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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Searching your son's room for weapons

91 replies

DeeplyMovingExperience · 24/03/2025 16:00

In light of yet another shocking headline about boys/young men rampaging with knives and machetes causing terrible injuries -

I guess that most of these boys/men live at home (due to their ages), so where are they keeping these terrible weapons?

Surely every parent should be searching their son's rooms or more widely their whole homes?

OP posts:
Justbneen · 24/03/2025 16:02

Are there muggers who still live with their parents?

greengreyblue · 24/03/2025 16:03

Justbneen · 24/03/2025 16:02

Are there muggers who still live with their parents?

Read the op

Radiatorvalves · 24/03/2025 16:06

Really? I have an 18 yo at home and when I go in his room it’s more about collecting empty cups and bowls. Or telling him to bring his dirty clothes /sports kit downstairs. I have absolutely no reason to think he’s involved with violence and were he to find me looking for knives he’d rightly think I’d lost it. Others who suspect their kids may be involved in gangs etc may take a different view. I do have a lot of knives in the kitchen and none are missing.

Justbneen · 24/03/2025 16:06

greengreyblue · 24/03/2025 16:03

Read the op

Sorry I meant moreas like do the parents not care?

Mancala · 24/03/2025 16:07

Well, no. I see your point, but I'm not going to do fingertip searches of my house (how often? Weekly? Daily?) because there are murderous bastards around. I went with teaching children to be good people not machete-wielding maniacs. Working on a suspicion is different.
I agree though there needs to be accountability and answers to this problem.

Hoardasurass · 24/03/2025 16:07

I don't need to search my sons room, I know him and his friends, I know what he does and doesn't do I know he has no access to weapons.
Parents should know who their children are friends with and what risks they are likely to take and behave in accordance with that knowledge

PaintYourAssLikeRembrandt · 24/03/2025 16:10

Every parent?

Nope, no way would I ruin the trust and good relationships I have with my sons to go searching their rooms, what, weekly? Monthly? Daily?

Parents should do it if they have reason, but to suggest every parent do it is ridiculous.

GretchenWienersHair · 24/03/2025 16:12

They don’t tend to store them at home. There’ll be a place that they stash them, like a specific bush somewhere close to home or something.

I live on an estate known for this and the police have begun to do regular weapons sweeps in the known spots, so no doubt they’ll have found new hiding places now.

Backwoods57 · 24/03/2025 16:14

My kids are into camping and survival skills, finding a knife is normal. Its more about who their friends are.

The had the hatchet from the garage up there yesterday teaching themselves how to sharpen it.

RobinHeartella · 24/03/2025 16:17

I think the mums of these sons are probably terrified of them. They are probably usually from households where the mums aren't in charge.

Snorlaxo · 24/03/2025 16:18

On TV, gangs store communal weapons in bushes and behind loose bricks in alleys. By gangs I mean men in organised gangs or ones that commit crimes in groups.
My son was a victim of a crime that involved weapons and the police found the weapons in question in a bush. (My son is fine btw) I don’t know if it was a bush that they knew about or if a member of the public alerted the police but I wouldn’t be surprised if dogs often find these weapons

SeaSwim5 · 24/03/2025 16:20

I think the impact of this Netflix show is really getting out of hand now.

Of course we should be trying to stop those at risk of committing violence (which is largely about early intervention and support). However, the vast majority of boys are not about to go and carry out attacks, and we need to remember that.

Snorlaxo · 24/03/2025 16:21

I’d like to know what would happen if a parent alerted the police to their son owning a weapon. As it’s stored at home rather than on their person on the street, I assume nothing. I assume that the sons would clean the knife if they hurt another person with it so it’s unlikely to yield dna

Easterbunnygettingsorted · 24/03/2025 16:21

I removed a now banned butterfly blade form teen ds's room..
The odd vape.
Nothing worse thank goodness.. He has ASD and has been on an awareness course run by the local council.. Referred by school..
He is a follower not a leader they assured me. Won't prevent him being in the thick of an incident though...

Snorlaxo · 24/03/2025 16:25

SeaSwim5 · 24/03/2025 16:20

I think the impact of this Netflix show is really getting out of hand now.

Of course we should be trying to stop those at risk of committing violence (which is largely about early intervention and support). However, the vast majority of boys are not about to go and carry out attacks, and we need to remember that.

How many boys carry knives? Where on earth would I buy a machete or something like that anyway? Where do they get them from?

I know how often my son gets packages from the Internet and if that’s where they come from, I assume it’s not somewhere mainstream like Amazon.

I haven’t watched Adolescence but stabbings seem to happen too often.

WatchedEverything · 24/03/2025 16:38

So many parents really back off from parenting their children once they get to secondary school and don’t have a clue what their children are up to, who they’re mixing with, what their views are on things etc. It’s more important than ever that you stay close and are willing to talk about anything with them. I’ve never had any reason to even check my children’s phone, never mind their rooms for weapons.

Spacecowboys · 24/03/2025 16:39

It wouldn't cross my mind to search ds's rooms for weapons. Completely unnecessary.

SuspiciousChipmunk · 24/03/2025 16:40

They should be doing their job as a parent before they get hold of weapon. Removing the item isn’t solving the problem.

Sinkintotheswamp · 24/03/2025 16:44

I'd be more likely to find biscuits and random techy gadgets than a knife. He also has accumulated a huge stationery stash so I'm forever going in there and borrowing things. He's hoping to go into the police after Uni.
No dad or even close male role models on the scene. I checked his phone until about yr 9 and never once saw anything risky.

Fluffyyellowball · 24/03/2025 16:45

I have taught my son to know the difference between right and wrong and to be a kind, sensible and upstanding human being. The only thing I need to search his room for is the mugs and glasses that he continually forgets to bring down.
Some people need to start parenting this kids and knowing the company they keep.

Rebelagain · 24/03/2025 16:45

These posts relating to the drama Adolescence are getting out of hand

atmywitsend1989 · 24/03/2025 16:46

Have searched my eldest's before for weapons when he was living at home. Although he has had a history of self harm so it wouldn't be the only reason. Many boys hide weapons to carry to school for 'self defence.' That's how stabbings start and how murderers are created... Would have absolutely done more extensive searches because of all the news stories if he were here recently

This of course doesn't mean that your son is violent or that he has something hidden.. if he's a good kid then likely not. just better be safe than sorry

GoBackToTheStart · 24/03/2025 16:49

Rebelagain · 24/03/2025 16:45

These posts relating to the drama Adolescence are getting out of hand

This isn't about Adolescence. It's about the headlines about the very real events in London where a gang of approximately 50 armed teenagers broke into a private party and stabbed two other teenagers on Saturday...

MissyB1 · 24/03/2025 16:54

I don't think the kind of teenagers you're talking about OP have parents who ever go in their rooms. I don't think they have parents who take much notice of anything.

SirDanielBrackley · 24/03/2025 17:03

DeeplyMovingExperience · 24/03/2025 16:00

In light of yet another shocking headline about boys/young men rampaging with knives and machetes causing terrible injuries -

I guess that most of these boys/men live at home (due to their ages), so where are they keeping these terrible weapons?

Surely every parent should be searching their son's rooms or more widely their whole homes?

You need help OP.