17 month old started being weird with her dad ?

[Ellamaee]

Hi , posting here hoping for some advice and if this is normal .
my daughter is 17 months , me and my ex co parent 50/50 and usually she would go to him easily no problem when he picked her up but the last 2 times he’s picked her up she is hysterically crying , reaching out for me not wanting to go to him . I will add also she’s only recently started being extremely clingy to me , I live with my mum and she used to go to my mum now if I’m in the room she only wants me , won’t go to my mum now either unless I leave the room (after she screams for me) is this normal behaviour? I don’t want to think her dad is mistreating her but I don’t think he would and there’s no signs of anything physical . But I am wondering why she’s very very clingy to me
hoping this make sense and a mama can help me out ! Breaking my heart when she leaves

The fact she is doing same to your mum is reassuring. It is normal and if treating your mum the same way it suggests she is clingy to you just now rather than she wants him.

For hèavens' sake! Try and keep things in proportion. The OP came here concerned and now she's having to read about the worst type of family crisis.

Edited for typo

17 month olds can be weird with anyone. It’s normal.

My DH lives here and our 16 month old does this to him! She acts like she hardly knows him sometimes, bless him. Just a phase

She’s doing it to your mum too but you aren’t concerned she’s mistreating her??

Please ignore the massive over-reactor.

My DS is exactly the same. Everything is completely normal at home, nothing has changed, both parents acting the same but he’s going through a phase where he absolutely will not even look at anybody but me, won’t go to his dad or even say the word Daddy. It’s quite normal I think, I’m desperately waiting for the ‘Daddy’ phase so I can wee in peace without a meltdown!

I notice the 'similar threads' bar is filled with very... similar threads. I doubt many of them have replies encouraging the OP to call in social services.

Wow over reaction.

@Ellamaee
Mum of 3 children here. 2 went though a clingy phase 1 didn't. However I had to watch the 1 that didn't like a hawk as they had no sense of stranger danger. Other 2 fine.
As PP have suggested can you do hand over outside.
Look on it this way you are re-enforceing that tantrums won't get her her own way.
Good Luck OP parenthood is a weird and wonderful thing.

Very normal, especially with you being separated. My DS is a similar age and had a phase of only wanting dad, but also now has times where he only wants me and generally if either of us are leaving will get upset. He loves us both to pieces but will act like whoever is staying isn’t good enough until the door is shut and then he’s absolutely fine.

my SS (who is autistic to add to the complication) is often like this when leaving his mom, but adores his dad too, it’s just that he’s always upset leaving his mom. It’s hard because she’s tried to use it to signify mistreatment and this couldn’t be further from the truth but mom is a Disney mom who gives him all the sugar snacks and tv he wants and also uses ‘I’ll leave without you’ as a threat to get him to behave. So I totally disagree with posters suggesting it’s a sign of abuse, sometimes kids want to choose an easy life, but that doesn’t always mean they’re choosing the better option.

Completely normal behaviour at this age. Upsetting for you I understand but try and be pragmatic. Handover with a cheerful smile and hope that the phase doesn't last too long

This is a very normal stage, called separation anxiety. It happened with all of mine, they would cry if I left them at home with Dad (all live together.) it's probably quite a tricky age to have 50/50 care. Not saying he hasn't done anything, but it's so common for all babies at this age, even when they live with both parents, to have a very strong preference for one parent.

Her son probably doesn’t dare hug her in case she logs it with 101.

Absolutely and completely.

I’d be informing a social worker now and making a list of upset incidents, and looking at asking for supervised contact only for now. See a solicitor.

Social work aren’t going to be remotely interested in a wholly natural developmental process. Do you think we spend our days just waiting for a clingy child report?