Constructive one liners required

[NotLikeTheOthers]

Can you help please? I’ve got a meeting in a few hours with a senior manager who’s known for being rude and patronising. Not anything reportable, just makes you feel stupid and on the back foot. I don’t want to piss them off by being confrontational about it, because they’re the type to also make your life difficult, but equally I need to very politely set a ‘don’t talk to me like that’ boundary, with a smile. “Are you meaning to be rude” is too accusatory. Is there anything else I can say?

“I see things differently” may be helpful if you need to challenge.

Sorry you have to deal with this crappy leader. They sound awful.

Articulate some key complexity or have it ready when patronised, and do not be batted down. This type gets thrown only by realising that your understanding vastly exceeds theirs, at which point they can become your biggest supporter. Throw the complexity back into highly specific questions that you know are not yet fully answerable, but where your follow-up response can suggest actions to figure that out.

Examples
"I appreciate your general point is true, however there are a number of exceptions to take into account such as X and Y. What is your proposal for how we manage those?"
"That's a great overview thanks, what would be useful next is for us to discuss the complexity in balancing the conflicting needs of X and Y. Clearly we can't have both, so which one is the priority?"
"That simplification is useful, but it leaves us wide open to counter-arguments X and Y, how will we answer those?"
"I can see the appeal in option A, but I estimate it will cost us £50m ROI over 3 years compared with option B, so I'm struggling to understand why we don't explore option B further. Could you explain it for me please?"

You seem to have misunderstood
We appear to differ on this would you like me to elaborate
or silence until they speak…..
Good luck

Was thinking about this yesterday in a different context (ie not work) because a person in one of my social groups is very bitchy and often asks pointed questions that I would like to smoothly deflect without giving her the satisfaction of a reaction

Say "That's a funny thing to be curious about."
Then immediately divert: "Oh speaking of curious, did you guys see [ New Zealand's fish of the year, it is just so ugly, look at it] / [they planted 1800 trees in Finchley in one day as part of an ecology project. I wish they'd do that in X, wouldn't it be lovely for the schools...] / [those US Signal messages, WTF is going on there?]"

It really depends on what's being said.

"What a odd thing to say" is my favourite.
"Why did you phrase it that way?" in a curious tone.

Ross Geller them...."ANYWAY"

‘Now that’s a really interesting point of view, isn’t it?’
Works every time. Add quizzical look and move on.

"Could you offer some constructive feedback", with a very slight emphasis on the word constructive.

"Hmm. It's a dilemma, isn't it?

Do we save £50 by doing X or do we build customer loyalty by Y?"

“Could I finish please?” is very useful. These types always interrupt you when they decide they don’t like what you’re saying or think they already know better. If he talks over you, say this right back over him, each and every time. He won’t like it, but it’s impossible to complain about, because it’s a perfectly polite turn of phrase, and it’s perfectly reasonable to ask to be allowed to complete your sentence.

‘Is it my turn now?’ also helps. It’s a bit playground, but it works a treat!

Keeping these. 😃