Pictures on phone

[suspiciousqueen]

DH went for drinks after work and got back an hour ago. Tipsy to say the least but he bought back doner kebab and chips for us to share and we had a nice convo. All good until we go upstairs to bed, he's already settled in and on his phone. I need something from his bedside table and notice he's looking at a photo he's taken of a woman whilst on tube back home. I ask him to show me and he does. I tell him why the fuck would you take a photo of someone random, he spouts bs that she was looking at him weird. Ok, so why take the photo?? I ask to see what other photos he's took and he refuses and gets loud. Kids are asleep so I'm not doing this. I get into bed as I don't want him deleting anything if I go bathroom!
So now I'm lying in bed waiting for him to go to sleep so I can go for a wee! What the actual fuck.

Aibu if I look through his phone...

Did you check for archived & deleted photos/chats?

Well something is definitely off with this Sylvia as I looked through his phone again and he's deleted the missed call he gave her...and the video n photo of the random women.

He must be worried that I was going to ask him to see his phone. Why delete only that call log? He still has her in his contacts.
Don't even know why I'm posting as I feel totally different towards him. I don't even want to have it out with him as I'll probably just live my life separate to him as much as I can as long as it doesn't affect family dynamics.

Look at a later date, then look in his recently deleted files.

That's what I'll do. What if I messaged her from his phone pretending to be him and just say hi great chat the other day....and see what she replies??

You can do I guess, but I think you have enough to warrant a serious chat. He sounds like a pest, regardless of this other woman, his behaviour is not ok. Do you have daughters? Ask him how do you think he would feel knowing a man has videos/photos of his daughter in this way.

Do you have kids @suspiciousqueen ?

Honestly, I never usually go with the LTB stuff but this is unforgivable.

A man who thinks it’s okay to violate a woman’s privacy/dignity/body by filming them without them knowing is not capable of respecting you.

This to me is actually worse than cheating because it shows how he views women in general.

He’s a pig - you definitely deserve better.

They’re XY, not X+Y

Why? What difference would it make?

He is a creepy weirdo, you don’t need to know anymore.

Could X+Y be sexy? SeX+Y?

Whatever it means you need answers OP, you will torture yourself with scenarios in your mind if not.

I would find it hard to trust without knowing the truth so make that clear.

What are your plans if you discover your DH isn’t who your thought he was? I think you need to build a leaving strategy, you deserve more then this.

The sad thing is that I've seen that he's messaging another woman from past. We had it out last year and he said he'll cut all ties but it now seems they're back in touch. It's a big blow as I know our marriage is over for sure now.
We have children and I don't want to disrupt their lives by living separately. For starters I'm a sahm and apart from him I'm happy with my life.
If I have it out with him now nothing will change except a toxic atmosphere in home which will affect kids more than me. So I'm going to co habit and co parent with him and just live my life. It's the only thing I can do.