When did no surnames become a thing?

[jewelcase]

There are bigger problems in the world, sure. But it was my younger DD’s school play the other night. The Y8s do a play every year, and this was hers.

In the programme, they listed the cast. But they only put first names. The school newsletter is the same. No surnames.

When did this start, and why is it a thing? I guess for some kind of safeguarding reason, but what’s the risk? It just seems to infantilise the kids, and you can’t tell one kid from another with the same name.

Is my kids’ school the only one? I suspect not.

AIBU to want surnames back?

I first saw it when oldest started secondary in 2019 - they only ever give first name and surname initial in newsletters etc. Seems a fair enough precaution for safeguarding for various reasons.

I used to be a probation officer, someone I used to manage, have recalled to prison, have given reports to social care about which informed legal decisions for him to not have even unsupervised contact with his own children, who has threatened me, to burn my house down, to kill me and my children in very descriptive ways (I didn't have any then), who tried to follow me home from the office etc, his children are now at the top end of the junior school where my child is in infant Y1. I know he's not allowed contact with them (legally) but his family are, I have an uncommon surname for this area and I wouldn't want him putting two and two together and coming looking for me or my child.

Ours puts name and class, and initial of surname if there's multiple with the same name. Don't see any need for surnames.

I guess more broadly my slight annoyance is that whilst safeguarding issues deserve respect I sometimes feel that we are over cautious to the detriment of our kids who remain infantilised, and perhaps this is one tiny and trivial example.

Eh? How is a child going to be infantilised by not having their surname in the programme of a school play? I can't follow your logic at all.

But people have come on here with their own personal experiences of why it's important and your still saying you think safeguarding isn't justified..
The schools that put full names are probably in a lucky and unfortunately rare situation of having a school full of safe children.
My son can't have his last name, nor his photo published anywhere other than letters to us because he is adopted and we cannot risk birth family tracing us.
I would never think not using a surname is infantalising. How often at work are you called by your full fordt and second name at the same time?

Happened to me and my year group. We did our GCSE’s in 2010. I felt sorry for the kids who only got 1 or 2 and had it plastered all over the local newspapers.

🤔I'm surprised you need it spelling out what safeguarding risks are of releasing a child's surname to the public. Alongside a location where they will be ect

I fled dv 8 years ago. Court ordered not to contact me or the children. He still doesn't know where we are, not for lack of trying. I'd have to change their schools and move area if their school made them public like that

My child and his class (year 5) had to be kept in their room and the police called because a mother had found out her son was attending that school. He was in care.

They took the child out under pretence of doing reading practice until the police had taken his mum away.

I must admit I took it more seriously after that.

Is it though? Is it proportionate and effective?

We have more safeguarding interventions now than ever before, including stuff like this. And yet in the same breath we’re told that kids are more vulnerable than ever before.

I wonder sometimes if we are outsourcing our kids’ safety to procedures and schools, rather than actively keeping them safe by proportionately judging risks and paying attention to them rather than all being stuck on phones.

I wonder how many parents telling me off for this thread know what their kids are upto online. No surname in the school play programme so thank God the kids are safe, but I bet they’re all on Insta in the school play dressing room.

I think they use first name and initial at my child’s school.

John S
Mary W

Does anyone remember how they'd introduce the children on things like Fun House? "This is Mabel Clark, she's 12 and her brother Peter Clark who's 13 and they both go to St John's Secondary School in Pontypridd".

So weird to think that no one even considered this might be problematic.

My daughter's school newsletter is hilarious. They do first names only but they'll also print photos of the children but with the school logo over the faces so you can't see the photo. I understand why but it does make me wonder why bothering printing the photo.

As an adult with an unusual surname, I understand this. I am not at risk but don't particularly want to be contacted by some of the people sho worked with my late husband. No reason, I just never liked them.

My teens friends all have private accounts. Like MillyPrivatexx etc as account names.

Not many kids leave thdir profiles for all to see.

Personal experiences are the enemy of good policy making. We should be looking at data, not individual cases.
Obviously, when presented with the emotional testimony of a tiny handful of people whose kids are vulnerable, it’s very hard to be rational. But the question should be, on all matters not just this trivial one, ‘What is the best solution overall?’ That might mean some people being less safe.

People take pictures and post them. It’s to protect childrens privacy. Some people don’t want to publicise their kid’s whereabouts

to the detriment of our kids who remain infantilised

Infantilise children? So you mean treat children as though they are … children? Okaaaay.

There's no detriment to a child whose name doesn’t appear in a school play programme. They are standing up among their peers and community – it’s known who they are. It is normal to them just as using surnames was normal to you.

Times move on.

But it's not about the majority, it's about protecting the minority. 29 kids in the class would be a absolutely fine with their surname published. 1 childs mother works in the police and has had threats against her and her families life. Or, that one childs mother has fled a domestic violence situation with a dangerous and obsessive ex who has thrratened to kidnap the child.
Are you saying your need to have your kids full name in the school play program should be more important than keeping that one child safe?

DH has a public role locally, our kids can never be in the local newspaper, school or activity social media, websites or even newsletters. I can't be recognisable as his wife on social media.

We have received threats and abuse.

His role is a) not that important and b) not terribly contentious, but there are total nobends out there who don't give a shit.

So no, putting our kids surnames would be a huge no no.

I sometimes watch some early Crimewatch on YT and I'm always a bit 😮 at how much they used to reveal about their witnesses. And often getting them to play themselves too in reconstructions, just to make them super easily identifiable.

No. But more broadly I wonder whether sometimes ‘safeguarding’ is overdone to the detriment of the general community.

Yep, children only get kidnapped or assaulted by people who know their surnames.
And not by family members they already know.

What a very silly post.

It’s obviously possible to infantilise a child. It’s why I no longer play peekaboo with my 13 year old.

Yes, getting a bit unhinged now.

At the school where I work it’s Amelia O, Joseph H which I think is a good compromising.

It’s for the youngsters’ privacy as well. What if one of them is very famous one day, and the press trawl back through their entire history and find something vaguely embarrassing?