Friday evening bad work news

[Rosie8880]

Hi. I had a meeting with my manager on Friday afternoon to discuss work. We ran through items and closed out meeting. On Friday late evening (8pm) I receive a instant message that something that was supposed to have happened (which we had discussed in our meeting), that didn’t, was very disappointing. Signing off have a good weekend. Which communicates they had been mulling over our conversation and felt need to reiterate in writing albeit IM. The previous Friday we both experienced a crap situation which this week we spoke about impacting our weekend. I feel so annoyed that this was sent to me late Friday especially as we discussed and also anything more, the earlier meeting was the place to discuss. I’m anxious and feel on edge. This could have waited til Monday or been dealt with a few hours before, I feel. I take on board the comments but I feel it’s unreasonable to communicate this late on Friday esp as we had had a meeting just a few hours before. I empathize my manager is very stressed generally, and appreciate they are being professional but the timing and to a lesser degree, the method of communication , I feel was unreasonable. Keen to hear all sides of views.

Admittedly I work very close to home but I would consider going in for an hour or two this morning and getting it done if possible just so I can enjoy the majority of my weekend and not beat myself up and get wound up.
Probably not the healthiest attitude but with my MH at the minute I just need to avoid confrontation.

It isn’t something that can be done over weekend, it is organizing something that requires input of others, that needed to be postponed due to some others required to be attending not able to do so. It will take reorganization.

They’re making it clear that you’ve done something wrong and they didn’t feel that was clear in your chat. Either they were too soft or you were too flippant. That’s why they followed up.

if it was via work communications and you voluntarily looked at 8pm they’ve done nothing wrong. You can’t win with these things - I’ve also been complained at my line reports that a 9am Monday email was unfair and they wanted the weekend to digest it away from work.

if it was via personal communications then yes, it’s out of line

That’s a bit shit . They should have done a follow up message in whatever usual comms to sum up your handover and used that to reiterate how they felt. Other wise what? How is that useful, it’s not a direction it’s just a telling off.

I don't think it is professional to send an IM in those circumstances. Just reiterating something which has already been said. You can't do anything about it, they know you can't do anything about it. Essentially they are just spoiling your weekend and probably know this.

Was it to your personal device/contact number or a work messaging service?

I think if it was to my personal WhatsApp, it’s way out of line. If it’s a works teams chat, that I choose to access out of working hours, it’s more of a grey area.

I would say most of what you’ve said in the OP - put the boundary in (for you both at this point) but also include the bit about not being able to do what it was until x, y or z were involved.

This is a good take. Appreciated. In the same meeting I raised / discussed changes happening as result of restructure and my manager’s role moving fwd. they are taking a step back from my work area and I spoke on how it would be useful to formalize their role more clearly as senior decision maker moving fwds. They felt differently and felt that talking about governance was a distraction and to focus on delivering, bringing up said example.

Why are you logged into a work instant messaging service when you're not at work?

Seems the easier way to protect yourself - turn off everything work related out of hours unless you are on call.

If they sent you a message on your personal account, I would agree it's unacceptable. If it's on your work account and you chose to look, then I think that's on you.

This is true. I have a work phone it vibrated I checked / I need to put in place boundaries.

Work phone off immediately you finish for the day. I am absolutely militant about this.

I agree it’s better to turn phone off; but actually I’m not sure they should be sending it on a Friday night anyway, sounds like they don’t have boundaries. Also sounds like they have been stressing over things. Might be good to have a chat with them on Monday with your plan for sorting out whatever situation this is.

I used to do this - I really will be now! I just felt the ending of the messsge - have a good weekend - acknowledged it is the weekend and agh… drawing a line under this now. Boundaries! Thanks for message it’s appreciated

They can send anything they want if they are daft enough to be working out of hours. There would be no expectation of the person receiving it or acting on it at that time, but it'll be there for when they return to work.

Unless you have a business who regulate hours of course which it doesn't sound as though this is.

Both parties are unreasonable here for different reasons. Neither should be working out of hours.

A work phone should go off the moment you finish work and on again when you next start work. This a boundary everyone should put in place. To be fair to the manager, they didn’t necessarily mean for you to read it on Friday evening, the ‘have a good weekend’ is something I would write on a Friday afternoon even if I didn’t think the recipient was going to open it till Monday.

Having said that, I remember going to staff management training many years ago when I first became a team leader, and it was explained to us that bad news should NEVER be delivered on a Friday afternoon, as it will inevitably cause the receiver to dwell on it/worry about it all weekend, when they are powerless to address it. That has always stuck with me, and I’m annoyed when I hear about managers doing this. It’s as if they are offloading the worry from their shoulders for the weekend but heaping it onto the staff member’s shoulders instead and that is really inconsiderate and unprofessional.

They work all hours and I am empathic ti that - atm it’s required. I’ve done their job in another company and understand the immense pressure and lack of time in working hours to resolve all - it’s just not feasible. Due to cuts resource is shrinking. My plan really is to just progress get stuff done. They are also about to take a 3 week holiday and stressed I think on getting stuff done ahead of this. I want to excel and I respect them highly so am also disappointed in myself to a degree. I disagree with them on some points I raised but atm I am not going to push more. It’s not the time.

Honestly, you can’t leave your work phone on, then complain that work stuff being communicated after hours is ruining your weekend!

I hope you get it all sorted.

It was inappropriate of them to send that text, it's very passive aggressive and designed to make you worry over the weekend. I can't stand this behaviour. Refuse to take it on board and don't stress. Send a breezy text back Saturday morning agreeing that it is indeed disappointing that it had to be postponed due to others inability to attend. Make it clear you are not accepting the blame he's trying to place on you. Put the blame back where it lies and put it out of your mind 💐

Hi all - I’m logging out. You have all REALLY helped me gain perspective and also take accountability for my own boundaries and actions THANK YOU all. You are a great bunch. Enjoy your weekends ❤️❤️

Aw thank you. Tbh I’m not replying to this on IM
nor over weekend. I’ll be putting action plan in place on Monday morning to resolve. They also can then have a quiet weekend away from work messages and see progress on Monday. Your words are kind and appreciated X