To think stress is pointless because it never actually solves anything?

[ThisFirmPoet]

I know stress is a natural reaction, but when you think about it, what does it actually achieve? Worrying and overthinking don’t change the outcome of a situation, and most of the time, things either work out or they don’t, regardless of how much stress we put ourselves through.

Obviously, some pressure can push people to be productive, but beyond a certain point, it just feels like a waste of energy. So AIBU to think that stress is basically pointless or do people find it useful in some way?

Grief won't bring the deceased back - let's all just stop feeling it.

Are you able to decide what to feel? Because if so you are VERY unusual (and I'll pay you any price you name for lessons).

We can choose how we respond to our feelings, but we can't help what we feel. (I get very stressed while never letting anyone else get a glimpse of it. Your perception of who is stressy may not always be accurate).

Complete lack of understanding for severe mental health conditions.😡Ignorant lot

Google for the comfort, stretch and panic zones. Being in the panic zone is bad but the stretch zone is a good thing!

I disagree. Worry can serve a purpose up to a point. I gave some professional advice at work recently, went home worried about it and then amended the advice. The first advice wasn't right. If I'd not worried about this I'd have left it and it could have led to a proper cock up.

Gosh well done OP, you've just solved stress. What was I thinking, I'll just choose to be zen from now on.

Or perhaps it's not actually a controllable reaction? Personally when I get stressed or angry it's precisely because I can't solve something.

Too much stress makes you ill.

It is like saying 'have you tried not being depressed'.

I think thats too simplistic. I overthink. I also know it's not always rational. But someone telling me not to worry or get stressed is just so very unhelpful. It's simply not that easy

Depends on the context, surely?

Last year was the most stressful and worrying time of my life as my son almost died and then spent a long period of time in hospital.

I'd challenge anyone to not be stressed or worried during that time.

This.

Everyone I know who is never stressed always has everyone around them stressed and doing everything for them.

Well, it's a natural reaction as you say. And may have evolved because stress hormones .make us more alert to potential threats; and in dangerous situations, stimulate 'fight or flight' emergency responses. Of course, stress is not always useful in many of the situations that elicit it!

I'm really stressed at the moment. It's just not as simple as you say OP. I know it doesn't achieve anything but I can't just switch it off and feel differently. I'm just about managing to hold it together in public but the minute I close my front door I start to cry. I'm completely overwhelmed and can't see a way forward. It's making me ill.

I think you're being over simplistic, it isn't just a case of choosing whether to be stressed or not.

I agree. When i think about having a back up plan things work out okay. When i think that everything will work out it always goes to pot.

What on earth are you talking about?

I'm not sure the OP is saying people should just stop feeling stress.

I read it as stress is largely counterproductive, wouldn't it be better if we could just magically get rid of it altogether.

In a similar vein, I remember ranting once as a teen about period pains being pointless and stupid. Pain is to tell you there's something wrong - there's nothing wrong with a period, so they shouldn't bloody hurt!

You're right, it is mostly pointless but also very hard to keep under control sadly

Reading a few different philosophy perspectives, counselling theories and Buddhism helps to reason things out. Psychiatrists have found that meditation and guided pathways are better than medication, for the effects on our brains. For situations you can't change, it's true that acceptance is important. When I did counselling about my disability, acceptance was a big part.

How do i let go of my hatred of this phrase

Well of course stress isn’t great, it can cause physical symptoms and does with me. When i’ve been stressed with work I can see the changes on my Fitbit. When my close friend died last week my Fitbit gave me a warning the next day. As you say, it’s a physical reaction. I am not an over thinker and generally quite laid back, but certain things in life cause stress, and all you can do is manage it the best you can and limit how it affects those around you.

I have anxiety and depression. I worry about my adult dc and their problems a lot. However I feel that if I did not, how would God, a higher being, luck know they needed help. So it is my duty, job to try and help. Am I the only one?

Your OP is confused.

stress is a natural reaction yes, when under stress, people feel stressed.

how much stress we put ourselves through makes it sound like a straightforward personal choice.

This is just another thread blaming people for mental ill health.

God is meant to be omniscient. If he is, he will know about everything..he doesn't need to be told. There's a million things wrong with the logic of prayer but faith helps lots of people.
I'm firmly in the..worry about what I can do or change and leave the rest. It's got me through thirty years of a teaching career...

This is what I meant when I said my relative believes it's productive - not FAO God exactly but just means someone is pushing the worries up to the surface all the time and nothing will take her by surprise.

I'm not really sure it's a choice people make.

Stress serves a useful function in many situations, as it’s a motivator for necessary change, but the flip side of that is that we also have to manage stress when we have no means of making a change. That’s life.

Not everything in life is useful all the time. Grief doesn’t achieve anything, either, but it’s still normal to experience it. People can’t help feeling the way they feel.

Stress isn’t a choice. If it was possible to just not be stressed about things that are difficult and/or harmful, nobody would ever be stressed. But that isn’t how it works.