What is it like to have a good mum?

[cheekycee]

what is it like having a Good mother?
I mean this wanting 0 sympathy etc please don’t get me wrong.
it’s just I sat down this evening and thought… well I actually have no one to go to with my problems or to vent to. But is that not usually your mum? Then I thought, I wonder what’s it’s like to have the feeling of having a “mum”. My mum is alive. In fact I live with her (temporarily due to fleeing DV) but she doesn’t speak to me (not important).
im a great mum to my kids and always will be as although I don’t know what it is like to have a good mum I definitely don’t want them to wonder what it is like also.
is it really like having a best friend? Does your mum help you out? Give advice etc? Make you feel loved etc?? Just curious :)

One positive, yiu are living with her in her home having fled DV.

Definitely not a best friend type relationship but we live within 5 minutes of each other and see/ talk to each other at least weekly. She has and continues to be a huge support emotionally and helped with grandkids when needed. My parents have helped financially too. We've gone on holidays together and have another nice one planned for later in the year.

My Mum is definitely my best friend. She is the one person I always go to for advice, she is always there for me no matter what. She is an amazing grandmother and always goes out of her way to put her family first. As a teenager I was always able to confide in my Mum, she was always very understanding and I never felt afraid to tell her anything. I really hope that my children will feel the same.

I am not good enough for mine, luckily she did get her perfect child but it wasn't me.

I am pretty sure I turned history on its head with my two kids, they know they can come to me about anything (and they do).

My mum always has my best interests at heart. Any advice she gives me is unequivocally coming from a place of love. She loves my children and would do anything for them and treats my husband like her own son. She is intelligent and thoughtful and loyal and not a bit like me at all so a great sounding board to give an alternative opinion. She’s the first person I phone if I have a problem

My mum would have died for me. I had such love and support from her, she was wonderful. She was my rock. We could talk about anything, we laughed at the same things. When she died I remember thinking that I would never know love like that again.

That’s really interesting thank you :)

Because you’re worrying about being a good mum. No bad mother worries about that. Everyone doubts themselves but I’m sure you’re doing amazing. Keep it up x

My mum is 80 and I’m only just getting to know her as a person in her own right, and she’s lovely. My DF passed away 3 years ago now and he was pretty controlling and I always wanted to get to know her as “her” and I’m finally getting that time so it’s precious to me.

I do find her judgemental and is very clearly a different generation some of her comments are a bit “mother you can’t say that” but I'm having to just take her as I find her.

I know she loves me, she never told us much but i do know she massively appreciates spending time and being with the family and her grandkids.

Shes not my best friend no, and never will be but I know she’s there for me and the family.

Yes.. I mean it is my father who is bending my arm to stay. My mother wants me out in temporary accommodation and I was headed that way until they told me my kids would be living with drug addicts and so my father put his foot down and refused me to go. She still tries to get us out😃

My mum is wonderful. I know I have someone in my corner no matter what. I'm 40 with a husband and two children but if it went tits up, they'd be there. They have always believed in me, supported me, let me cry and vent and be a total cow and they're still there.

I will be lost when my mum passes away.

One thing I remember distinctly as a child is when my mum said don't worry, it'll be ok, I genuinely, 100% believed her. Like she could magic it away.

I feel so lucky to have my mum in my life and I hope one day my children will say the same about me.

Well done for that! And to your kids you are their whole world and more than perfect!

My mum was a good mother, had some faults but she gave us a good childhood. As an adult we weren't really close in the sense of being in constant contact - she once commented on how her younger neighbour phoned her mother every day and she couldn't imagine what they had to talk about. I remember feeling somewhat upset at that, though knew I wouldn't want to do it either.

I valued her opinion and advice generally, but I didn't really share intimate thoughts with her - my own daughters are much more open with me. And I realise it wasn't the close relationship it could have been. I was brought up to be self sufficient and independent and once I got past about 30, she didnt involve herself that much in my life, though we always met up fairly regularly.

Even as a child I remember thinking that we were not the centre of her life, my dad was - though with hindsight, I don't think that was 100% true either as she found him disappointing in some ways.

She died several years ago but had had dementia for years by then. I think of her often but I don't miss her so much as miss the way she was the centre of our family. It still feels like someone is missing but that started long before she died.

