To ask for a hand hold/virtual hug..

[Bonbailey1721]

I’ve been unwell since this time last year. It started around Easter so I’m actually finding the nicer weather really triggering.

it started with chest pain, upper stomach pain, loss of appetite, acid, nausea and raised platelets in blood. Lost loads of weight.

Ive had endoscopy, more bloods, CT scans, X-rays, seen specialists. Nothing. All they can think is that it’s some form of post viral gastroparesis.

before all this I was a 36 year old mother of 2, with a job, a good relationship, friends, a social life. Happiness.

i convinced myself it must be cancer. So must so I was put into a mental hospital over last summer.

My husband put my 3 year old in full time nursery, I gave up my job as I couldn’t do it, when I try to leave the house I get massive panic attacks. I feel so dizzy I can’t drive.

I’ve lost 2 of my best friends, my dad who was my main support has recently stopped speaking to me. I’ve got nothing. I often think I wouldn’t mind if I went to sleep and didn’t wake up. My mums a big drinker so I lost her a while ago.

Doctors have all but given up on me said they’ve done loads of investigating and tried medications and nothing has worked.

im sat on my own with the dog in my dressing gown crying, my upper stomach hurts, im dizzy as hell, I’ll be lucky if I manage a bowl of cereal today.

how do I get out of this hell?

Sounds like how my chronic illness started when I was 15. They eventually diagnosed me with M.E/C.F.S after a few years (despite trying to explain that fatigue wasnt the core problem, I'm fatigued yes but because of all the symptoms) and did nothing more for me. I'm 36 now, and I just have to live with it (and a bunch of mental health issues developed since on top.)

I've had more opinions from different medical professionals more recently. I don't know if either will help you.

One states that they are physical symptoms of anxiety, and related to autism. They think I am autistic and coped up until high school, which is when I stopped coping and started living in a constant state of high arousal/anxiety.

Another medical professional thinks the physical symptoms are a manifestation of my CPTSD after abuse in childhood.

I have no idea. All I know is that I just get diagnosed with different forms of anxiety every time I try and report a physical problem to the doctors (could this be why mental health conditions are over diagnosed I wonder?).

My best advice is please get out of the house. I know it's unpleasant. Please, any chance you can, just a walk down the road and back. I ended up not leaving the house for around 10 years and it messed me up even further.