mother of my child & partner

[anonymous0001]

I dont know if im being unreasonable or if i have my expectations set to high, but i find myself getting very frustrated with my partner with the way she handles our son. The case of just letting him get her breasts out for a feed at his own choice, letting him sleep in our bed when he wakes in a night, and just letting him do things she should say no to, such as climbing over the sofa to get to the window sill. It is tough as he wont take a bottle so i cannot really help too much when he wakes on a night, however the case seems to be feeding him instantly then him coming into our bed, am i wrong in believing he should use his own bedroom and learn to sleep in there. i understand it is tough for women, however i am just looking for a little advice.I just feel like everything is done the easy way, making it harder long term.

Almost correct.

At home they can yes.

Your 6yo is still breastfed?

Feeding a 1 year old on demand - normal

Baby coming into your bed - get used to it, he's going to do that for a while yet. I can't remember what age mine were when they stopped, but definitely older than 5.

Climbing on furniture - if it's unsafe then that's a no and you need to reinforce that.

At 6?!

Do you know anything about child development and normal infant behaviour OP? Breastfeeding on demand is what human babies are designed to do, we’re mammals. Likewise sleeping with parents. Your baby is normal, your partner is doing the best thing she can meeting his normal baby needs.

As he’s used to being bf and cosleeping I agree that having a night away from him is unrealistic at this point but it doesn’t mean she’s doing anything wrong day to day. They’re not little for long, you’ve got decades ahead you can have nights away.

You are new to parenting. I understand why you are expressing your thoughts and it's a shame some folk have bashed you for it. Firstly, good on mummy for breastfeeding for a year. It is hard work, especially at the beginning. I am sure you are both exhausted still at this new family dynamic.

I don't think it is unreasonable to hope that at 1 year old the child is starting to be moved into its own bedroom, as by now, they will also be on solid food and not wholly dependant on milk for their nourishment. In an ideal world, they would be sleeping through the night at this age.

Apart from the comfort of the breast, you are an equal parent in all other aspects of raising and nurturing your child. Be the daddy and maybe have a discussion about how you both agree on guiding your child, teaching your child and keeping them safe. Keep communication open, honest and respectful - you are both still learning and navigating your way.

Why on earth?

And milk should not be a one year old’s main source of nutrition.

Why do weird posts always have a poster name beginning with “user”?

At one years old they would have limited understanding of what is socially expected of them.
They also only hear the last one or two words. So if you say don't climb sofa, they'll hear climb sofa.
Instead you could distract with what's daddy doing over here?
Or feed on carpet.
But children need to engage their core muscles to help with being continent. So climbing is very important.
What could you provide within your home for your child to climb on instead?
People bed share. From your infants point of view, you're in bed with mum - why can't they?

The only thing you are reasonable about is not letting him climb to the windowsill. I mean WTF??? He's one??? Can't you help with boundaries???

Rest of it, completely unreasonable. Guessing you want the bed and the boobs back for your own needs. Aw shucks.

You have a child now. Time to grow up.

Indeed

Yes. 6. I've just said that.

Because she wants to. I can do what I want with my body. That's the whole point.

Sorry?

There seems to be a lot going on here.

1. Don’t tell your partner she is some sort of slack mother for feeding your child.
2. He will stop bf when he’s ready, and it sounds like he is being put to sleep in his own room.
3. It comes across that you want her to do the discipline, but that she needs to do it to your style. Is that fair? It seems that you see getting him to stay in bed is her job, and you just give her feedback when it fails to happen to your expectations.
4. If you are really strict, given to shouting then yes, she will react against that.
5. You can remove him from the sofa/window sill, without using it as a stick to tell your partner that she’s sub-standard.

Doing things the easy way, is in no way making things harder in the future.You can go through the pain when your child is ready, or through pain continuously until your child is ready.

You do come across as quite the disciplinarian, which will not make for a happy home- in either the short or long term.

user9632579 · Yesterday 12:00

MrsSkylerWhite · Yesterday 11:05
Why do weird posts always have a poster name beginning with “user”?

Sorry?

Out there posts with extreme opinions frequently have a poster with a name beginning with User. Breast feeding a 6 year old is extreme.

Which extreme opinion have I expressed here?