So, AIBU, or a bitch, or what? Please tell me your thoughts, or if you have ever done something similar.
So next week is mother's day. Dh will not do anything special on this day for me, never has. The past however many years, we've gone to see his mum. It dawned on me last year that I don't actually want to spend my mother's day, seeing his mum, so we went the day before instead. My mum passed away when I wad a child, so it's a day mixed emotions for me, especially since becoming a mum myself.
Now here's the thing. My dh never spends time with us on weekends, or comes anywhere with us. Ever. Unless it serves him (e.g. he might spot a new species of bird where we're going that particular day). I'm default parent, always. I can count on one hand how many times he came anywhere with us last year. My oldest actually prefers that he doesn't come anywhere with us, because he says its more relaxing. Dh is very selfish and to quote "doesn't want to spend his time at playgrounds". He hardly ever lets me know his plans, or check they're ok, and he hardly ever asks what we're doing, or if we've had a nice time.
So here's the thing. Next weekend he'll assume we'll go to his mums for a mothers day visit, either day, because that will suit him. AIBU to just treat it as another weekend and make plans with the kids, that I won't change, because I'll 'assume' he's too busy to spend time with us, as usual?
Also, just to add. I am getting my ducks in a row slowly, I feel so so sad for my kids especially when I see other attentive/unselfish dads out and about.