Things that are meant to be better but are not better

[CrocsNotDocs]

Look, I’m not a Luddite- I usually love technology.

But why oh why have headphones jacks been removed from phones and tablets? I don’t want Bluetooth headphones or earbuds that I have to worry about charging before I go anywhere and that cost a zillion dollars. I want cheap old fashioned headphones that don’t go flat that can be plugged into your device and just work. I don’t want to use the charging port for headphones- I like to charge my device while using it. I want headphone jacks back.

YABU- Everything new is always better
YANBU- some things were not broken and should have been left alone

Apps, often frustrating. Call centres, usually maddening. .

A combination of both - a solid justification for homicide. This is verbatim...

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"Hello. Barclays Business Support here. Thank you for waiting."

"Oh, no bother. I passed the time designing a cathedral and commissioning the construction thereof."

"How can I help you today?"

"You keep sending me texts asking me if I want to keep my business account open, and I keep trying to call you to say that I do. But your 'press 0 for anything else' menu system keeps telling me to message you from the app.”

“Thank you for using the Barclays App.”

“Well, that’s the thing. The phone number tells me to send a message on the app. I send you a message on the app, and I get a reply telling me to use online banking – and online banking tells me to call you on this number, which is a different number to the one that I called you on to be told to message you on the app.”

“How can I help you today?”

“I just want to tell you that, yes, I wish to keep my business account open. I mean, I have told you that, but you seem to be ignoring my messages on the app. And now you’ve restricted access to the account.”

“Can you give me the account number and sort code?”

“No – because your restriction of the account means that I can’t see it on the app.”

“Without the account number and sort code, I can’t help you.”

“Right. So how can I tell you that I want to keep the account open?”

“Without the account number and sort code, I can’t help you.”

“But I can’t see them because you’ve restricted them until I tell you that I want to keep the account. It’s you that’s keeping them from me. Can we go through some other security?”

“Can you find the account number and sort code, then we can go through security?”

“No. First, I’m not at home, and second, at your suggestion I run this account completely paperless. So I need to be able to access it on my phone - and you won’t let me.”

“I’m sorry I can’t help you without the account number and sort code. Goodbye.”

“Whoa, whoa! Hang on. You can’t just leave. What do you suggest I do?”

“Can you help me by giving me the account number and sort code?”

“No! I’ve explained that.”

“Then I cannot help you. Goodbye.”

“Wait – I understand that you can’t help me, but someone can. How do I escalate this?”

“You must go to your branch.”

“Really? I mean, that’s time-consuming and inconvenient – and completely avoidable. You’ve texted me on a phone you know to be mine. I’m calling you on that phone to respond to a request you made of me. None of this is at my instigation. And now you want me to go to my branch to sort out a problem of your making?”

“Can you help me by giving me the account number and sort code?”

“….no. But you know my account number and sort code. That’s what you messaged me about.”

“I cannot help you. You must go to your branch.”

“Fine. Then can you make me an appointment at my branch? One can’t just show up there and ask to see a business banker – I know this because I’ve tried it before.”

“I cannot make an appointment at your branch without the account number and sort code.”

“Have you ever heard of Kafka?”

“Thank you. Goodbye.”

I totally agree. This, along with other daily stressors such as rubbish customer service to possibly help with these things, sees me going from a calm and patient person to one who has a very short fuse!

You have far more faith in my excel skills than I do...! 😂

Barclays have been a total PITA about this for me over the last couple of years.

They should have sent you letters about keeping your business details up to date. I say should because I had access to a bank account deleted because I hadn't provided the information from the letters I'd never received.

If you do have a letter it will have a reference number on it that can be used by the team, even without the sort code and account no. That said, the account number and sort code for the account I access is on the "authentication card" I use in my card reader.

https://www.barclays.co.uk/business-banking/important-information/updating-your-details/

The number listed here is 0330 058 0087, option 1.

They were pretty helpful when I had to call them and I got it sorted out over the phone quite quickly.

@Mudkipper Like you, I often travel with a paper as well as a digital ticket.
Hope you’re off somewhere nice 🙂

I wonder if that contravenes the Disability Discrimination Act

If you call a helpline the first message you get is to try their website because it's quicker/easier (ie they don't have anywhere near enough call centre or customer service staff and trying to put you off waiting for half a day )

I'd imagine most people have would have scoured the website to find the phone number in the first place (it's usually pretty difficult to find) so would have used the website if it was something straightforward.

I think the problem with lots of things is that companies want to streamline staff numbers and get everyone to do stuff online because it's cheaper for them.....but skipping the stage that ensures that the apps, websites, chat bots etc can deal with anything but the most basic queries. (And that's aside from the fact they can't accomodate anyone who is unable to use the technology) And then there aren't sufficient humans to deal with the non-standard problems. Even in supermarkets I suspect it is a more stressful job for 1 cashier to be overseeing eg 8 self checkouts, than simply dealing with 1 customer at a time on a conventional till. (And they are probably paid the same)

I think the problem with lots of things is that companies want to streamline staff numbers and get everyone to do stuff online because it's cheaper for them

Which reminds me of something else. Online shopping.

Stores wanted to move everyone online so that they didn’t have to run the costs of stores. Except they run their website so badly (lovely artistic photos, shame they’re useless for seeing what an item actually looks like…) and completely miss the point that you want to try on more than one size, look at the fabric etc, so essentially it’s like a changing room where you buy the stuff first then get a refund.

Except now the bastards charge you to take stuff back!

... UberEats groceries...

Me: I'd like some NameBrand Salted Butter.
App: What if we don't have that?
Me: Then AnotherBrandSalted Butter.

