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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have read receipts from my WhatsApp to my dead relative.

96 replies

SomethingMorethanthis · 22/03/2025 12:29

I have searched online, and cannot find the answer. Maybe somebody can explain this in a none supernatural, and logical way. My parent died over a year ago, their phone is deactivated, doesn't exist anymore, network informed, it is all completely shut down.
WhatsApp expired where my parent's picture disappeared, as it does when the account goes. I have our WhatsApp chain still on my phone, my parent's phone number ia still in my contacts. I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to delete this.

I often send my parent messages, updating them about my life, and expressing my feelings. It sounds absolutely crazy! I know my parent is gone in every way, doesn't exist anymore. I don't believe in ghosts, heaven and believe that there is nothing after death. I send these messages because it helps me. There is obviously now always just one grey tick because these messages will never ever be delivered, or read.

Well today I clicked on info, which I haven't done before. All of the messages have 2 grey ticks for delivered with a little line under where the time usually is, and 2 blue ticks for read with a little line underneath where the time would be as well. On the outside, it has the usual one grey tick as you would expect.

Why is this occurring?

OP posts:
Elderflower14 · 22/03/2025 19:35

Edited as wrong thread.

Willoo · 22/03/2025 19:40

KrisAkabusi · 22/03/2025 12:36

Because literally everyone that gets a phone uses WhatsApp. And WhatsApp links to your phone number, not to anything else. So yes, whoever has that number now is getting messages from the OP.

I don’t have WhatsApp at all so not Literally everybody

Ubugly · 22/03/2025 19:42

I agree 2 grey ticks means delivered to a device as one grey tick is not delivered.

Whatthebarnacles · 22/03/2025 19:45

As others have said, the number is recycled.

I'm only writing to say though, that something similar happened to me. My DF had been gone for around a year but I kept our last WhatsApp conversation. Imagine the panic when I opened WhatsApp one day to see ' Dad typing...' I deleted the thread in an honest to god shit-myself moment - massive regret. So, I feel you. ❤️

OopsIDidItAgainSeriously · 22/03/2025 20:02

OP after my dad died the hospital where he died phoned me to collect his stuff. I was sitting in the garden with my mum and my phone starting ringing and as usual the name comes up (if the number is programmed into your phone with a name).

My ringing phone said 'dad'. I couldn't believe it.

Then I thought wait a minute the hospital have his phone among his belongings surely they must have used it then to call me (bit weird of them but ok makes sense re 'dad' coming up on screen)

Checked number in call log to see who had just called and the number that came up was for the hospital ie it was the hospital number and not my dads mobile number. So they had not used his phone. They had used the hospital telephone.

Make of that what you will. I like to think it was my dad saying 'hi, I'm ok, don't worry' but who knows.

Teanbiscuits33 · 22/03/2025 20:09

OP says there is only one grey tick when she opens the message thread but when she long presses a message and selects ‘info’ two grey ticks show up without a time stamp, and two blue ticks without a time stamp are below it. The ticks show up anytime anyone with WhatsApp clicks on ‘info’ on a message, but the fact OP’s shows no time stamps because they haven’t been delivered or read is normal. The number hasn’t been reallocated or hacked.

TimeForaChangex · 22/03/2025 20:24

SomethingMorethanthis · 22/03/2025 14:33

https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/eat4ik/awomankepttextingherdeadfatherupdateson/

Not sure if this link will work, but dh just showed me this case, what a lovely reply from the new owner of the number.

Edited

That made me well up (or more)

Charlize43 · 22/03/2025 20:53

I don't think it sounds crazy at all.

It's totally possible that in Heaven they have 5G. They're probably using the very latest iphones - the ones that haven't come out yet.

In Hell, they're using Nokias.

BoldAmberDuck · 23/03/2025 17:55

Try sending a message and ask if anyone can respond. So sorry this is happen must feel very upsetting

Teddybear23 · 23/03/2025 18:03

Pancakeflipper · 22/03/2025 12:35

Would someone having that phone number mean they can set up a Whats App and its going to them?

They do re-issue telephone numbers. I used to phone my dead dad on his birthday on his mobile number, which we both know is a bit nuts.. He died 7 years ago. And last year someone answered the phone.

I still ring my dad’s number and text him even though he died in 2016😢 sounds daft to some people but I miss him so much😢

Teddybear23 · 23/03/2025 18:05

SomethingMorethanthis · 22/03/2025 12:39

When rang the number comes up "invalid number", with the dead dialling tone. Nobody else has it.

Wow that is odd🤔

catlover123456789 · 23/03/2025 18:13

I can only think the number has been reused, but the new owner has blocked your number, OR its a bug in WhatsApp. I wouldn't text the number again though, perhaps write letters instead? I'm sorry for your loss.

MoonWoman69 · 23/03/2025 18:14

Definitely reallocated number.

Teddybear23 · 23/03/2025 18:15

SomethingMorethanthis · 22/03/2025 14:33

https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/eat4ik/awomankepttextingherdeadfatherupdateson/

Not sure if this link will work, but dh just showed me this case, what a lovely reply from the new owner of the number.

Edited

Wow that had me in tears 😭 what a lovely man and it was so sad but happy too ❤️

Clafoutie · 23/03/2025 18:23

KrisAkabusi · 22/03/2025 12:36

Because literally everyone that gets a phone uses WhatsApp. And WhatsApp links to your phone number, not to anything else. So yes, whoever has that number now is getting messages from the OP.

Not everyone uses WhatsApp, they literally don’t!

Mmpip · 23/03/2025 18:59

SomethingMorethanthis · 22/03/2025 12:33

They aren't supposed to give dead people's numbers out again, but I bet it does happen. Does this mean who ever has my parent's number (if it has been reallocated) would get my messages? I have no idea, but I need to know why this is happening.

Yes this happened with me. My beloved twin sister died and I continued to send her messages telling her how much I loved her.
I eventually got a reply from someone telling me that they now had that number and were receiving my messages...😥

Donahelen · 23/03/2025 20:15

I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️. Do carry on and focus on the things that make you happy, as they would have wanted.

I sort of had the opposite once. A dear relative died and I never deleted their number in my phone. Months later, my phone rings and dear deceased relative's name popped up on my phone as incoming caller. It was like a blow to the chest. Turned out their phone had sat around for a few months and eventually been given to a younger relative to use. It was heartbreaking changing the name in my phone to the new owner of the number, took me a while to bring myself to do it.

Lyraloo · 23/03/2025 20:19

KrisAkabusi · 22/03/2025 12:36

Because literally everyone that gets a phone uses WhatsApp. And WhatsApp links to your phone number, not to anything else. So yes, whoever has that number now is getting messages from the OP.

Nobody has the number, she’s already said it’s a dead number. Stop frightening her!

Lyraloo · 23/03/2025 20:34

SwedishEdith · 22/03/2025 14:44

Hmm, I'm not sure. a) if it's true and b) how I'd feel knowing someone had been reading my innermost thoughts for four years. If it's true, she surely couldn't have carried on messaging her "dad" anymore.

I think it’s lovely, they both needed something and without ever knowing each other, gained some comfort. No harm done!

Crocsareanoforme · 23/03/2025 21:45

My uncle passed away during covid, about 2 months ago I got a notification that uncle corcsareanforme has joined Snapchat - it was awful but clearly his number had been reallocated.

Dogsbreath7 · 24/03/2025 06:22

My dtr had a temp no when changing providers. I accidentally messaged on WhatsApp because I hadn’t deleted and someone replied. I would bet the number has been allocated.

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