Background: had a messy divorce and 1 year Non Molestation Order (NMO) against my ex after DV including sexual assault.
I now live in my own home as resident parent with DC, we have a Child Arrangement Order (CAO) and DC visits ex occasionally, usually alternate weekends for half a day and sometimes a midweek dinner after school.
Ex has to collect and drop back DC from my home, for reasons I won’t go into as I don’t want to be too outing. Needless to say, it’s part of the CAO for a good reason and can’t be changed.
The CAO reads that parents can alter the visitation times by mutual agreement, and only if DC is okay with it. Ex keeps changing it without notice or consultation with me first, resulting in DC often returning an hour or two late.
When Ex drops DC home or picks DC up, he often shouts for DC or holds conversation through the house at the front door, not shouting insults or aggressively, but nevertheless taking over the entire property with his booming voice. If you go as far back as the furthest, most distant room, it’s like he’s in the house!
He also knocks on windows when he’s rung the doorbell (it’s a ground floor property) and peers through them into the open plan living space and separately into the ground floor bedroom (though not my bedroom, thankfully). I have requested he stops this invasion of privacy, but “no” doesn’t mean “no” to him, and he does what he wants regardless of anyone else.
So I asked him to stop coming on the driveway or ringing the doorbell at all. This will solve the problem of him booming through the house and peering in through my home. I live on a road with loads of easy parking outside the driveway and when other people collect DC they often pull into the side of the road outside. It’s perfectly safe to do. I asked ex to do the same. But he doesn’t. He does what he wants and seems to take great pleasure in walking all over my request.
when I initially requested he doesn’t come onto the property (my friends had been telling me for ages I should stop him having access and I hadn’t dared to), I was surprised by how lighter I felt. I hadn’t realised I was carrying such a heavy load on my shoulders and it felt great that he wouldn’t be able to peer through my windows anymore. Of course this relief was short lived because he disregarded it and still does whatever he wants.
My question is, AIBU for wanting to get a new NMO prohibiting him from coming onto my property at all? Technically it’s trespass onto private property when someone has written asking you repeatedly not to. There is never a good reason to do this now DC’s maturity extends to walking out to the car (like I said, this is normal practice for other people). AIBU for even daring to think that I can stop somebody coming onto my property and peering in through my windows? Do I have to just put up with it and learn not to care?
I just feel a bit bad, as the first NMO was to protect me from physical harm and this would be to protect me psychologically by enforcing my boundary to keep a protected space from his micro-invasions. He’s not a physical risk to me anymore, which is what the first NMO was for. But I don’t know how else to stop him coming onto my property. Is there a different court order for this?
When the judge granted me an Occupation Order during the divorce, ex was prohibited from entering the driveway or family home without my written consent. The Occupation Order stopped the day I moved out, as I moved into my own home and he moved back into the old family home. As far as I understand it, I can’t apply for an Occupation Order again, since ex has never lived here and the divorce is done. I would want the same protection in my new home that the Occupation Order gave me in the old house, where Ex was barred, except by written consent agreement.
I hope I’m not being a snowflake here, please disagree kindly if you think I shouldn’t or can’t do this because a judge would not grant it.