To feel like I’m failing at everything..?

[Bonbailey1721]

I’ve been unwell for about 18 months. I’ve not had an official diagnosis but the symptoms affect my life dramatically. Nausea, dizziness, unable to eat, pain.
I've had to quit work, I’ve lost many friends, I barely leave the house. It’s affected my mental health badly.

3 years ago I left my partner for a while and stayed with my parents. My eldest child (8) now for all intents and purposes lives with them. It’s only up the road so I see him all the time but I just want him back with us (we are back together now) but my parents basically just are putting up a fight saying he’s happy with them etc. honestly, the only way I think I’ll get him back is if my dad in his 70s.. dies.

I have a younger child but my partner has put her in nursery 4 full days while I’ve been unwell, his choice not mine. So I basically have nothing but myself and the dog in the house most days.

My house is clean and tidy apart from the garage and attic which we’re getting a skip for soon to organise. My partner works and cooks, I only do the cleaning and tidying.

I just feel like a failure. 36, not married, no career, house far from perfect to say I don’t work, clearly not a good mother, don’t do school runs, don’t go on family holidays as I hardly manage going to the local town.

i see Instagram and all these mums up at 6am doing anything and everything, perfect meals every night, tidy house, baby groups, loads of friends, holidays.

I feel like a waste of space.

He’s happy with your parents- great. But is there no reason he wouldn’t also be happy with you? Unless there is an issue with your partner then as his mother I would bring him home- you don’t need your dads consent?

@Tryingtohelp12 it’s a multitude of reasons really. He would spend quite a bit of time there when I was working, then when I was pregnant and had a newborn I appreciated them having him often to help me out. Then when I moved in he just got almost unhealthily attached to my dad. Not so much my mum, and to be honest if it was just mum she’d probably have made sure he came back here. To get him to stay here we’d have to lock the doors and take away any way he could get in contact, and then to be honest my dad would probably turn up at the door. And now they are using my mental health struggles as a reason I’m “not fit” to have him. My partner is fine, he’s more strict with him than my parents are but that’s it. They let him swear, he gets what he wants, they spend so much on him. But barely bother with his little sister? It’s strange.