Shouted at in office - should I say something?

[ANeverNeedyEverLovelyJewel]

I won't go into the details but I am in a semi senior role (think Head of HR). Today, a more senior member of staff (think VP) marched over to my desk and shouted at me in front of the whole office. Regardless of the crime (there wasn't one, I made a throwaway comment to a member of her team and she got the wrong end of the stick) I would like to message her privately tomorrow and ask that she does not speak to me, or anyone else, like that in a public setting. That if she has an issue, she addresses it in private? Or should I just leave it and sweep it under the carpet in case it jeopardises my career?

I always bring these things up right away. I would have got her in private as soon as possible and thrashed it out with her.
Don't let anyone talk to you like that.

What was this purportedly 'throwaway' comment.
No, don't text her. You should have addressed it in the moment.

I would firstly be raising it formally with my own line manager, regardless of how senior you are it needs recording

I've been in a similar situation and raised it, they apologised and we worked better together following that. I discussed it face to face in a calm way. I would recommend it's face to face as email could be taken in a bad way and make the person defensive.

I was genuinely too shocked to comment. Plus she stalked off before I could engage my brain and defend myself.

I have. She actually recommended I raise it with HR. As did the guy sitting next to me.

No, what was the throwaway comment you made to a member of her team?

I would email her and copy in HR and her own boss.

Give a factual description of what took place and explain why you felt it was unprofessional etc

See how she responds - chances are she’s upsetting a few people

This is irrelevant. A senior member of staff should not be shouting at anyone, either privately or in public!

don't address or approach her until you have formally reported it to HR, copying in your line manager, then take their advice as to next steps. You probably did the best thing by not responding at the time.

To those who've spoken up at the time me, how did you approach it?

That would be unacceptable in the large company I work at. We have a right to be respected and we are encouraged to step in if we see someone being disrespectful. It absolutely would have happened when we were a small family run place or PE owned though! I would have a word or you'll seeth about it till one of you leaves and seething she can do it again.

It is not irrelevant as the OP has completely minimised her own behaviours while calling out others on theirs.

Of course shouting is totally unacceptable but if the original comment was for example a case of bullying or harassment then a reaction acceptable or not may be more understantable

I don’t understand why you didn’t raise it there and then.

When a similar thing happened to me it was the final straw in a long campaign of bullying and harassment, but the only one that all 5 witnesses had been party to (they had all seen other incidents individually).

I raised grievance that same day detailing all the incidents, and never went back to that workplace, having claimed constructive dismissal, which I won.

The original comment was neither bullying nor harassment. It was actually to someone I am friendly with. I can't give the exact context as it's very specific to an ongoing work situation.

I didn't raise it there and then because genuinely I was completely taken aback. I immediately assumed I was in the wrong until I explained the situation (very honestly) to my line manager.

You don't deal with bullying and harassment by yelling at someone in the middle of an office!

Absolutely take this further - not just for your sake as you deserve to be treated with respect but also for the sake of other less senior colleagues.

There's your answer then. Raise it with HR, and copy your line manager in.

@ANeverNeedyEverLovelyJewel whatever you do please ensure you have trusted witnesses.

No. Don’t run to HR in your position. Show some leadership and handle it yourself.

Yes your should have dealt with it in the moment. You might have been shocked but now you are on the back foot.

You then follow her and calmly but sternly tell her that her behaviour is inappropriate and unprofessional.

HR isn’t there to deal with tit for tats. What a very junior and inexperienced thing to suggest.

So am i understanding that she advised you to raise with HR?

There is no place for shouting and humiliation in the workplace. You are doing the right thing.

I have said ‘you need to stop’. Your behaviour is unprofessional and unacceptable. I am happy to speak about the incident but in a calm manner. Please let me know when that suits you’. Done.

Then why aren’t you? Messaging her instead could make things messy. This is an HR issue.

My line manager spoke to me like this in my first office job when I was about 20 and, in honesty, a little wallflower. Even so, I remember cutting across his blustering and saying, very calmly, “Please don’t speak to me like that in the office, it’s not OK. If you’ve got an issue to discuss, we can talk about it elsewhere.”

Stopped him in his tracks and he never did it again.

I know it can be a shock if it comes out of nowhere but you really do need to address it at the time.