The lovely giggling mums - AIBU?

[CorneliaLouise]

Another thread this morning has reminded me of an incident that happened to me although details are a bit different.

2 years ago I went to an evening concert at a concert hall in the city centre.

I noticed there were 2 mothers of 2 girls I’d grown up with also at the concert. I’d lost contact with their daughters - our ‘school group’ - some 5 years earlier - so we weren’t in contact at all at that time.

When I went up a level to where the toilets were at the end of the concert interval these two mums were standing outside the toilets and giggling to each other in an exaggerated manner as I walked by. There was no one else around.

Looking back - I feel this was an extremely cruel thing to do. One of the mums was extremely cruel on one occasion to me when I was about 7.

For context, these mums at the time were around 60. AIBU to feel hurt by this?

'Well I was a fat kid and she said at her daughter’s birthday party and as the food was served she said - “oh look Cornelia’s eyes are popping out - that’s why she’s so fat”'

I wished that her being a teacher surprised me but it doesn't (experienced a couple of them). A very weak and pathetic woman.

Are you sure it was related to you? They could have been laughing at something completely different. Chances are they didn't even recognise you. I don't recognise now all the children that were at school with my children because they look completely different

Thank you - agreed

There’s always a possibility that you might be right

You are overthinking this.
If they were laughing at you they are bloody morons, so no need for you to worry about them.
If they weren't you are getting triggered by an even that happened long ago and you should be able to disregard that stuff for your own sake.

I'd be inclined to think you were correct that the over exaggerated laughter was disingenuous but that doesn't mean it was about you; in fact it makes it less likely IMO. If they were really that mean and nasty they would probably be laughing for real.

A hypothetical situation (obviously there are infinite); one was recounting a story to the other and mimicking how a person in the story was laughing like a twit.

Whether or not it was directed at you, there is no way to find out here now and no benefit to actually knowing because, presumably, you won't be spending time with them in the future. In addition to this, that sort of bitchy behaviour speaks volumes about them and says nothing about you.

Tbf, there are also many women who are somewhat uncouth and ill-mannered, and are oblivious to the discomfort they cause others. They, too, are not well-adjusted socially.

If you find yourself feeling insecure about others laughing at you or talking about you, my advice would be to try to care less about what others think and to assume they don't mean you any ill-will (not least, because if they do, that will annoy them). And if you generally don't find yourself feeling like that, perhaps take a critical look at your own behaviour and ask yourself whether you might be contributing to making someone more vulnerable feel uncomfortable.

See also nurses. Not all obviously, but some.

I hope that getting it off your chest anonymously is helpful OP. Forget them!

It is. Thank you! ❤️

I would have just said Hi and smiled. And probably said something like, I recognise you from somewhere, school waa such a ling time ago and weve all changed so much. You look nothing like you did all those years ago. Time can be so cruel to us can't it.'.

Why are you so invested in what the mothers of your ex-friends think? I f you examine the facts, twice you've seen them, twice you've assumed they were laughing at/ talking about you. Why on earth would they be? Is your life so interesting to others? Was it that interesting when you were friends with their kids?
It sound very much like paranoia

Some people are just really dim and behave in a childish, bitchy manner. You'll get people coming on and saying "I haven't seen this behavior, you must be wrong," like on the other thread, as if dumb, bitchy people don't exist anywhere in the UK. Which is silly.

They sound like nasty people, unfortunately not everyone you encounter in the world are nice! It was a tiny interaction 2 years ago and you're still feeling hurt?

What on earth makes you think they were laughing at you? I doubt very much if you mattered enough to them. You sound very paranoid.

Go full passive aggressive. Wear a Kylie t shirt on the school run like one of these https://store.kylie.com/collections/apparel Smile your biggest smile!

Sounds like it could be paranoia, OP. They probably didn't notice you at all and were just having a laugh together.

Why on earth would you assume its about you?

Years ago my sister and I got very drunk and were dancing in a club. As we walked out a group of women crowded round us and laughed in a very exaggerated manner.

i think they had been waiting to do it as they were crowded outside the door. I have no idea why. There was no altercation whatsoever with anyone in the club and we hadn't done anything untoward.

My sister didn't actually notice and I completely ignored them and we just carried on chatting and left. Bullies are strange creatures.

There's something fundamentally wrong with them and you have to bear that in mind when dealing with them. Why a couple of 60 year olds would humiliate themselves by acting like that is anyone's guess.

Be glad you no longer have to see them and move on OP. They're not worth the energy.

Thank you - agreed

No, I just think she was a drama queen TBH

I agree with the comments that some women don't seem to grow out of bitchy, jealous behaviour.
My husbands firm used to have Christmas and summer events, wives were always invited.
One wife used to single me out and on several occasions over the years she would stand back, look me up and down, and ask if I was pregnant again?
I never was. I was tall and slim, she was short and fat....it became a standard joke between my and my Husband.
Oddly, she always said this when no other women were around. 😄

Omg !!