To feel more lonely after going out with my friends?

[Pigling]

I've come home feeling really sad. We often meet up on a Sunday night but I didn't make it last week. I just felt a total outsider. Everything that was said didn't match my thoughts or values and I just kept thinking "I have nothing in common with these people". We've been mum friends for years and I'm thinking that no friendship lasts forever but they all seem fine, it's just me. I don't think no friends is better so I don't know what to do or think 😞

The friends are here for a reason, a season or a lifetime poem is explored a bit more here

https://www.selinamankarlsson.ch/80-a-friend-for-a-reason-a-season-or-a-lifetime/

I don't always gel well with other women, I'm also a sci fi fan, love reading and films, and love to have good in depth conversations about silly stuff or interesting topics, going to the hairdressers and just talking tedious small talk bullshit is my idea of hell

What in the fuck knuckles is this nonsense? Do you seriously think you're the only woman in the world who likes sci-fi, reading and films? Or that the average woman doesn't have in-depth conversations about silly stuff or interesting topics?

Jesus Christ. The internalised misogyny is strong with this one.

FWIW, I don't find small talk particularly easy, but last time I was at the hairdressers (for three hours; turns out dyeing your hair black and forest green is rather more complicated than I imagine) I spent about half that time reading my book with a cuppa while various dyes developed on my hair and for the other half my hairdresser and I chatted about:

• Why we think Liam Hemsworth isn't going to be as good as Henry Cavill when he takes over playing Geralt in next season of The Witcher
• Our favourite metal bands of the 1990s
• The unrecognised country of Transnistria and how to get there from Moldova, which led to a conversation about Socialist Realist art of the Soviet era
• Why all city breaks should include a visit to a cemetery
• The pros and cons of gentrification
• Soft drink adverts from our youth which we've since realised were a bit racist
• The most recent version of Nosferatu compared to the 1922 original and the 70s remake
• Which era of history we would most like to visit through time travel
• What hair salons can do to become more inclusive of people with autism
• 80s sci-fi cartoons (specifically Battle Of The Planets and Ulysses 31)
• Neolithic sites in Orkney and Shetland
• The Lovecraft Investigations drama series on Radio 4

Thanks OP for starting this thread. It's been strangely liberating for me. I have struggled for a few years now with this and now it seems blindingly obvious to me that it's time for me to move on and somehow find some new friends even if that proves hard at first.

I have always found friendships easy, and have still some amazing friends albeit they are far away. I'm sure I can find some new ones locally - I've been bashing my head over a brick wall for ages thinking there was something wrong with me (maybe there is and maybe they find me totally boring) but it doesn't matter, we have just outgrown each other, and that's ok 👌🏻

I’ve re-read your OP, OP, and I have been in your shoes EXACTLY and i did feel a huge sense of relief when I finally cut them off and extricated myself from the group. However, I can also completely understand if you don’t want to do that

apologies though as I’ve not RTFT

I’ve learnt the hard way not to let friendship circles or even seemingly close friends dictate your self worth. That has to come from within, if you don’t need them emotionally it’ll be easier to decide to go your separate ways.

I felt the same the last time I saw my mother group! The previous few times I'd felt worse after I'd seen them. Then something happened: 3 of us have DC in the same class, and nits have been a problem this school year. The other 2 started talking about how they'd texted each other when one of them got nits, the same child that sits next to mine. I had sent them text when my dd got them but never heard from them when the reverse was true. We've been eating sushi together for 10 years and I don't get a text? In that moment I was done.