To think my divorce has changed me forever

[Notella]

I thought I had met the love of my life until he left for OW. I can’t believe I trusted a man, I feel like I am changed for ever and will never ever be so gullible. Is it a bad thing?

Life does change us, that's normal. How you're making sense of what happened now, might not be the same way you always see it though.

How fresh is this for you?

Long term, you'll probably view it as a change for the better.

It’s been about a year but I’m still no where near ready for dating. Been on a few dates but it doesn’t help.

I'm 10 years post a similar split and it absolutely has changed me. And I think not for the better. I'm still sadder and more cynical than I was before. And I will never trust anyone ever again.

I feel like that is how I feel

It does change you forever but that's not a bad thing. My exH cheated many times and it destroyed me... but I used it as an opportunity to rebuild myself. I had therapy for around 3 years and learnt a lot about myself in the process and I am much much happier in myself. Yes, I am more cynical (or is it realistic?!) but I have met someone new and I do trust him to not hurt me on purpose. He's shown me everything that was wrong in my relationship with my exH, and i bow realise how it truly feels to be loved and respected. It's taken a lot to get here but I have learnt to trust myself again, that's the key bit. It's early days still OP. Hang in there xx

I have been having some therapy through work so hopefully that will help a lot and change my negative thinking. I’m a great believer in what is meant for you will not pass you by? Anybody else? Or is that just wishful thinking

It took me a few years to get over my divorce I’m sorry to say. I literally didn’t feel right or like myself for probably 3 years but then after that everything changed. My life realigned, I got back on track and then life was so much better. It’s a process but keep the faith x

I would agree. It took me about 4 years.

So you felt better than you were when you were married? Happier now?

Completely different. I got divorced in 2017 and it felt like my entire world came crashing down, it took time to realign. Met my now husband in 2021 and he proposed 6 months later. We got married in 2022 and I have never been happier x

I'm sorry OP, it's really tough. I'm one year post separation. My exDH didn't cheat, but was basically emotionally abusive for years. I thought at this point I would pretty much be healed, but I still cry a lot, and feel sad and angry about so much. Feel very lonely at times but nowhere near ready to date again. I also feel like how can I ever trust a man again.

I think we just have to have faith that time will help the healing process. Take care.

It’s annoying she just seems so happy with OW. Wouldn’t surprise me if they got married and had more dc