Rude colleague - confront or ignore?

[UnusuallyLargePelvis]

A colleague recently emailed me to 'pick my brain' on a subject in which I have a lot of expertise.

Despite the fact they hadn't even said 'please' in the email, I answered what I could and told them that the other queries would require me to spend time doing some research. I explained that I was busy at the moment but happy to look into it later.

They have not so much as acknowledged my response, let alone said thank you.

For some reason, this has really wound me up. I've not mentioned anything as I imagine they would take great offence if I suggested they were rude. But, I feel that I ought to say something, in case they ever want my help again.

Am I overreacting?

YABU - who cares, get over it.
YANBU - yes, they are rude and entitled. Tell them.

Was it work-related, it’s not clear from your post?

I'd go back to them before you do anything more and ask them have they had chance to read your initial response and say you're really busy, but they can go to x website, etc to find out more/the specifics if they need it quickly. You can then decide what to do depending on the response.

They may be busy themselves or digesting what you've sent before responding.

I think I would say nothing for now. However, if they get back in touch about the outstanding queries I would be tempted to act faux surprised. " Oh, are you still interested in this ? Given that you didn't acknowledge my previous response I assumed it was of no interest so I haven't taken it further."

It takes a nanosecond to respond saying 'Thanks for this, appreciated - will be back in touch if I need more info'. To ignore a detailed reply is just plain rude, no matter how busy someone is. Very rude also not to say please if asking for a favour.

Very rude.
I would not put myself out for them, nor would I add to the reply you have sent.

I wouldn't tackle them on their rudeness I would just adapt my behaviour and match their energy.

If you said you was busy I wouldn’t then send a email saying thank you as you’ve just said your busy so taking your time to read another email when your already helping me, I would assume is taking the piss a bit.

Im sure they are grateful for your help and will probably say thank you later, when you’re less busy.

I think you're overreacting. I don't see how it matters or how it has hurt you. If you're a colleague, surely it's expected for everyone to chip in where they can so everyone's jobs are done properly?

In your shoes, I'd be flattered that someone thought I was a good person to ask or that my expertise was valuable to them. I wouldn't need additional pleases and thanks. I feel warm and fuzzy enough that someone reached out to me specifically, it's a compliment and gives me opportunity to show off my knowledge. I love it when colleagues come to me and I can help.

Disclaimer: awaiting autism assessment. I understand now that the way I see things is not necessarily the way the majority apparently do.

I would forget about it and move on. There could be lots of reasons they haven’t acknowledged your response, some of which may be perfectly understandable. Some people work on different timeframes etc.

I would however not be ready to be so helpful in future should they want to ‘pick my brain’ next time if they never acknowledge your response.

It’s incredibly rude of them, but YABU to want to confront it - it won’t achieve anything or end well.
Just take the whole thing as a learning experience. They have shown you who they are. Next time they need help, you’re too busy, sorry.

Make a mental note not to help them if they ever ask again. And I agree with the PP who said act all surprised if they get back to you, asking for something else. Bloody cheek, it is rude.

This is such a minor annoyance. Yeah, maybe mildly rude but it’s hardly a big deal, surely? I probably wouldn’t even have noticed the lack of thanks, and if you were busy, why would you want another email to open anyway?

This is the kind of thing that happens a million times a day in the workplace and really such a non-event that I’m amazed you’ve devoted more than a speck of headspace to it.

Not worth a second thought.

On work emails we are encouraged to not say thank you electronically, due to the impact on IT servers and energy use. Maybe this is their thinking?

We’re encouraged to do it in person which is fine for us as we all mostly work in the same office so see each other quite frequently but it is difficult when you don’t see someone in person for ages.

I’m gradually getting used to it, but it does feel rude and terribly unBritish.

I would reply asking if they’d received your email.

I would probably do along the lines of this.

i ticked yabu - not that I think you are, but this happens at my work quite a lot. I think it would come off more rude to complain/ could cause more stress for you, as they might have reasons why they didn’t respond - even something stupid like they accidentally deleted the email.

Its rude.
They have made their own life harder by making you feel that you have spent time making them "shine" in their role without a simple thanks for your help reply.

Next time , tell them you don't know.

Yes, a lot of people simply don’t want another email clogging up their inbox. The ‘thanks’ would be mitigated by the ‘Oh, god, another email’.

Like @Otins said, many workplaces ask you to acknowledge or thank in person.

Either way, presumably if the colleague wants you to go ahead and research what they asked, they will need to get back to you?

I wouldn’t confront them but I certainly wouldn’t be doing any further research or helping them out again.

In fact if they email asking for your help again, unless a specific part of your role is to do what they’ve asked of you, I wouldn’t even acknowledge receipt of their email.

I would add that I think a quick "thanks for that" when they meet you, or passing your office would be perfectly acceptable.
No acknowledgement IMO is rude.

I would not say anything but I would not be going out of my way to help them other than what is required (if it is work related).

Yep. Its different depending on the culture.
I would always add a "Thank You" edit to the subject line so its obvious that no action (open to read) was needed. But if I wanted the OP to spend extra time I would send a proper email saying thanks and recognising that I am adding to her work load.

Agree

More fool them. Ignore any future emails and let them learn the hard way.

Do not contact them, you’ll make yourself look like you’re the one with the problem.

If you'd done the research for them it would be rude of them not to reply, but as I understand it, you haven't done anything for them, you just replied to their email with a holding email saying not right now but I'll do it later? And it's your reply that they haven't replied to?

I can see that it would be better for them to have gone "much appreciated!" or "lovely, thanks!", or use the thumbs up button if you're in that sort of office, but god, I forget to reply to holding emails all the time and I don't mean any offence by it. I'm just busy and easily distracted and I'd rather say thanks in person I guess?