7 year olds screen time

[nerf54]

sorry this is quite long! I am shocked by the amount of screen time our DSS 7 has on his iPad. We have a 2 year old so are not used to the screen time situation yet.

One evening last week I put it on charge for him and somehow i opened the settings icon or notification thing whilst plugging it in. It came up on the screen time tab and I was shocked to see how much he is on his iPad!
From only looking quickly at the graph it can be as early as 5am until school then 3pm onwards, sometimes until 9/10pm! Even though bedtime is 7.30. One day it had 3/4am showing on the graph but I don’t know if it would record apps open in the background?! (I know he has it in his room at his mums but I can’t imagine he’d be on it at that time of night!!) but averagely he will have 7 hours even on a school day. Is this normal at all? Do other children really spend that amount of time on their screens?

I know when he is at mums his dad has no input but we do limit how long he has on it when with us, although I must admit time does add up quickly but we make sure it’s not in his room overnight, always other things to be doing, homework/reading must be done first etc. He has told me in the past he wakes early when at mums as he gets more time on his iPad. We don’t allow it before school and he doesn’t ever wake much before we’d have to get him up anyway so I don’t understand how he is awake so early there. Sorry this has rambled on!

My DS is 7. He doesn't ever use it on a school morning. He might have half an hour after school when everything else is done. He will have a bit longer at weekends if we're having a chilled day at home or on a car journey but never more than a couple of hours a day.

It's nuts but there's nothing you can do about it other than give him more sociable/enjoyable options when he's with you.

I went for a walk with DS today by a lake. Family of 4 coming the other way all on their phones. One of them had 2 phones! People are weird.

Ds9 Dd5 have no screens all morning at all. They don’t have iPads or other things. They have a laptop used as a PC which is used for Scratch, creative writing, homework, music, maths, chess.

telly watching is unlimited at weekends but weekends are full of multiple sports and hobbies and matches and pesky birthday parties so… well .. “unlimited” is a bit limited really 🤣

This is excessive!
My son watches TV from 7-8am whilst we are getting ready for school.

He then has about 30 mins after school and maybe 30 mins before bed of tv or PlayStation.

He wouldn’t have access in his room definitely not!

Yes, it's completely excessive and negligent.

My DS is 7. No screens in the week and limited at the weekend. We try to stick to 1h15 mins of tv and 1hr 15mins of Switch each day. We average more as we tend to watch a movie on Sunday afternoon.

No screens upstairs in our house.

Take it off him. Now. Give it to him for limited time when you know he has it, preferably in your sight.

Even my teens don’t have that amount of time, they have no screens in the morning - never had. They leave phones downstairs at night, and they are restricted during the week on how much they can use phones.

This is ridiculous and unhealthy! What does he actually watch or play? Does DM know he is up at 4am watching stuff?
I would be worried about so much screentime.
My DD (nearly 10) has about an hour a day, but only if everything else is done (homework, reading, piano practice). Sometimes more on weekends when we watch something together or she has more switch time after a morning of dance classes.

Ds (8) has too much. Usually an hour in the morning before school, then 1.5 hours after school. But only allowed downstairs.

Weekends they have more - probably 2 hours in am and 1-2 tea time ish (that's total across switch, movies, ipad).

Try a routine as if you stick to it, it leaves less battles than constant requests eg no screen before 7.30am or after 7pm. Difficult if his mum doesn't back you up though.

Thanks all, I knew it was a ridiculous amount of time but having not been in this situation before I was intrigued on what “normal” is for others.

@SchoolDilemma17I don’t know if she does, but unfortunately (not trying to belittle her) she is a lazy parent and the iPad is easy as a distraction. He has it whilst eating breakfast and dinner when there, in the car to and from school. It’s honestly like it’s stuck to his hands. It seems games like Roblox, Minecraft maybe? But mainly YouTube i think.

Feel your pain.

DS has iPad with his dad and if we have to cross paths he has it with him or he’s sitting with his nose in it in the car.

they use their screens here to do educational activities then they go off in the week. Very occasionally will one be allowed to watch a tv show if they can’t agree. If any gaming is sneaking in it goes away and they lose the option. No switch during the week.

weekends are more relaxed but if they get too much i ask them to turn off for a bit.

*@Ihitthetarget

Ds (8) has too much.*

Do you think you need to change that?

@Ihitthetargetyes we try to have more rules between me and his dad here eg not before school, not after say 6.30 as bath/bed routine is starting and we have definitely noticed he will be awake longer if he’s been on it closer to his bedtime.
but yes, I don’t think mum would back us up unfortunately as it’s easy to give in (his behaviour isn’t always good there).

My son is 8. He doesn't own an iPad. He watches telly when he gets in from school until dinner. That's it. Don't get why such young kids get free rein on devices.

Don't get why such young kids get free rein on devices.
Because it's easier to give in than to find alternatives.

Mine doesn’t have it at all in the week as they’d wake up earlier to go on it and want to stay up late so we decided on a complete ban (they do have tv though) and weekends are more relaxed but still not all day as we do activities. YouTube is so addictive for kids and while it’s not all bad some of it is brain rot

Yes, the youtube he watches seems utter junk! Watching someone play and voice over a game. His dad is getting to the point where YT will be banned I think or at least a very minimal amount.

The weekdays he is with us we have so little spare time after school, with clubs and homework etc he won’t often go on it. Although it’s hard when even school sets work to be done online and they inevitably will get distracted by something else if you don’t keep an eye!

Wow that’s a lot! Screens are the Bain of our lives just now with dc7 we have a family iPad which they get for 30 mins in the morning. I took it out of the bedroom they used to listen to stories during the night but found they were getting up too early & going on it. Rule is 7am for a short time which works well. We have removed YouTube apps and banned the sites as it is garbage and inappropriate content. Also limited Roblox & Minecraft to 30 mins then it automatically goes off. they also play switch after school at times but never without an adult around. This has come about from recognising us being rubbish at limiting it: they do have quite a bit of tv time which I feel guilty for but they have balance with other activities. Winter months are worse for screens for sure!!

That’s honestly very sad.
😢 poor child, does he not have conversations with his mum at meal times or in the car?
anyway, you can implement time limits on ipads and I would do that at your house. Maybe DH could speak to his ex so your DSS at least doesn’t get up before 7am and can’t use it before then. He sounds like he is already addicted.
if you haven’t already read up on Jonathan Haidt or listen to a podcast with him.

Thanks all for your replies. @SchoolDilemma17 i can only imagine they don’t, I know it is very sad thinking about it. Although I’m sure he sees us as the “mean household” by not allowing it constantly and having more structured things going on!
I think he will need to bring it up with mum, although I fear it will be a head banging against a brick wall situation unfortunately.