To ask how your only-child DCs entertain themselves?

[StolenChanel]

DS is not an only child - he’s 9 and DD is 15. As she’s gotten older, she plays with him less and less. I play with DS but I’m obviously not as “fun” as DD and he misses playing with her all the time. DH bought a PS5 for the entire house last Christmas and if DS had it his way, he’d be playing on that during all the times that DD isn’t playing with him, which obviously I don’t allow to happen. He plays on it in small doses but has a strop every time he’s not allowed.

Do I need to think of alternative ways for him to play on his own during the times DH, DD and I are out / busy doing household things or working. So how do your only child 9YOs play?

I was an only child and at 9 I watched A LOT of TV and loved comics ❤️

My only DS reads a lot and likes Lego. Obviously loves gaming as well, and will FaceTime friends to play Minecraft together too. When he was your DS age it was on the family iPad but he’s older now and still does it but uses his own phone to yell instructions on. Initially it took a bit of parental facilitating when they didn’t have their own devices but once set up they were pretty independent at arranging times.

Only child…. Books…card games with me …. Minecraft… sometimes on calls with friends…. Lots of clubs rugby, cubs, swimming etc

My on DC’s favourite way of amusing himself at that age was to whinge incessantly at me to play with him, then no matter how much time I gave him he’d whinge some more 😁

Any neighbourhood kids to play with? They were our lifesaver at times. Other than that I tried to encourage reading, Lego, drawing. He’d call friends and play Roblox/minecraft too.

Loads of lego
Electric circuit kit
Various educational "build your own..." kits
Get him a rasberry pi and set him off learning how to code

Swap Shop, Saturday Superstore, Terry and June - and sitcoms in same vein …am I showing my age … 🤣?

At that age ds was still playing with toys, he liked model planes and his toy airport, also played a lot with his electric train sets. Oh and the trampoline was a God send! He spent hours on that. But he always played well by himself. You are right to limit the games console. We are also lucky to live on a quiet estate so ds could go out on his bike, or to kick his football safely.

Thank you for your tips everyone! It would be so much easier if we had a garden - I’d just send him out with a football or trampoline! I tried to get him into Lego but it’s just not his vibe. I don’t think he has the patience for it. I might get some of his Lego out before he gets home from school and be halfway through building something for him to finish - that might encourage him!

Raspberry Pi is a good shout - I had forgotten about that. DD loved it at his age. Scratch too!

I don't remember my DS ever being bored.
He used to love lego and other construction toys, playing imaginative games with his cars and garages and train sets etc. He absolutely loved playing with his transformers.Admittedly he had a LOT of toys. He also from a young age used to do stuff like making out time tables, doing football statistics etc.

He used to like to do his own thing and I had to encourage him to go out and play if children who lived nearby called for him to play with them. He did enjoy spending time with his friendship group from school who had shared interests but they lived further away so that required arranging.

Games consoles weren't ever an issue for him and certainly not at such a young age.

@DesperateDenise I don’t think I remember DD being bored when she was an only child either. I think growing up with an older sibling who was, until recently, always happy to play has made him less independent than most only-children.

As for the gaming, I think that’s testament to the times we’re in. I try to limit it as much as possible but all of his friends play online together and I don’t want him to feel he’s missing out, so I try to find some balance. It’s that balance that’s becoming trickier and trickier though as I’m struggling to find alternatives that he’ll actually want to do.

He used to play outside with the children on our estate but some of them are quite rough and, while he’s no angel himself, I think he was feeling a bit intimidated and asks me to say he’s not allowed out when they knock for him nowadays.

I’ll try pushing the Lego/construction type toys again. These seem to be the most popular suggestion.

Not an only child but might as well have been.

Guitar(spent hours at this)
Drawing in a little sketchbook
Books
Yu-Gi-Oh cards/Pokémon cards/FIFA cards (I went through phases for all of them)🤦 basically just getting them out, ordering them and telling anyone who would listen everything I knew about them (which was not a lot to be honest)
Making things and 'science experiments' (much to my mother's dismay)
Digging huge holes in the garden (again to my mother's dismay)
Handstands,jumping off things,and mildly dangerous party tricks
At 9 I was also at the park a lot with friends on scoreboards/bikes/scooters/ball
I'm pretty sure I also played with teddies from time to time (in secret)
TV for sure

Reading, Barbies, playing in the garden (trampoline & mud kitchen), Nintendo Switch, tablet, scooter, bike, Lego, drawing and colouring, setting up elaborate role play games with teddies, even the Ikea kitchen is still heavily in use (she’s nearly 8), lots of arranged play dates with friends both from school and from other activities.

It’ll be harder for a child who hasn’t developed the skills around independent play because they’ve always had an older sibling but this presumably must happen to pretty much all children at some point. I can remember really resenting having to hang around with my siblings all the time once I was about 9 and being desperate for time to play alone or with the friends I’d chosen for myself!

My son is almost 9 and has an older sister who 'also' suddenly isn't keen to play with him. He's definitely feeling the difference!

He does like lego and reading comics and such, he plays out with a few local friends as much as we let him, my husband is getting him into coding with something on his laptop (video game adjacent but at least educational!) and he has recently enjoyed a block of ukelele lessons so he messes around with that sometimes. He does need a lot more social engagement than his sister ever did so it is hard to figure it out sometimes. We tend to leave him to get a bit bored for a while and then take turns spending a bit of time with him - he's just gotten more interested in baking so he does that with his sister or me, etc.

It is hard for kids who were born with a built in playmate to adjust!

What about inviting his school friends round? Mine have siblings (4 boys aged between 13 and 6) and they do play together some of the time, but given the choice they all much prefer to have their friends over.

Mine does lego. All the time. Those lego books help- with ideas of what to make. He is better at sticking with it if has tv in background or audio book or music. He doesn't do PlayStation though - so hard to get them to do anything once that's an option they know about..I've also got older kids and I'm now holding off the video games etc for as long as possible as I've seen how it really changes their attitude to playing....

My son's 9 (nearly 10) and an only child - and I was too, so I remember complaining about boredom a lot. He will always ask if he can game or watch TV, but if the answer's no he reads a lot, gets Lego out, and plays outside in the garden. He's happiest when his grandma is here and will join in with his games for hours and hours!

I agree. I really wish the PlayStation had never been bought!

I'm a very happy only child and so is my DD aged 11. She doesn't have a phone or screen.

She absolutely loves reading, drawing, painting; any arts or crafts. Lego still a huge hit. Plays in the garden, football, hula hoop. Sewing.

Writes stories, a diary. Always seems to be beetling about doing something creative. Today was octopus loom bands.