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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to believe a Solicitor acting for the other party can't make false accusations against me?

40 replies

Apricottoast · 24/03/2025 06:28

I've been going through Tribunal proceedings for Child maintenance with my ex. He has a Solicitor but I can't afford one.
At the last hearing on Friday, his Solicitor made all sorts of derogatory accusations about me which aren't true, and twisted things out of context.
She's clearly going by what my ex has told her to say, but I was wondering if a Solicitor shouldn't be allowed to make accusations which make the opposing party look bad, unless they know them to be true, even if it's in the Court room?
Don't they have a code of conduct to follow?

OP posts:
SauvignonBlonk · 24/03/2025 09:24

I’m on my second CMS tribunal OP. The first one was a success but only dealt with arrears and the current year, hence having to apply for another one now.

Hoardasurass · 24/03/2025 10:00

SauvignonBlonk · 24/03/2025 09:24

I’m on my second CMS tribunal OP. The first one was a success but only dealt with arrears and the current year, hence having to apply for another one now.

That sucks I was lucky enough that by the time I got to the tribunal my dd had just turned 18 so was able to deal with it in 1 and all of his appeals were refused. Good luck with part 2 of your case

Original poster
Apricottoast · 24/03/2025 16:28

AlwaysCoffee25 · 24/03/2025 06:54

They’re acting on behalf of their client. Its horrendous and I sympathise with you - I’ve been cross examined by a barrister as part of a CSA trial (I was the victim) and it’s really upsetting.

But they’re only doing their job.

Sorry to hear you've had a hard time with the Court. It's a disgrace the lengths ex's will go to to make the parent who is raising their children look bad isn't it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Apricottoast · 24/03/2025 16:32

Elektra1 · 24/03/2025 07:00

I’m a solicitor. Your solicitor is obliged to act on their client’s instructions. They also have a duty not to mislead the tribunal, but it’s only misleading if they advance a point they KNOW to be untrue. They do not have to KNOW their client’s instructions are true, only that the client says they are true. If the client says “I want you to say that Apricottoast attacked me, even though that didn’t happen”, they couldn’t say that. If he told them to say you attacked him, and he maintained that that did happen, they would have to act on his instructions.

I hope that helps.

His Solicitor has mislead the Tribunal, as she's accused me of writing in my letter to the court something which I didn't write. I didn't have the time to defend her comment at the end., and I think her comments might have an impact. on the end result.

OP posts:
Original poster
Apricottoast · 24/03/2025 16:34

UpsideDownChairs · 24/03/2025 07:20

They can basically say what they like. My ex's solicitor (and barrister) told some absolute whoppers..

Luckily I had all the paperwork to refute them (when they mattered - I also focussed my energy), and stick to the core of the matter (I'd put a lot of thought into what I wanted, and what was reasonable, and I got it)

I'm glad things worked out for you, it's quite stressful going through proceedings.

OP posts:
Original poster
Apricottoast · 24/03/2025 16:36

JohnofWessex · 24/03/2025 08:05

https://www.sra.org.uk/solicitors/standards-regulations/code-conduct-solicitors/

  1. You only make assertions or put forward statements, representations or submissions to the court or others which are properly arguable.

So I suggest look at what has been submitted and compare it with this paragraph

Thank you for the link, that's helpful

OP posts:
Hoardasurass · 24/03/2025 16:39

Apricottoast · 24/03/2025 16:32

His Solicitor has mislead the Tribunal, as she's accused me of writing in my letter to the court something which I didn't write. I didn't have the time to defend her comment at the end., and I think her comments might have an impact. on the end result.

Show quote history

I'm sure the judge will read the letter himself/herself if it has any relevance to the case or your credibility. Please don't worry about it, as judges have seen and hurd it all before, it's past now and it's just a waiting game, theres no point in going back over it again.

Original poster
Apricottoast · 24/03/2025 16:40

Kbroughton · 24/03/2025 08:58

Poor you. You are being brave going through a tribunal to hold him to account. Yes a solicitor will use what they can to disparage you. However, on a good note, a tribunal judge is likely to be kinder to you as you are not represented. So, you need to: go heavy on the emotional toll. Stress you cant afford anything and he can so you question how that is as he isnt paying you much. Keep repeating that what they are saying is not only true, it is irrelevant as all you want is to help from the tribunal that he is paying what he should. Keep asking the tribunal judge if that is relevant. Be upset. (it will be upsetting). I went through all this myself so feel free to PM me,

Thank you, it's not the best experience to go through definitely.

OP posts:
AlwaysCoffee25 · 25/03/2025 09:44

If it’s a tribunal about his income why is your conduct at all relevant?

JohnofWessex · 25/03/2025 09:50

AlwaysCoffee25 · 25/03/2025 09:44

If it’s a tribunal about his income why is your conduct at all relevant?

Indeed!

Which is where your ex's solicitor may well have breached the code of conduct

OP I gather you have had the hearing, are you waiting the decision?

Original poster
Apricottoast · 25/03/2025 16:20

AlwaysCoffee25 · 25/03/2025 09:44

If it’s a tribunal about his income why is your conduct at all relevant?

Precisely! It shouldn't be relevant at all!

OP posts:
Original poster
Apricottoast · 25/03/2025 16:22

JohnofWessex · 25/03/2025 09:50

Indeed!

Which is where your ex's solicitor may well have breached the code of conduct

OP I gather you have had the hearing, are you waiting the decision?

Show quote history

It seems as if she's allowed to disparage me all she wants, it has pissed me off and I'm thick skinned!
Yes I'm still waiting for it

OP posts:
JohnofWessex · 25/03/2025 19:21

Well, while you wait you can draw up your complaint

AlwaysCoffee25 · 26/03/2025 08:24

JohnofWessex · 25/03/2025 09:50

Indeed!

Which is where your ex's solicitor may well have breached the code of conduct

OP I gather you have had the hearing, are you waiting the decision?

Show quote history

I don’t agree - your clients can instruct you to address all kinds of irrelevant stuff - that’s the nature of acting on instructions.

AlwaysCoffee25 · 26/03/2025 08:26

SauvignonBlonk · 24/03/2025 09:24

I’m on my second CMS tribunal OP. The first one was a success but only dealt with arrears and the current year, hence having to apply for another one now.

CMS are abysmal, they must be wasting so much money being utterly incompetent. I’m on the otherside - my DH pays CMS but they get his income wrong every year. Once magicking up an extra 80k a year because his ex said so! She demanded the “arrears” of several thousand and it took 5 months to clear it up.

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