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AIBU?

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Original poster

Acceptable time for friends to come round at weekend

29 replies

KeenRubyTurtle · 23/03/2025 08:45

My 9 year olds friend comes round every weekend at 9am, he's not invited. I find this a bit early, as after a busy week at work and early starts we all look forward to chilling out in our PJs. However this morning he came round at 08.30, it's Sunday I'm not even up yet. Am I being unreasonable, what do I say to his parents as there's no point in saying anything to his friend as he doesn't get it. The door was locked and my son told him through the letter box it was too early.

OP posts:
LollyLand · 23/03/2025 08:46

Sounds like the parents just want him out the house. You should turn him away.

curtaintwitcher78 · 23/03/2025 08:47

Don't answer

DenholmElliot11 · 23/03/2025 08:47

Answer the door, say you're all still in bed and to come back at 10 when you'll be ready.

AppleKatie · 23/03/2025 08:48

Don’t let him in before you deem it appropriate! It’s your house…

redphonecase · 23/03/2025 08:48

Do you invite him? Why does he come every weekend?

beautyqueeen · 23/03/2025 08:49

I wouldn’t be answering the door at that time! You need to speak to the parents and put some boundaries in place, sounds like they’re taking the piss!

QuirkyWriter · 23/03/2025 08:49

Surely, when he’s at the door asking to come in you say “not right now, you can come over at 11/whatever time you’re happy with” or you say “not today, we’re having a quiet day, see you another time.” You don’t have to let them in!

Maviaz · 23/03/2025 08:50

Just turn him away at the door. You need to nip this in the bud of you’ll have this all summer. He’s probably an early riser and been up for 3 hrs already!
“Sorry we are busy at the moment and DS won’t be able to play until 11am. You’re welcome come back then if you want”

Superstar22 · 23/03/2025 08:51

I’d text his mum and say “we have a slow morning at the weekends, so please don’t send Tom round until 10am at the earliest, we are not ready to see him” then I would forbid the kids answering the door. YANBU

WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 23/03/2025 08:56

I imagine his parents are enjoying a lie in whilst you look after their child for them. What’s the earliest time you would be happy with? If it’s 10am then I’d add an hour and message his parents that so you’ve got a bit of leeway. Also is it always at your house?

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 23/03/2025 08:57

Yes, you're their free weekend childcare now.

ThejoyofNC · 23/03/2025 09:06

I wouldn't have him turning up unannounced anymore. Text his parents to say they need text you first to check if it's okay for him to come round.

Pineapplewaves · 23/03/2025 09:08

After lunch would be a suitable time in our house. And only if we didn’t have any other plans.

Skyecourtney99 · 23/03/2025 09:09

You need to turn the child away, it’s a case of boundaries and have a conversation with the parents as this will clear the air hopefully, hope this helps.

toomuchfaff · 23/03/2025 09:11

Surprised at the responses here.

Turn away the 9yr old, at 8.30am Sunday, instead of get onto the parents and give them shit about booting their child over to your house.

It's the parents who need to be told, not the 9yr old.

my mind immediately goes to being a latchkey kid where no one gives a damn 🙄

SillySallie · 23/03/2025 09:12

As Pinepplewaves said early afternoon but only if we had no other plans. I agree you’re being used for weekend care.

JMSA · 23/03/2025 09:17

It’s not the child’s fault. It should be his parents teaching him that this isn’t appropriate. They want him out of the house and he’s following their lead.
It needs to be tackled through them.
A simple text asking them not to send him so early on the weekends should suffice.

Zanatdy · 23/03/2025 09:18

Send him home again and tell him what time he can come. Personally I would find it really annoying him coming all the time. If you let him in, he will keep coming.

Nolongera · 23/03/2025 09:19

The acceptable time is whatever you choose, could be 9am could be 1pm, could be never.

Your house your rules.

DingDingRound3 · 23/03/2025 09:20

toomuchfaff · 23/03/2025 09:11

Surprised at the responses here.

Turn away the 9yr old, at 8.30am Sunday, instead of get onto the parents and give them shit about booting their child over to your house.

It's the parents who need to be told, not the 9yr old.

my mind immediately goes to being a latchkey kid where no one gives a damn 🙄

Yes I would wonder what is going on at home.

HenDoNot · 23/03/2025 09:22

9 years old is perfectly old enough to understand “you can’t come in this early, come back later, after 11am”.

Katkins17 · 23/03/2025 09:23

This happened to us a few years back. Sundays were always our stay in bed, with a cup of tea mornings, and our young son joined us. We’d chat and laugh, and after working 6 days, this was my Sunday sanctuary.

The neighbour over the road would allow her son to ring the bell continuously from 8am to call for my son to play.

on one occasion, after ignoring it for 40 minutes ( weeks previously I’d answered the door and told him we’re all in bed still and it’s too early) she phoned me to ask why I was ignoring her son, and why were we being so mean, when all he wanted was my son to play with him….

to say she got a mouthful is an understatement. Unfortunately, their friendship didn’t last as we were deemed ‘very mean people!’

some folk are weird !!

Longsummerdays25 · 23/03/2025 09:23

I would be firm about this directly with the parents (not the child) and also wouldn’t be comfortable about being used as childcare. Send a text or drop them a note and be polite but clear. You enjoy relaxed mornings as a family and would prefer no guests until this x time.

It’s not the child’s fault, so I wouldn’t embarrass them at the door. No.

curious79 · 23/03/2025 09:25

I don’t think you need to embarrass the child. I think you’re more likely to embarrass the child if the message goes to the parents. If your son likes the child, then it’s very easy for you to say to him ‘we like having you here, but can you not come before eg 10’ (or whatever time suits you)

AlisonDonut · 23/03/2025 09:26

Tell the parents to look after their own child and stop kicking him out of the house with nowhere to go?

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