That’s beautiful🥹 I hope my children say half of this about our relationship when they grow up. Well done to your amazing mother!!

You’re so lucky you had an amazing mum. I bet she was so proud of you she sounded like an amazing woman x

My mum is awesome. I'm not sure I'd describe her as my best friend, it's a different relationship. I know my mum loves me unconditionally - I've not tested it but I know she'll always have my back. Whereas I'd expect a friend might step away if I acted like enough of a fool. As kids, my mum always put me and brothers' needs first. It's very reassuring to grow up knowing that your mum will always be there. For me, I think it helped build me into a resilient, independent woman with good relationships with others.

I always knew she was a great mum but I've possibly become more aware of it recently as I've got a young baby. I'm doing my best now to emulate her!

It's similar but different to a best friend relationship: somehow deeper, with the love and understanding absolutely baked in. My Mum was my widest counsel. She was hugely supportive but also asked challenging questions and sometimes pulled me up if I needed it. She was creative and playful, made a house a home and never, ever let me down. The ways in which I miss her are innumerable.

Having a good mum feels safe. I always felt that whatever I did I always had her to fall back on. I always felt like she has put me first (I have a brother too). I felt like I had roots but she also encouraged me to fly.

I'd like to know this too. I've always had to be the parent to my mother. So I just cannot imagine having a mum that wants to look after you and be reliable or interested in me/support me.

At school my friends relationships with their mums looked wonderful to me. Like they had someone that always had their back and wanted the best for them. I didn't live with my mum at that time and she wouldn't even visit me. I'm really trying to be a different mum to my children but it's strange sometimes I feel envious of my own children. I obviously want the best for them and will do everything I can for them but seeing them grow up I realise what I didn't have, parents who really really care about them and are here for them always. I'm no contact with my dad too so I've just got no concept of what it's like to have a parent really care. It's difficult to soothe that inner child who feels so rejected and abandoned/not good enough.

My Mum is 89 now and as lovely as ever. She's always just been there for us but never interfered in our lives. I have two siblings and she has always treated us exactly the same. She's still very active and we share a passion for gardening, she's a bit cross just now because she's been for a small operation and been told not to do any gardening for a week.
I've often wished my Dad was different (less volatile and grumpy) but I wouldn't change Mum for the world. She lives in the next village and I see her once or twice a week for a couple of hours.

I can only tell you about my mum.

No, not like having a best friend. Not demonstrative. She was widowed young and worked very hard to support me and my siblings. I don’t think she ever told me she loved me - it wasn’t the done thing in those days. But I always knew she did love me and would sympathise with my problems and was on my side.

When my DH was diagnosed out of the blue with a terminal illness, the words that kept springing to my mind, though I didn’t say them, were "I want Mummy!" - even though she had died many years earlier.

I miss mine so much. When she was alive she kept me grounded. The one person ( apart from my dad) who would give me a shake (not literally) and not hold the arguments against me.

Being a mum is bloody hard work!

I still have days where I think "I want my mum" and I'm old enough to be a gran now.

My mum is lovely but she is very elderly so roles are reversed now with my brother and sister helping her and our father, although they are still active and haven't lost their marbles yet!

She just a very caring woman and always encouraged us to be the best we could be.

I'm also very close to my three siblings especially my younger sister as we are more like twins.

My parents raised us to be close and treat each other as best friends and were very grateful for that.

My mum whilst in a traditional marriage was very much about teaching us how to be independent and confident.

My mum is amazing, she isn’t my best friend, but she is the person I turn to for advice, support and comfort. She loves me unconditionally and would do anything to help me. She stayed with me and my husband when we were struggling with the baby, she went to hospital appointments with me and fought our corner when the doctors weren’t listening. She is my champion and cheerleader. When teachers at school said I would struggle to pass GCSEs as I’m dyslexic she found a specialist teacher (unusual back then) and set me extra homework 🤣 I not
only passed GCSEs, but a levels, and when to university. I was offered a scholarship for a masters but chose to sit professional exams instead. I now run my own business with 16 staff. Without my mum, I probably wouldn’t have passed my GCSEs because no one else believed in me, she is honestly the best mum in the world.