To think this is extremely odd thinking of my chum? Cheeky fucker alert.

[Cheekyarsechum]

My DFriend 5 children have nearly all left home and they're looking to downside by selling and moving to a smaller property.

They want to give their home a good lick of paint and replace the bathrooms, convert an out building to a home office and a secondary outbuilding to a sauna and steam room (they already have a lovely pool) to maximize the value.

DH and I are currently working and sorting out some family admin in our home country for 6 months and have left our 2 DD happily at home (1 at a local university, 1 working casually on a gap year prior to traveling in the summer).

DF's father works in construction and will project manage the work and has recommended 2 excellent young men to do the 8-12 week work on their property. They lodge wherever the work is.

I'm over for a short weekend and met her for coffee yesterday, she's asked if these two lads can lodge at ours (we have 2 spare rooms) while the work is carried out.

I think my face told her how bonkers I thought her request was, but I kinda stuttered and said it wouldn't work for us, and why don't they stay in one of their spare bedrooms? Apparently her older left home DC don't want strangers in their childhood rooms, and she doesn't really want to have to have to engage with strangers in her own home.

AIBU to this a most ludicrous unthought-through request?

It all sounds a bit dodgy. Where do they live between work, and why can’t they live there during work?

I’ll definitely be told I’m being dramatic for this, and I probably am, but I’d be worried there’s some sort of exploitation going on.

I don’t think there was anything wrong with asking. You might not have minded at all. She is have the same ‘unknown males’ in her own home so not sure why it’s outrageous to think you could have them in yours if you wanted some extra cash.
I live somewhere where plenty of wealthy people let random unknown people (presumably some are male) stay in their houses while there is a big event in town.

It seems a reasonable request to me. Some people might welcome extra company in the house or some extra income from temporary paying guests. You aren't one of those people so said no.

A cheeky fucker would assume you would keep them. She just asked a question and you declined. Nothing cheeky about it.

I don’t see how it was unreasonable. She asked, you said no, end of issue.

She knew your house had spare space while you are away and might have thought your DCs would welcome the extra money. I expect she thought "no harm in asking". It would only have been cfery if it was asked as a favour with no payment offered.

@FortyElephants and @TheCurious0range I would think lodging nearby in AirBnB etc is quite normal but in the OP’s post she said her friend asked as she didn’t want the workers in her spare bedrooms 🤷‍♀️

Is a sauna not one of those things that make a house less attractive? Or at a minimum you will never get your money back?

Your friend is nuts.

That's bizarre but the comment I replied to indicated lodging in the area where the work is was unusual

Hmm. I said no, and have moved on. Just using litmus of MN.

Indeed. 2 strangers with 2 young women, no parents.

I just can't believe she considered it thoroughly.

We don't need the money, so that wasn't part of the equation.

It's her FIL's firm!

... to a sauna and steam room (they already have a lovely pool) to maximize the value.
Adding a sauna and steam room just makes it tacky rather than adding value.

Yes I thought investing in big renovations is a bit daft, walloping the walls to make it fresh makes sense to me, a big declutter but that's about it. I think she's living in a bit of a fantasy world where she thinks this will add value.

They tend to head back to their country (Eastern Europe) to see family in any lulls between jobs.

The nature of construction (her FIL's firm is shopfitting) is you finish a job, you head to the next location. They travel all over the country usually lodging in B&Bs or Travelodges etc

Crazy idea.

And let’s be honest, if she can afford a pool and to add a sauna etc she can foot the bill for a b&b for them.

Nah she's wanting it on the cheap and thinks you are the mug who is going to lump all the inconvenience and not to say- potential risk.

Screw that.

I think its cheeky to ask. Ridiculous actually. I don't agree with the 'there's no harm in asking' narrative. Many people especially natural people pleasers find it hard to say no or feel guilty afterwards. It's extremely uncomfortable.

Her FIL's firm should be providing accomodation for their workers like any other firm does.

Yes this. I was a people pleaser for decades. We live in a tourist area and would have people call us up round about May on the pretence of 'catching up' but really asking us if they could use our place as a base while they enjoy everything the locale has to offer. Never hear from these people at other times of the year. DH is the same- a naturally generous host.

In 2023 we had the entire summer holidays with guests - in total nearly 28 people came through our doors for nearly 9 weeks without a break.

So I ordered two skips and emptied the guest rooms of beds and turned them into a play room and a mini library. Drastic but effective.

Truth is we should have just said 'No' before it got to that. Our fault entirely.

A) it's ridiculous
B) surely the fact that the men are "lodging where they work" is either built into the price or a bad sign of un/under paid workers doing the bulk of the work - like how is that even legal & what are the health implications as builders are already a high risk group for lung problems working around material dust ?

given that she is a CF..
I'd make sure you tell your DC who are living there when you are not of her "offer" which you have refused.
In case your DC get a call from her saying its a complete emergency, could they possibly stay for a few days and she's spoken to you about it... so that you've briefed them to say a firm no.

So basically there unpayed/uninsured workers brought over for profitable jobs & are returning when work drys up ?

Get to fuck they'll be staying at your house & also I would heavily look down at my "chum" for employing a company that uses (abuses really) they sort of workers

I agree with this. Yes she was completely unreasonable to ask and put you on the spot t like that.

So she doesn’t want the builders in the house with her kids because of the inconvenience but fine for random men to stay with your daughters? I would have been really angry with her for asking.

Yanbu and she's ridiculous to ask.