Changing name by de poll

[Hartey40]

I’m thinking of changing my name to my partner’s surname, I’m divorced and I don’t want the name anymore, nor do I want to go back to my maiden name, as it’s a very unusual name and my father wasn’t a nice man, so don’t want the association. I am engaged to my partner but no immediate plans to marry yet, so wouldn’t be that strange to do this. Anyone else done this?

When I was 20, over 25 years ago I said I changed it due to tradition and how it was at the time. With current DH I did it because I knew my own mind and my reasons behind it. Luckily I am a confident, independent person who can make my own choices and are comfortable with those without attempting to ridicule others decisions.

Have you not learnt that changing your name to a partner’s isn’t a good idea? What happens when you split up too? A fourth name? Why don’t you just choose a name you like - and then keep it when you’re married. Take a name and own it rather than borrowing others your whole life.

Your nastiness aimed at the OP is unnecessary though. No need to tell people their personal preferences are ridiculous.

I changed my name a 2nd time, like I have stated I would not change it again though, its the same name as my DC so even if divorced and remarried (not happening) i would keep it. I didn't change it to be owned by DH, just to have a family name. I am comfortable with that, its been my name longer than my maiden name was now so it feels like mine.

It's called Deed Poll and is very simple. You can get a free template online or pay about £40 for an online lawyer to do it for you.

The faff is telling everyone and changing all of your documents, bank details, driving licence, passport, etc.

I've done it three times. Only once with a first name change, but always surname changes.

I am one of them and couldn’t be happier about it!

Edit: Saw further, somewhat nasty comment, and I didn’t change my name for any men, except to distance myself from relatives. My DH took my name, which I decided on.

I’ve addressed this. I will not be repeating myself.

Well I was happy to stay married, but my ex husband had other ideas. Yes I’m going to rebrand myself with a nice Spanish surname, why not? We only live once eh……

When we got engaged I changed my surname to dh's first name.
When we had dc he has dh's first name as his surname also. I kept his first name and didn't take his surname..

I don’t think I’m the pathetic one in this exchange.

Exactly, life is too short to worry about what others think/say. We had no negative comments whatsoever but all our friends were already married and had 'matching surnames' so wouldn't have given it a 2nd thought. I love it, a rebrand 😂

🤣🤣I’ve rebranded myself.

There’s having an opinion and there’s being rude. You could have stated your opinion diplomatically, you chose not to.

Surely not many people need to “look up” their mother’s maiden name? For a start, if you’ve got living maternal grandparents it’s their name (usually!).

Yes I know my mums maiden name , but don’t want that either

You posted less than a month ago that you are questioning your relationship because he drinks heavily and smokes too much weed and doesn’t give you what you need. I’m not sure you should be taking on his name tbh

I did this. So my son would have same surname as his Dad before we married (this was 1989). Uncommon surname. Registrar was very concerned when went to book the marriage that 2 identical unusual surnames getting married might be too close relatives. Had to show my official change of name letter from the solicitor to prove we weren't related.

It will seem odd in Spain as Spanish people don't change their names on marriage, so you simply don't get Mr and Mrs Spanish name.

I do think that it's weird that you're changing your name again to your male partner. You say you don't want to go back to your maiden name as it was your Dad's name, but do you not see it as being your mother's name too? Would you use her maiden name instead?

If you break up with your Spanish partner will you change your name again? Or keep it, and when people ask if you're Spanish, tell them that it's an ex-boyfriend's surname, which you took? It does sounds a bit crazy.

Yes fair point, however my maiden name is French and my dad wasn’t French, and never got asked why we had a French name growing up. Also when you say ‘everyone’ the people in my life know I’m with a Spanish man, so wouldn’t think it’s strange or weird, as they know how much it took to move on after a nasty marriage. But I do understand your thinking around this.,

That is correct I did, I was having a wobble.

No wobbles about another name change then?
You could create a new name - no rules to say you can’t. What about “Weedandbooze” to remind yourself of what you might be lucky enough to marry one day.
With respect, you have your priorities completely wrong. Learn to be independent of men who drag you down, don’t align yourself with them.

Ah OP, I never bothered to change my name at all so you can have my name change allowance and the balance of the universe shall be restored. 😉

Thank you 😊