Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Single mum - the internet making me feel terrible about myself

36 replies

PixieColou · 23/03/2025 22:17

Hi all. I’m 32 and a single mum of two. No dad on the scene and this has always been the case. That was their choices. I’m not a huge user of social media, but recently I’ve noticed so much hate aimed towards single mother’s (not father’s, infact, I’ve seen posts saying single father’s statistically do a better job than single mother’s, bla bla bla). The “funny” memes are endless, the comments are unbelievable. Mostly from blokes describing themselves as “high value” and talking about how ladies in my position are bottom of the pile. I’m aware of how algorithms work, and the more I clicked on these types of posts, the more they come up. I now hide them from my feed, but some still manage to find their way in. I never noticed these types of posts when my eldest was a tot (she’s now nearly 11) and infact, I’ve only ever received praise about what a great job I’m doing in the past, including from guys. Is this a rise in all the ‘red pill’ nonsense? I try not to let it but it does get me down. I’m a good mum, my children are my everything, my bills are paid, I don’t drink or do drugs, I’m not promiscuous, I’m a good friend etc. Although I’m not actively dating and never have tbh, I suppose there is a little part of me that hopes to find love someday. These comments are so off putting though that it makes me want to stay single forever to protect myself and makes me feel like nobody would want me anyway. Sorry that this is quite rambling. I suppose I’ve always carried a slight bit of shame that I don’t have the “traditional” set up, and I never knew that people would be so mean behind a keyboard.

OP posts:
Comedycook · 24/03/2025 17:06

I'm not a single mum op...but I have occasionally seen the things you mean. They are very incel-y....rest assured 'high value' men aren't spending their time on social media slagging off single mums. The type of men who like these types of post are generally residing in their mum's spare room and feeling bitter at the world.

Fwiw, I know single mums who have met really nice men with lots going for them and have ended up in happy relationships.

And yes as a pp said, there are some awful things on the internet....and if you look too much you can end up thinking that certain views and mindsets are more common than they are.

Loubylie · 24/03/2025 17:07

It's bullshit pushed out by bots. It's not even real. Please dont take it to heart. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
You're doing a great job.

Loubylie · 24/03/2025 17:09

Barack Obama turned out okay.

PassingStranger · 24/03/2025 17:10

The internet is a cesspit.

Igmum · 24/03/2025 17:12

I’m a single mum too [waves] and I’ve never seen anything like this. Definitely time to reprogramme your feed with cats and feminism 😃

PollyIndia · 24/03/2025 17:18

I'm also a single mum and my son's dad has never been involved, and I voted YABU, as I agree with some of the other posters who say you just need to not look at content like that. I'm sure we could all find opinions on the internet to make us feel shit about ourselves if we look for them, but why do that?! I just try to stay in my lane and do the best I can for my son, and I know I'm doing a good job. I run my own business, he sees me building something and creating employment and a solid community for others and working hard, and I know I set a good example. And most importantly, we talk.

DrCoconut · 24/03/2025 17:34

@PixieColou they probably would. I've been asked how/why i had my kids. Why I didn't have an abortion. Do I get benefits? Their mouths just open and out it comes. And I've been seeing a lot of borderline incel type content on social media recently. Really nasty and unpleasant stuff, especially about single mums. Bizarrely though some women are on board with the single mum hate. There was a thread earlier today that was straight out of Gilead with loads of women in support.

JHound · 24/03/2025 19:46

Loubylie · 24/03/2025 17:09

Barack Obama turned out okay.

Bill Clinton too-ish….and Stephen King!

JHound · 24/03/2025 19:47

DrCoconut · 24/03/2025 17:34

@PixieColou they probably would. I've been asked how/why i had my kids. Why I didn't have an abortion. Do I get benefits? Their mouths just open and out it comes. And I've been seeing a lot of borderline incel type content on social media recently. Really nasty and unpleasant stuff, especially about single mums. Bizarrely though some women are on board with the single mum hate. There was a thread earlier today that was straight out of Gilead with loads of women in support.

On Mumsnet??!?!

RobinHeartella · 24/03/2025 19:51

Any man who describes himself as "high value" is probably a complete dickhead and therefore anything but valuable

TaylorSwish · 24/03/2025 19:52

Single mums should be celebrated, most people probably feel like they should be.
And why the actual fuck do we still not focus our hate on the twatty absent dads?! It’s 2025.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread