Cut sister out of my life

[Maxi77]

Looking for some advice. I used to be very close to my sister when we were young but we have drifted apart as adults, and due to her behaviour, she really isn't someone I want to be around. She has a temper and we have all born the brunt of it over the years (for example her screaming at me and refusing to leave my house) but as it's family we have forgiven and got on with it. However on top of that she has become very controlling of our parents (is constantly around them) and is very self centred. For example, last year she asked me over for a mother's day afternoon tea but didn't tell me that she was actually taking my parents out to lunch before hand. Second example, when I announced that i was pregnant her first reaction was to cry because she wanted to try for a baby soon. Third example, we hosted Christmas this year as we had our newborn and it was easier than transporting the baby. While sister did bring food for the meal, she debated me about the time for lunch as she wanted it later as she was tired from working! Meanwhile i was up with baby every few hours during the night. Has maybe asked how me and the baby are twice in 4 months.

I'm at the point that I don't want to see her at all but only do occasionally to placate my parents who have rose tinted glasses on about her. AIBU to feel this way? Any suggestions for how I could convey the message to our parents?

I would just Very Low Contact this one. No drama.

been there with an abusive brother
my advice to to NOT involve parents at all , do not even try to get them to see your point of view or win them over or even discuss it with them in any way , utterly pointless and ultimate waste of time and potentially back fire

instead work on going low contact
reply to all her texts promptly and politely but start to reduce yours until they are as low as you can go with out being accused of rudeness

make occasional and believable excuses for not coming to whole family get togethers but always keep positive contact with rest of family

work on how you react and feel about sister aiming for genuine nonchalance in the long term , read up about the “ let them “ technique

Sounds like you are both high drama TBH. I couldn't work out from your examples what she had actually done that was so heinous?

She invited you for tea, but had been for lunch first?

She asked for dinner to be pushed back because she was tired, but you were tired too? I wasn't aware tiredness was a competition.

By all means cut down contact, but I think you are looking for reasons to be irritated.

You're making a drama out of practically nothing. Your poor parents. You would be very unreasonable to involve them in any of this. Maybe they see your sister through Rose tinted glasses as you say because they see that you also create problems.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to comment. I do really appreciate your perspectives.

I think the best thing for me atm is to have minimal contact, and preferably only when we are with other family. While some of my examples may seem trivial, it's probably more an accumulation of lots of difficult behaviour over time. To clarify on the examples I gave. She is really controlling of our parents and always has to be around them. She will see them constantly (uses them as an emotional crutch) but flips out if I see them without inviting her. That's why the mothers day thing was an issue. If I did that to her, she would be fuming. Its constant double standards. Regarding Christmas, it wasn't a discussion about timing. She basically tried to dictate what time i would be hosting because it worked better for her.