To feel let down by therapist

[Alifemoreordinary123]

Engaged a therapist for my DC who is 8. The first two sessions (one week apart) were with me (not with my DC). Session 3 was with my child. At the end of the session, therapist asked my DC whether they were happy to see her again (they were) and said to me ‘I’ll give you a call to sort another date’. Fine with me, she had another appointment and it was easier than rooting around comparing diaries. 6 days passed, no call. So I emailed her, she replied and we set another date (a week later) - meaning two weeks had passed between appointments. At the end of session 4 she suggested a call with me to discuss her thoughts and plan moving forward (particularly as I already had a session booked with school which she knew about). Said she’d be in touch to arrange. Again, another week passed without her getting in touch so I emailed and sorted a call (session 5). We had the call and agreed she would see my DC after her holiday and that I would email suitable dates - I emailed later that evening. That was a month ago and I’ve had absolutely nothing back. No email, no text as an active client, nothing.

This is a highly qualified, regulated and expensive therapist who came highly recommended and for whom I’m paying for privately.

AIBU to be really cross about this given a vulnerable 8 year old is in the middle of it, or are my expectations too high?

Thats really unprofessional and unhelpful. I would send a very direct and clear email setting out how unacceptable that is.

If you want to keep her, you'll have to accept how she does things. If you aren't fussed, tell her that you want to schedule the next session before you leave due to the lack of contact. She may just drop you though. There's no lack of work at the moment. Maybe she is only responding when she actually has space.

No that’s not ok. Apart from the unprofessional behaviour, your son isn’t getting into the routine of seeing her. He’ll effectively be starting from scratch each session. I’d find someone who can see him weekly at least initially.

@Confrontayshunme fair, it’s possible the case isn’t the right fit (though it’s pretty complex so I would have thought interesting) or that she’s slammed.

Unprofessional and really damaging for someone who needs the help.

I've had some therapy and thinking back I think we always booked my next appt at the end of each appt.

Absolutely shocking behaviour. How could anyone enter into anything remotely sensitive with someone so unreliable. Shoddy. Not even getting the basics right. Therapeutic rapport ruined. Nope.

Everything about this goes against the BACP ethical framework. They are not professional and they aren't maintaining the standards expected of them by the profession. Ditch them and get someone else. Have you seen their qualifications and are they on the BACP register or similar? You should complain about them if they are.

Thanks for your replies. It’s the lack of routine (for me and them) that feels important. The chasing has also been irritating.

It’s extremely important. Probably the first things therapist learns. The basics. Don’t spend a penny more.

Sounds like either she isn’t interested in working with your DC or she is too busy or disorganised.
Either way, it isn’t helpful for your DC so you should cut your loses and find a new therapist.
It seems very unusual in my experience to not be arranging the next appointment after each session.

Therapists don't do therapy for just "being interesting", they do it for money.

Her conduct is unprofessional anyway. If she has no time (and it may well be so as the demand is overwhelming), she should have said so and refer you to someone else.

My 11 yo saw a therapist privately and we had to wait until she'd finished with a patient as she schedules all new patients an a standing basis, eg Wednesday at 3pm for 8 weeks. It sounds bonkers to me not to have at least the next 2 appointments set out.