Delivery: NameBrand Unsalted Butter.

Next time....

Me: I'd like some NameBrand Salted Butter.
App: What if we don't have that?
Me: Then just give me the money back.

Delivery: NameBrand Unsalted Butter

Next time...

Me: I'd like TheOtherBrand Salted Butter, because the pack is sufficiently different from the Unsalted that you're less likely to fuck up.
App: What if we don't have that?
Me: Facetiously, I'm going to say a bag of carrots.

Delivery: NameBrand Salted Butter.

When I still had my small business I started doing ebay alongside the bricks and mortar end to gauge the market etc. Did it as a legit business, and spent hours doing photos etc. I was selling new themed giftware. One such item was a clock in the style of a skeleton riding a penny farthing constructed from "bones" (Gothic shop if you haven't guessed).

The clock sold! I happily packaged it up and despatched it.

Customer received it and was allegedly happy. Except I then got an email a few days later, asking to return it....because it ticked too loudly. It was neither the first, nor last time I cried trying to build that business. No option to say "suck it up" obviously as one doesn't need negative feedback. The really galling thing was I had the same clock in my bedroom and I couldn't hear it ticking at all. So much faff for 15 quid including P&P.

And this is why I will never return to selling widgets.

Online selling is a nightmare. And don't get me started on when eBay switched to "managed payments" and couldn't understand the concept of a business partnership as opposed to a limited company with directors because it's an American model, and i couldn't carry on trading without the upgrade / transfer. That was the point I threw in the towel with Ebay, after three very frustrating calls with Utah. It was all very computer says no, and also "computer decides if / when you get paid, which is a nightmare for cash flow.

If the three score years and ten lifespan holds true, I've only got 14 years to go, and when it comes to technology, I can't say I mind in the slightest.

Having wrestled with HMRC’s system today …

Automated phone lines that start “in order to help you quicker , can you just give us your NI number / post code / date of birth ot account number” , which you then say into the phone , and then , no matter how clearly you say it , or at what volume , or whether you have any accent , or none , the system then totally fucks it up and parrots back something totally different and then says “is that right ? “. So then you say no , and try again and again and again at increasing volume until you end up howling “FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN I JUST SPEAK TO A FUCKING PERSON , ITS NOT THAT FUCKING DIFFICULT……..”

Or is that just me ?

Ha. Sounds similar to my local taxi firms automated phone system. I'm a regular user. It asks you to say the pick up point and destination and it's like playing Russian roulette. It still tries to deliver me to either my old address (I moved ten months ago) or my old business address (obsolete for over a year). It often tells me my new address doesn't exist, despite having dropped me there on average twice a week for the last ten months. After three goes you get through to the operator. Today I clearly told the operator my pick up point and destination, and the poor woman on the other end said "I'm really sorry but I didn't take any of that in at all, can we start again". At least we had a chuckle about it. Computers don't chuckle. But with advances in AI I'm sure they will soon.

Yes to this. I hate it when I can't quickly scan across or down the menu or go back to an item to have another look at it again. The ones online make that difficult to do.

So then you say no , and try again and again and again at increasing volume until you end up howling “FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN I JUST SPEAK TO A FUCKING PERSON , ITS NOT THAT FUCKING DIFFICULT……..”

Companies do sometimes employ consultant companies to listen to what people say when they're on hold/waiting, so I use the time to explain - at length and quite swearily - exactly what I think of their tin pot service.

At worst, I've vented my spleen in a most cathartic manner and maybe, just maybe, someone who matters will know what customers think of them!

Everything's on the phone, tickets, airport check.in etc, what if you lose the phone?
Nobody sends tickets out anymore.

@MistressoftheDarkSide Ah, that reminds me of more app-based rage. My local cab firm - who are excellent, generally - have developed an app. It looks like it's been developed by the work experience kid - the app equivalent of a frames website with primary coloured comic sans font - and it it won't let me choose my home as a destination. Or select my current location as a starting point. Or, as of this evening, let me log in <weeps>

So then you say no , and try again and again and again at increasing volume until you end up howling “FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN I JUST SPEAK TO A FUCKING PERSON , ITS NOT THAT FUCKING DIFFICULT…

I did do this the other day, when I got what sounded just like a recorded message about to give me yet another options menu, only to realise to my horror that it was a real live person speaking on the other end of the line. Mortifying.

All of these ,oh all of these.

Dunelm send out a lovely shiny catalogue with furniture and stuff that I’m interested in buying… but my local Dunelm store looks like a village hall that’s just finished hosting a jumble sale.

I caused havoc because having waited for 20 minutes for someone to measure out and cut some braid (and I had asked for assistance), I went ahead and did it myself.

When I presented it at the till without some kind of tag or barcode on it for the price to be scanned in, the cashier blew a fuse.

Just HOW long was I supposed to wait?

I posted on their FB page, but no response.

I have one, the pods are recycled by the council.

I got it because I don't have milk in the house on a regular basis so it means I can offer visitors a drink.

Tickets can be lost too, as can hand bags

I find all these company apps easier to connect with than pre app days, either chat bot, what's app, facebook, Twitter - they're ususlly fast to respond, use the tech to communicate with the tech

Apart from tech that improves the lives of people with disabilites

@ColourlessGreenIdeasSleepFuriouslyMajority of elderly are stubborn and don't do any tech, Even them owning a CD player is a stretch for them.

A relative who turns 90 next month frequents WhatApps family and friends, has her shopping lists and apps on there. She said one of her DGD showed her the ropes initially and rest of it, she has downloaded, signed up etc herself.

Yes of course.