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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Overprotective Playground mum

3 replies

HMB512 · 24/03/2025 01:21

I got my first playground mum attack against me and my 4yo son.(adopted)

I'd cared for her daughter and the mum for 2 years before the school started. I took them to urgent care at hospital when her daughter had a head cut at playground, we went to a softplay together, we had arranged to meet at a local park. I told her how difficult to start our journey with adoption.

Mum is from Ukrain, living close and can't speak English, so I helped her when she looked for job etc. We shared kids snacks and drinks. I would take food for both my son and her daughter.
One day she was annoyed by other mum and she said the mum doesn't like me and my son. She said the mum is crazy etc.
Now her daughter and my son go to the same class and she stopped talkng to me. I say hi, but I felt something was off. She would go with the other mums including the mum she was annoyed with. They'd speak the same language. I thought she was comfortable in the clan.
Recently my son went to the mum like before and asked to share the daughter's snack and the mum told him to back off. It was strange.
3weeks aho my son and her daughter had a bit of fight over a seesaw. The daughter cried, and my son screamed and looked upset. I told my son to apologize to her and they chased each other again. Her mum did not speak when I approached to the clan to talk about weather.
2weeks ago in playground she asked my name(she can't have forgotten) and raised a voice and told me to control my son in front of her clan. I saw both kids looked upset, my son snatched her toy and pulled her jacket hood. I immediately talked to my son not to do it and told him to apologize. I could see my son being very upset. He cannot speak well when he is upset. The mum demonstrated my son pulling her daughter's hood using my hood. I kept telling her they were just playing and my son overstepped and did wrong things. She shouted at me and left with her daughter.
My son was crying hard sensing the tension.The other mum who was supposed to hate us came to say 'your son can play with mine'
I messaged her to say I spoke to my son and I'd believe they are friends and we were friends.
The mum sent very hostile message , claimed he mistreats her daughter.
We spoke to school and they said kids are always playing together ad best friends, never see my son being unkind. Theclass teacher said they were playing as usual today.
I am so confused with her outburst, and shocked especially after all the history.
I would not raise a voice at the playground, and I would not make a scene in front of children. I would ask both kids why the fight started. If more serious, I would let the mum know if any other kids keep snatching things of my son.
I am starting to blame on our differences.
What is your view?

OP posts:
Soonenough · 24/03/2025 07:14

Think you are right to just blame the cultural differences . Her reaction to touch your hood is not acceptable here . And harsh untrue words is also usual . Had a neighbour of many years come over shouting and angry because our bin had fallen over and some trash was near his car .
Just keep your distance from the mother , kids can play if they want to. You don't need that volatility in your life.

HMB512 · 24/03/2025 09:09

@Soonenough Thank you for simple and powerful comment.🙂
I am not justifying my son's neive behavior but he is still 4yo and gone through a lot till he met me and my husband. The mum didn't give us a chance.

As I thought she had understood him it was just a shocking event. So annoying to have neighbor like that. I hope you find your peace. I am trying to find mine.

OP posts:
slashlover · 24/03/2025 09:32

She clearly doesn't want to be your friend any more and doesn't want the kids to play together. Leave her alone.

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