Told not to lose anymore weight?

[lovemelikeasaylor]

I’ve not told anyone about my weight loss, but it’s at the point where it’s noticeable (4 stone down). I met up with friends yesterday and they commented that “you’re not going to lose anymore are you?!”

I am still overweight.

I had this from a few (always older) women work who I don’t know very well. I found is very patronizing and a complete overstep.

People seem to think they can comment on other peoples bodies! Totally inappropriate. The nearest I ever go in to compliment a new outfit or hair cut.

Ignore. I always come up with a good response ten minutes later.

Especially since the average height is 5'3" (or possibly 5'4").

I think it's nonsense people have lost sight of what a healthy weight is. You may not be able to tell when a friend slips a bit from a healthy BMI into overweight. The vast majority of us know what fat looks like.

I don't think it's necessarily jealousy. Obviously I wasn't there, but I would give them the benefit of the doubt. It may just be the contrast. If they've got used to seeing you a certain way, that is what they see as "normal" you. A significantly slimmer face may seem to them unhealthy, as a kind of optical illusion. It may just take time to get used to. Congratulations on your weight loss by the way. You don't need anyone's permission to lose nore weight. Keep doing you.

I had this when I lost weight afew years ago. Looking back I did look a bit guant in the face compared to a previous rounder face and I think that’s why people said it, rather than for sinister reasons. However it’s your body and you know what’s healthy and what your goals are so I would just ignore.

I’ve lost over 4 stone in the last year. I constantly have people saying the same to me.

My BMI is 31. I’m frickin obese. Of course I’m trying to get my weight lower.

I don’t get it either. I find it annoying and say “I’m still obese, I need to lose weight”.

I don’t know … since November I guess? I just went through a bad depression state where I didn’t eat and then when I was coming out of the fog and getting help I just started eating better and walking.

It hasn’t aged me at all, and currently no lose skin. I do what I can to prevent this as well.

I’m surprised that people have leapt to jealousy so quickly.

They could be just looking out for you.
If you’ve lost 4 stone quite quickly then they may be concerned about you.

Many people also look better carrying a bit of weight and perhaps think they you’re looking quite slim (even if the scales say differently).

Sometimes people just say it because complimenting someone on how good they look after they have lost weight, can often be quite offensive.
So it’s acknowledging your weight loss without telling you you looked bad before.

Obviously it depends how big you are - are you 20stone or 10stone, and what sort of friends these people are.

Weight is a very emotive topic. I don’t necessarily think it’s jealousy but I also don’t think those comments come from good place.

People don’t like to see people lose weight - because society looks down on overweight people. I have lost three stone and I am treated much better when I am in a smaller body.

People often don’t like to see others improve. Don’t want to see the fat person move into the slim category - don’t want to lose that feeling of superiority.

if you look at the backlash against and judgement around weight loss medication, a lot of come from the complication relationship society has with weight and obesity.

I think when someone has been very overweight and they lose a lot of weight, they can appear smaller by comparison, if you see what I mean.

I would respond to comments like this “well I know I look different but my BMI is still too high so I’m going to keep going until I’m in the “normal” range. But I know I must look very different to you, so understand why you said that.”

4 stone is a lot and if your friends are used to you over weight it may be a shock to see you loose a lot quickly

jealousy is a harsh conclusion to jump to ,
how are you calculating your goal weight ? Could it be genuine concern?

I wouldn’t be so meek. It’s rude to comment on someone else’s body. And patronsing to assume you have a better understanding of healthy weight loss.

After a long time of not knowing how to respond to these type of comments I have decided to laugh and saying ‘thanks, but I am happy with the medical advice I get from my doctor.’

And if people push, ask them what their expertise is in this field.

Mmm. I've also lost 4 stone. The scales tell me I'm at a healthy weight for my height and age. My clothes tell me I've lost the inches too. But in the mirror I still see a fat person.

Don't discount your friends' comments as jealousy. Sometimes they can see what you can't.

Do you have much weight to lose to reach healthy weight?

4st in what 5 months is a massively quick loss. Sadly when I get near healthy max weight I started to look at bit haggard.

I had similar after losing a similar amount. I'm still bit overweight but eat healthily - exercise a lot, take it seriously, and love it. That explanation was not accepted by some people who suggested: I neglect my dh; am obsessed; no longer enjoy life; don't have time for anything else etc etc. Apart from occasionally pointing out that I spend as long in the gym as some people do on beauty regimes, the pub, watching football and so on (none of which are my bag - fine if they are yours but I don't lecture you on neglecting your family) I ignore it.

This approach is excellent for repeat offenders!