusing to spend £3 on a greetings card.

I'm all for it. I've sacrificed my pelvic floor, core muscles and sanity being a mother. I want a day that's all about me and my children can tell me how great I am. You do you.

They can also tell me on other days too, I'm happy to spread it out over the year.

That's obviously sad for her. But someone's personal bereavement doesn't mean the rest of the world shouldn't carry on as normal. All sorts of things can be upsetting for all sorts of reasons, and we all live with that.

Yep, and this is why we don’t do it, or any such days. Much prefer mutual appreciation showed all year round than forced sincerity on this front for one day.

If others want to throw money at Hallmark et al, why am I to care though, they can knock themselves out, no skin off my nose at all.

Mothers Day isn't about thanking your mother anyway, it's origins are based on Mothering Sunday when employers used to give their servants the day off to visit their 'Mother' church. This generally meant visiting their home village so the tradition grew into visiting their mother at home as well.

You can’t force sincerity, it’s an oxymoron.

Kids (and dads) tend to be so used to mums doing everything, they take us for granted. A day each year drawing their attention to us is a good thing. I can’t see that it does you any harm, either.