To say no I’m not attempting mosaic bloody reclaimed Victorian tile floor?!

[Sœtr]

DH huffy and disappointed at me saying (again) NO to sorting/designing/laying a reclaimed mass of jumbled up Victorian mosaic floor tiles in our busy entrance hallway which never had them in the first place (1920s Edwardian style period home) there is already a small porch with lovely mosaic tiling its not like there’s none at all.
He bought them off eBay for a small fortune, didn’t consult me, (I was days away from giving birth and we were living at my parents house) he says things like I’m ‘good’ at these sorts of things - ok im an artist but never done tiling in my life - and we became parents in the middle of major renovations to a house that was supposed to make life easier, but turned out needed structural repairs- in short its been a f*cking nightmare, I had a difficult birth, feeding problems, trauma, PND/anxiety, this house has ruined our experience of becoming parents, really affected our marriage, I regret the move totally (i had reluctantly agreed) homesick, i’ve been trying to get us back on track - but these fucking tiles in boxes blocking up areas taking up storage space
Enough is enough
We need to function! gain some quality of life
we restored cornicing, replaced joists, laid cement, I’m done, it’s had too much from us
I’m still breastfeeding/cosleeping I’m better and getting back to working slowly
I want out of this fucking house. Period feature aesthetics do not make up for all the traffic noise: boy racers reving loudly and sirens ruining naps and upsetting our little one. It’s not even practical with no kitchen diner I can’t see LO when eating.
acts like im denying him something he wanted and that i get everything i want etc
I was told design inside, he wanted to design front garden - but he’s moved goal posts as per
just ridiculous after all we’ve come through this is causing problems. GAH!!!
ps I just want quick laying, click together non slip laminate (marble effect). Its a family home not an episode of downton abbey.

Your DH doesn’t seem to have grasped the reality of becoming a parent. Sounds like you have gone through the wringer and he is imagining life pre-DC when you could afford time & energy to do things like this. Just get him to sell them or find out how much it would cost to pay someone to do it.

I love cornicing and my house is on a main road. I (used to be we) have a dining room separated from the kitchen by the hallway. It's fine. I like it. When I had a 30s house and two DC we had a kitchen big enough to eat in (and had a table and benches to eat breakfast at) but I never worried about not seeing the DC when I was in the dining room (completely separate - can't stand open plan living, what if I want to watch a film and DH wants to play music ffs?) because I had them with me in a carrycot on a stand or on a sofa (yes, it's that long ago, DC are 47 and 45 - I think). You've had a tough time but you must have a lovely house with nice sized rooms and truly, when DC is older you will appreciate having separate rooms so you can shut the door on the mess.
Tell useless DH to lay tiles himself, pay someone to do it or sell them. Nothing to do with you.
Also, you sound as if you might have post-partum depression and perhaps a visit to your GP would be useful?

They sound lovely but he either needs to pay a contractor to do it properly or sell them on. What’s he thinking?!

You can't just put down encaustic tiles. It's an incredibly specialised job.

You need to pack up and spend an extended break with your parents.

This house is clearly more important than his wife or child.
I would never forgive the early months being ruined by his selfishness.

I don't get this type of sacrifice for a house.

Personally I love a tiled hallway, provided it’s at least halfway period-appropriate. These might not be totally the right tiles, but your house is from an era that could conceivably have had a tiled hallway originally.

I’m trying to imagine marble-effect laminate looking decent and struggling tbh, but maybe I am picturing the wrong thing!

Pay someone to do the tiles. If you can’t afford to do that, can you tell him he has to resell them or lay them himself and give him a firm deadline?

Where are you? I’ll arrange your tiles.

I’m a sucker for a vintage tile.

Pay someone. Someone reliable. You don’t need your home in turmoil.

To be fair to him I would rather have vintage mosaic tiles than marble effect laminate. But he is BU expecting you to lay them, that's what tilers are for.

Well firstly DIY is hugely overated. GAMI for sure

Secondly, I would also love all those tiles to be laid, perhaps GAMI to sort it?

Then enjoy the lovely period features and relax

Your husband sounds like a wanker. Ask him if you or the house are more important to him. Which does he love more?

This. Even regular tilers won’t do it (or won’t if they have any sense). It needs a specialist and even more so with wonky chipped reclaimed tiles.

Could you use some of them for an artistic project instead such as a piece of furniture, vase or wall art?

I absolutely love Victorian mosaic hallways but it is an incredibly difficult specialised job. He's absolutely off his head.

Marble laminate sounds hideous. What about herringbone wood LVT? That would give a more period look but also be quick and practical with kids.

you can tell your dh that we inherited several crates of these tiles that belong to the house we bought about 30 years ago
even now with DC grown up I am not about to get them out and start figuring what the pattern should be
not saying I don't feel jealous when I see my neighbours' hallways...but we have other period features, and life is short
I endorse what PP said- you will appreciate the large, separate rooms sooner than you think

YANBU. I recommend the stick down vinyl tiles over click together laminate. We’ve just had some installed and they look great.

@Sœtr thanks everyone!!

Really appreciate your perspectives
I had my mother offering me her perspective on how he might be feeling as though I needed to back down and made comments about too many jackets… we nearly fell out! Not used to hearing me put my foot down. I was feeling pretty enraged.
We’ve been in a state of renovation for 5 yrs when the tank burst in our old house

@GargoylesofBeelzebub haha ok well maybe not - funnily enough we put down herringbone in ajoining dining room and I said lets just continue it in hallway! But oh no!

@soupyspoonyes we are not even that great at it! Apologies what’s GAMI ?

I thought it brightened it up as the outer storm doors have no glass 😅 they are offcuts from bathroom

@Grammarnutthank you for your input!
We were previously living rurally by the sea for 10 yrs, I was just devastated leaving (because it was too small and far from DH’s work)
Neither of us realised how close the fire station was and how often they turn on sirens very close to us as they wait to pull out junction!
yes 100% I’ve been working hard to deal with PND, many contributing factors, getting better but yes triggers and flare ups
i sing and hum a lot with my LO which helps:)

Get A Man In

And after years of DIY I definitely endorse this. Your idea to continue herringbone into hall was great, it's annoying if he's not listening to you - your opinions count too

@ShodAndShadySenatorsah i see thank you! Yes it’s been an issue, very dismissive, I’m trying to get better at boundaries and assert my needs but it like I have to get angry and loose my crap to be heard which isnt my way (honest;) thanks:)much appreciated