To not know what was going on with colleague?

[MangoMangoMango]

So on a Monday morning I volunteer in a charity shop. There are three of us on shift, all volunteers, no manager. One of the other volunteers, Anne, is about 58-60. The other, Brenda, is older, I'm not sure of exact age but would say 75-78ish. I am early 50s. We all get on fine - or so I thought. I have been volunteering with these women for about 2 years, sometimes it's all three of us, sometimes 2 out of the 3 depending on situation.

Went in this morning, did the usual of signing in at the office, hanging up my bag etc and went to see where the other women were. Said hello to Anne, Brenda was not there and by the time she came in I was busy doing something else. She then approached me and asked, quite nastily if I had a problem with her. I was genuinely shocked - I have no problem with her at all! She then went on to say I am always speaking to Anne, ignoring her, she is the more senior volunteer, she doesn't know what my problem is but she doesn't like it.

The whole interaction was utterly bizarre. We have had lengthy chats in the past. I regularly make Brenda a cup of tea and bring her biscuits. I genuinely have no preference for Anne over Brenda.

The whole incident is making me question whether I want to continue volunteering, constantly watching what I say/do in case Brenda gets the hump again.

I mean, WTF?

Thats horrible.
Does she suffer from mental ill health? I had a friend who would start saying things like this out of the blue and even sent me abusive texts and honestly I had no idea where it came from. Can you speak with your manager about it. It’s awful and it would put me off too.

We don't have a manager. It's just volunteers. By the end of the shift she was fine, but it was just very odd. I like the work and it's a nice shop. I am considering though whether I want to engineer a reason to change my shift.

I don't know her well enough to know anything about her mental health.

At her age she may be suffering cognitive decline. My mum has dementia and early signs were sometimes being aggressive.

That does seem bizarre. And for her to just then pretend like nothing happened?

I know you probably don't want to rock the boat, if you enjoy working there. But it feels like you should have an area manager/coordinator you can turn to who's above the other volunteers in the shop.
Would they be someone you could turn to for advice if this woman starts getting difficult?

Not to get her in trouble necessarily but just that you've someone to turn to if there is a dispute in future about the running of the place.

She sounds a bit unpredictable and you don't want to be left to be facing her bizarre whims without some head office backup/advice.

I’d assume this, or just some misunderstanding. What did she say when you said you always talk to her and you’ve had long chats in the past?

Zombie thread.

Oops sorry, not sure how I reactivated it.

Take her for a cuppa somewhere, and have a chat about it. She's guessing your thoughts and intentions, and you're guessing hers. Just explain what you've explained here 😀 Hope it all works out.

My mum is a similar age to Brenda and has a paranoia that people are sending her signals. It’s not enough to warrant treatment as it’s not constant. Maybe Brenda has something similar.

Beginnings of dementia maybe if this is out of character for her?

If you genuinely don't see a reason for her behaviour it could be signs of dementia or paranoia. When my mother was in her mid to late 70s she started getting paranoid that people were talking bad about her or stealing from her, she even accused me and my brother of stealing her jewellery or her money, horrible time but we know she just couldn't help it. Have you spoken to your other colleague? Asked if she has said anything to her that would seem out of place.