To be annoyed by colleagues referring to We and They to avoid taking ownership?

[Biggerbucket]

They have never told me… I am waiting for them to tell me…
We should be doing this…

Who they? Who we? How about I need to find out? I will take a lead on exploring my suggestion?

I am so fed up of people in relatively well paid roles having zero agency and drive…

Part of my early training in a customer-facing role was that you don't talk about the matter in the first person. So 'I am unable to...' becomes 'We are unable to...'.

If you work in a team, it's normal to talk about your work as a team (We).

You seem bitter.

I am bitter @JustTalkToThem because this is attitude of managers in other departments, and their lack of drive affects my team’s morale, as they see no action / attempts to improve things that affect them.

I have spent last two years coaching my team to step up and take lead on team tasks they are experts in, they are brilliant. But I feel like nobody else outside our unit gives a toss.

Maybe they don't give toss?

We're all just tiny cogs in a big wheel and whilst the wheel's turning, no-one really cares what keeps it that way.

I had recently went through an 18month process a situation working with someone like this. No agency, responsibility, or accountability. I sat tight and played their game. I replied to their emails same day (or next day at the latest) then waited 2 or 3 weeks for a response. i waited for an opportunity and it was the best thing I could have done.
"You keep referring to "we", can you please confirm who has seen this (document containing sensitive information)?”
"could you please confirm that all my personal details were redacted?"
"They weren't? That's problematic".

It took 18 months of them screwing me about and then GDPR came to bite them in the bum. They were investigated for multiple failures throughout the process by an independent party and their sheer incompetence was plain for all to see. It didn't end well for them.

My advice, bide your time. Remain respectful. Be efficient, take responsibility yourself. See every correspondence as adding to the email chain. If they try and fob you verbally follow up with. "Thanks, could you please put that down in writing".

I always laugh with that and reply, do you mean the "royal we", who is we? Do you mean you? Especially in the meeting if it's an action. Get a name.

I never use I as I dont want to blame anyone else even if they are totally at fault

@Tbrh Very cool. Are you the boss or a confident peer?

I’ll often use we as a way to include others so that it’s not me taking all the credit for something, or as pp said so as not to blame one person.

I speak like this to everyone, even the CEO, respectfully of course, always have. I've always been respected in my roles, even when I was junior because I'm always nice and friendly so likeable, but people also know that I'm not a pushover and I get things done. I'm short and always looked young for my age so people often try and take advantage, so maybe it's been a response to that.