To feel grief and like a failure

[Mothersload4]

Has anyone gotten a divorce and just felt like a complete failure even if you know you aren’t in the wrong and things can’t possibly be worse if you’re separated. I know it’s coming and I feel such bitterness after all I’ve put up with the have ‘The family’. Even writing it down, it’s so stupid, it’s not 1920, half the people I know are separated but I feel so embarrassed at it. I wanted the happy ever after for my own children to a ridiculous extent, after my own interesting childhood and I’ve accepted I’ve backed the wrong horse for that, but it’s a feeling almost like grief. I know I’m low, I’ve been wore down and honestly I’m a little broken but I just want to be rational and give myself a chance at happiness but I just circle back. Has anyone else been this way? Thanks if you got this far into the pity party!

@Mothersload4 ive not been in your situation but didn’t want to read and run. The end of a relationship, for whatever reason, is emotional and challenging in lots of ways. You are grieving the loss of your imagined future, the security you had and the fear of the unknown. Give yourself time to process your feelings and heal.

You are not a failure, relationships end for a multitude of reasons and even in the best circumstances sometimes people can’t make it work. You are brave to be moving on, you are strong for knowing you deserve better. Don’t fall into the sunk cost fallacy, the only thing worse than being in the wrong relationship is staying in the wrong relationship once you come to that realisation.

Families come in all shapes and sizes, there is no right way to be a family.

Yeah I have experienced it the first month I got divorced but I have moved on now.